CMS age limit

[RhaenysRocks]

First of all , can I plead that we keep this thread focused on the issue at hand, not all the other myriad "what about x" issues with CMS.
Currently, CMS ends when a child is 18 or leaves full time FE (but not HE). Given that very few people are now able to be financially independent of parents until at least early twenties, especially with the current situation with rents, zero hours contracts, difficulties for young people to get full time, decent employment, AIBU to argue that the rules around CMS should change. The devil is in the detail of course, but realistically, many RPs will be hosting their adult children for 3-5 years longer than traditionally was the case. If the NRP is not willing or able to have them stay 50/50 should there be an obligation to continue to support them in that case, even if it was a direct payment to the child from whom the RP then elicits rent? I really don't want a bunfight or a "I left at 16 and never looked back". It's 2025, the world has changed and even the brightest, most driven kids are often still at home beyond the age of CB.

HNC and HND are higher education and students are able to apply for student loans so no child maintenance will be payable.

@MrsSunshine2b I think the idea would be as if is now - if the DC lives 50/50 during their apprenticeship/in uni holidays with both parents, then there wouldn’t be a CMS payment; or if the child had moved out entirely then there wouldn’t be a CMS payment

But again, there is no legal right to stay with your parents after the age of 18 and some parents might have very good reason not to allow that.

If we say it's mandatory for one parent to house their child in the holidays or pay towards to costs of living at Uni, it must become mandatory for both parents. That's not desirable. What if the parent becomes aware that the child is not turning up to lectures, drinking away all the money they give them and failing all their exams? The usual advice would be to stop giving them money until they take responsibility.

In the UK, 18 is an adult. CMS and CB are extended to cover up to A levels or equivalent as that is considered a minimum standard we want everyone to meet. Anything after that is personal choice and parents- regardless of whether they live with the child or not- are not legally obliged to facilitate it.

You’re not calculating their share of the gas electricity water, rental mortgage on a bigger property.
When I was a single gal back in the day, I owned a three bedroom house that was more than adequate for myself. But it was the wrong area to raise children in in terms of schools.
So there’s an additional cost, assuming you don’t want your kid to go to school in Beirut.
As for even the short period where there’s no funding for Nursery the resident parent gets hammered for the full fees and it’s a rare day that the non-resident parent is even paying half of those with the total amount of CMS
I’m afraid you’re not going to win this argument when you’ve got a five-year-old frankly. Last month I spent £400 on glasses and trainers alone.

Fine, it looks as though he’s going to be a hairdresser, a plumber and Electrician first before university then.

All of which will mean he’s in a good position to work part time and fund himself.

But I have very much learnt the hard way that unless it’s legally enforced by a government agency the ex thinks £50 a month is a sufficient contribution towards his older children’s university years. Doesn’t mind sitting on the front row clapping loudly when they graduate though having contributed absolutely bugger all.

Well there's absolutely no way I'd ever buy my child glasses and trainers totalling £400. They'd have to save their pocket money.

Our 3 bed house is approximately £100 more per month in mortgage than a 2 bed house in the same area would be. Our bills have not changed. Our water is on a fixed rate, if the heating is on, it's on, it doesn't cost more to be heating another person.

I dont disagree if the young person goes onto higher education. If they work then rent should be paid.
My eldest will graduate this year, she’s lived at home during her degree and I have provided for her alongside her part time job. My ex has contributed not even a meal once a month never mind a few pounds towards lunch or support with her travel. He’ll be there no doubt in graduation day gushing on Facebook and getting his likes about what a great dad he is and in reality he deserves none of it as he’s put nothing in.
So yes I believe he should be liable for maintenance as she’s in higher education and I’m expected to top her up but he gets to walk away financially

Staceysmum2025 I think we’ve almost written the same thing!!

As I said, you’re in for a shock. Pocket money being spent to be able see ? Really ?

So there you go straight away there’s another hundred pounds to add onto your 650
Kids do put the heating on when you’re not in the house. And forget to turn it off.
In my area, the jump is 50 grand per bedroom.
You’re not talking about a two bedroom place to a three bedroom place you’re talking about a one bedroom place to potentially as a three bedroom place. If it was just me, I’d be living in the house that I paid £49,000 for many moons ago and I would’ve paid it off tenfold by now.

The non-resident parent doesn’t even have a bedroom for the children at his shag pad.
He doesn’t have to wash their clothes costing electricity. He doesn’t have to wash their bedding costing electricity. Petrol to and from School is at least £200 a month it’s all of the little things that add up. Don’t even get me started on the loss of wages and the number of promotions that I’ve turned down over the years because quite simply I couldn’t do it. And be a present parent. I did try it went horribly wrong.
I think you’re a bit naive with a five-year-old to be blunt.

They really do make you sick.
I spent the day before getting her hair blow dried and cut, nails and fake tan, running around the shops trying to find an emergency last minute pair of shoes to match the change of outfit which luckily had been borrowed. I spent over £100 on the official photographs.
Naturally, I paid for the gown hire.
He turns up with an hour to go buys everybody a drink like he’s the Lord of the manner and sat there like a performing seal in the front row.
The student loans have been calculated on both he and his wife’s income so she got sod all. 30 grand it cost me in total.
And he has the cheek to overpay into his pension to minimise his liability towards the little one.
Bring back the stocks

Maybe come back when your child is 18 and see if you still think these things, rather than preaching at people who have been there, done it and got the T-shirt from your perspective of having raised a child for five whole years.

I have never spent more than £50 on a pair of trainers for myself. Glasses do not cost £350 unless he wanted a very fancy frame.

I can't speak for what you spend on your son, but I have done the comparisons on a 2 bed vs a 3 bed, therefore an extra bedroom to accommodate DD, and the difference was £100 a month in mortgage. It isn't logical to work out the total cost over the whole mortgage because at the end of it the £50k in equity is yours, not your DSs.

You missed my point. But since you have a hobby horse to ride, and I have dinner to cook, I will leave it there.

But these things can only state minimum requirements.
You are not legally obliged to provide for another adult.
At 18 you can get a job that pays enough to feed and clothe you. By 19 dd2 had left home and was renting a house with her boyfriend.

As I said FURTHER education. Not higher.

Some kids are just not intersted in expensive clothes and shoes,my 18 year old isnt.

I'm not riding any hobby horse. I'm not sure what point you were trying to make.

We cannot mandate that parents fund their children in to adulthood. If one or both parents choose to, that's very nice of them.

I've had 3 of them . All over 18 now Youngest is 21. I've never paid for designer glasses or expensive trainers either.

None of the kids have worried about brands that much. My DDs tend to buy supermarket clothes and DS buys all weird and wonderful things to wear from bootsales and charity shops

Maybe come back when your child is 18 and see if you still think these things, rather than preaching at people who have been there, done it and got the T-shirt from your perspective of having raised a child for five whole years
I've been there, single mum, never got a penny in maintenance and my kids have long learn that they don't get fancy trainers and expensive glasses unless they pay for them. I have never in my life spent more than £150 on a pair of glasses and that's with all the adds on. Asda do 2 pairs under £100.

I totally get the nrps who look forward to stoping paying for unnecessary luxuries for their kids when it doesn't align with their own principles.

£400 for glasses?! There's so many online glasses retailers now, I bought 3 pairs for £6.99 each, lenses included!

I don't think people are talking about clothes.

As a glasses wearer myself, it's not designer frames that are expensive, but lens thinning if you have very poor eyesight.

My glasses have been 100s of pounds since my teens. The frames are a tiny bit of the cost, I have a high prescription.

Is lens thinning not just cosmetic?

Have you bought glasses recently?! Mine were £600. Non-branded frames.

Yes it is cosmetic, and if my children have the misfortune to be as myopic as I am when they are teenagers, I will gladly spend the extra money rather than let them endure their teenage years peering through budget frames with lenses as thick as the bottoms of glass coke bottles which make their eyes appear unnaturally large.

Because I love my children and I recognise that there is a middle ground between raising spoilt brats and making your children feel that they're only worth the cheapest and nastiest of everything, which I don't think is good for their self esteem.