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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Do you get granny's a mother's day present?

74 replies

Lavender14 · 25/03/2025 12:05

My sister gets my mum two mother's day gifts, one from her and one from my nieces. I don't get her one from my son as she's not his mother and buy her a gift from myself. She thinks it's unreasonable not to buy grannies a mother's day gift from their gc. What do others think?

Yabu - I buy an additional gift from my child to their granny

Yanbu - I only buy one gift from myself to my mum.

OP posts:

KatherineSiena · 25/03/2025 16:15

It sounds as if you are being very generous already. I think it’s rather sad that your mum doesn’t think to take your DC to get a little something for you.

Writerbiter · 25/03/2025 16:27

My DM and DMIL get a present from all of us. The kids make them a card each as well. Let's celebrate all of us (unless they are shit in which case, don't). All my mum WhatsApp groups are full of lovely messages on mother's day.

MN is full of complaints about not being appreciated so I'm all for celebrating the mums in my life.

thepariscrimefiles · 25/03/2025 16:29

Lavender14 · 25/03/2025 13:25

My mum does do a lot which I do really appreciate but she also does have form for feeling quite hard done by no matter how much effort goes into gifting which I think is a big part of me begrudging adding an additional gift to the mix when I'm already getting her a spa day and as a lone parent with a very young dc I don't actually get anything myself and money is tight. Not that it's a big deal that i don't get anything, even ds is older I'll help him with that but that's why it irks me when I'm put under pressure to make a big fuss from ds for someone else.

TBH I think your mum should buy you a Mother's Day card/gift from your DC as they are too young to do it themselves and you don't have a partner to do it.

She is definitely unreasonable to expect a gift from you and her grandchild while you get nothing.

A spa day for your mum is very generous especially as money is tight.

Maray1967 · 25/03/2025 16:34

MIL and DSM each get a card from our DC and I send flowers to DSM who doesn’t have DC of her own and to whom I am very grateful for all she does for DF and for us. She’s a brilliant holiday bargain finder for starters. DH does a card and flowers from us both to MIL.

toastandegg · 25/03/2025 16:39

No, I get a card for dm, maybe flowers. I only expect a card from my dc and a bunch of daffs always go down well

EmmaEmEmz · 25/03/2025 16:42

No. My children's nan is their nan. Not their mother. I am their mother. Their nan is my mother.

Everydayimhuffling · 25/03/2025 16:48

No, and I don't give my DM anywhere near as big a gift as you are giving yours! That's more like a big birthday gift to me. Mother's Day is more like flowers or a box of chocolates.

From my DC I'll get handmade cards and the small present their school was selling because DD wanted to get it and DS has to have what she's having always. I hope you do something lovely with your DS, and don't worry about your DM who is clearly never satisfied!

Ilovelurchers · 25/03/2025 16:54

I do but it's only a small thing - I think I have forgotten a few times - and she wouldn't chase me up for it.

And I agree with others - if you are on your own it would be nice if your mom helped DD get you a gift or make a card or whatever. My ex's mom does this for father's day, as does his partner, as do I - so my ex gets three fathers day gifts! (I mean, that's over kill, and I just get a mother's day gift he pays for and DD organises and chooses).

I don't think there are hard and fast rules. But your mom shouldn't make you feel bad about this when it sounds like you buy her very generous gifts!

Toddlergirly · 25/03/2025 16:57

I buy a Mother’s Day present and cards for my mum from me and my dd. I don’t buy MIL anything because she’s not my mum and it is up to DP.

PutYourSpecsOnJean · 25/03/2025 17:24

Snorlaxo · 25/03/2025 13:07

Depends if the grannies do a lot of mothering imo. If my mum, sister, aunt… was picking up my kids from school, doing lots of childcare and other mothering tasks then I would buy them a gift from my child.

Isn’t it technically Mothering Sunday rather than Mother’s Day or did I imagine that ?

Edited

@Snorlaxo Both names are correct - Mothering Sunday is the date we celebrate on, Mother's Day is the event we celebrate nowadays (had to do quite a lot of research into it a few years ago but I don't want to derail the thread with a longer explanation).

OP I'm with you, never did Mother's Day for the Grans although we did celebrate them plenty with the DC eg always getting them separate cards/gifts from the DC for birthday and Christmas

SallyWD · 25/03/2025 17:26

I just buy a gift and say it's from the family - me, DH and our children. In the card I always put something about her being a great mother, mother in law and grandmother.

BumbleBeegu · 25/03/2025 21:00

M grandchildren get me a present. I’ve never expected it, but they have always done this.

Saying that, I used to get my mum presents from my own children, and they continued to send them as adults, so perhaps this is why my daughter buys me a present from my grandchildren.

They love ‘giving Nanny gifts’ though, and my pleasure at receiving them is more about their gorgeous excited faces as they wait for me to unwrap. It could be a ‘too-tight, homemade loom band bracelet’ and I’d love it just as much as a bottle of Chanel.

Side-note: I’ve never received a bottle of Chanel 🤣

PeloMom · 25/03/2025 21:01

Nope. It’s Mother’s Day not grandmothers day. It’s granny’s kids job to sort it out

TheatreTraveller · 25/03/2025 21:02

Yes, our children get our mam's (and grandma) a card and small token gift/bunch of daffs.

elliejjtiny · 25/03/2025 21:05

I just get my mum something from me and dh gets his mum something from him. Dh also helps the dc get something for me.

Lulu1919 · 25/03/2025 21:06

No I've never given a card or gift for being a grandparent on Mother or Father's Day from me or my children.
I'm now a grandma and wouldn't expect a card from my grandson I'm his granny not his mummy !

tarheelbaby · 25/03/2025 21:20

I send a card to my own mother but no one else signs it. I don't live in my home country so I don't get to see her for Mother's Day. My DSis hosts her.

For DH's mother, he used to organise a card and sign it. I think the DDs and I signed it too. MIL is a lovely lady and makes a big effort to be involved.

She often gives me one as the DM of her GCs. As a family, we are often together on Mothering Sunday.

Now that DH, sadly, has died. I have a card for her from me and the DDs and we are hosting her and FIL on 30th since it's his birthday this week.

SnobblyBobbly · 25/03/2025 21:24

I bought from the kids when they were small but if they want to buy for Grandmothers now it’s up to them. TBH neither of them feature heavily in our lives so it seems a bit forced to send them Mother’s Day gifts and cards.

Nina1013 · 25/03/2025 22:15

No. She’s not her mum.

My husband doesn’t have a mum who is still with us, and I’m not big on hallmark style occasions, so I tend to buy flowers and a card from me and then we (husband, daughter, mum and I) have lunch or dinner out, and a weekend away once the schools break up for Easter. It’s my mum’s ‘present’ but really it’s just an excuse to treat her. I’ve never included my child on the card or flowers card.

mindutopia · 25/03/2025 22:22

No, just a small gift and a card from Dh. And we all say happy Mother’s Day. We aren’t a big making a show with lots of presents family. Multiple presents would come across as a bit over the top. Dh doesn’t even see his mum on Mother’s Day, nor does BIL. Dh mostly because he has me and dc. BIL because he lives like 6 hours away.

hiredandsqueak · 26/03/2025 07:34

I do think it's poor of your mum not to organise a card and gift for you from your child. Dd is a single parent and I would never let any occasion go by where she didn't get a card and gift from grandson. Grandson is 5 now and has his own ideas of what he would like to get for her so I enjoy the conspiracy between us. A spa day is a hugely generous gift in my mind, here gifts are more a bunch of flowers, box of chocolates or my favourite a book.

AppleCelebration · 26/03/2025 07:36

I used to get my gran gifts for Mother’s Day.

it pissed my narcissistic mother off so much (I got her nothing 😅)

my gran found it hilarious

CrispEater2000 · 30/03/2025 00:57

We do, well, we did. DS has lost both of his grandmas now but we used to give cards from him as well as us.

I still get my Gran and Nana cards and flowers from us. I used to spend a lot of time with them when I was a kid. They're late 70s/80s now and I just think it's nice for them to get something.

Charliecatpaws · 30/03/2025 02:02

when my parents were alive they would have cards off me and DC’s but one present off us all

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