Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Partner and Night Shifts - WIBU?

54 replies

PinkPonyClub98 · 25/03/2025 17:23

Me and my partner have been together for 18 months, and are talking about potentially moving in together at some point in the near future, because he spends a lot of his time here instead of at his place anyway.

Partner works for the NHS, although up until this point, has chosen to work night shifts for the extra money. He works about 2 weeks of night shifts every 5-6 weeks.

One of the concerns I raised about us living together was about these night shifts. I am home most of the time (I’m taking some time off due to health issues and this is potentially going to be a long term thing - financially I can afford this thankfully), and it would mean me having to stay incredibly quiet all day and not being able to potter about as usual until he woke up at around 4pm in the afternoon. I live in a bungalow, which whilst spacious, the rooms are all next to each other so you can hear everything going on. I can’t move into another property at the moment due to my health issues and it being adapted for me, all one level, etc.

The other reason being, that I have a young DD who has autism, and if the night shifts fall on a weekend there is no way of keeping her quiet whilst he slept and taking her out can be tricky at times due to places being busy and her wanting to be at home unwinding after a long week at school.

He wasn’t best pleased with this, as financially he would be losing out, but WIBU to raise these issues? Are they valid concerns?

OP posts:
Buttonknot · 25/03/2025 21:36

Either he puts up with the noise or he stops doing night shifts. I don't think you need to tell him to stop - if he's happy to carry on and understands about the noise, then that's ok?

Poutysorry · 26/03/2025 06:37

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Cyclistmumgrandma · 26/03/2025 07:23

ScaryM0nster · 25/03/2025 18:56

There’s a pretty straightforward one here.

Talk about how things might work. Ear plugs,day trips out etc. Then try it for a fortnight while he’s still
got his own place and see how things go. If the plan isn’t working he can bail to his, get caught up on sleep and you can rethink things together with a different approach.

Was just about to suggest this as the obvious next step.

Poutysorry · 26/03/2025 08:04

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread