To be shocked that the resident parent has to foot the nursery bill?

[Inkap]

What is the rationale behind this other than further and continued abuse of women?

It quite literally puts some single mothers into poverty or at the least very difficult circumstances when they cannot afford to stay in a job.

What the fuck is wrong with this country?

I'm guessing the mother chose and booked the childcare, who else would pay for it? ..and aren't there lots of subsidies and interventions for low wages single parents?

I don’t agree with it, in the slightest but it should never be a surprise for any woman. The patriarchy is strong, still!

Well untill there is a law forcing a parent to have their child at set times set out in a court of law whoever is the resident parent is the one going to be needing childcare during their time and having to pay.

@Regretsmorethanafew yes you have to book and pay for childcare when you need to go to work.

Because the maintenance from the non resident parent legally is all they have to pay and it is supposed to contribute to all costs. But I agree it’s shit. Me paying nursery fees enabled both me and my ex H to work didn’t it?!

@UndermyShoeJoe that would be unenforceable. Forcing an absent father to pay their way, however, is not unenforceable.

@Sanch1 it shouldn’t be what they legally have to contribute. They should pay half their child’s costs and nursery fees are fundamental costs.

Yes. If you choose a crèche, book it, and go to work....who do you imagine would pay?

So both parents should pay half. Should be included in amount absent spouse pays for childcare.

@Regretsmorethanafew I know it’s a shocking concept but perhaps both parents pay equally towards their child’s nursery costs? Wild thought, isn’t it.

Paying their way doesn’t include paying for a childcare place they have zero say in or technically need though is it. Thats the issue.

One parent wants the £800 a month one wants the £1,000 a month. One has family who would cover during their time the other has to pay. Ones entitled to help with UC one isn’t. Too many variables.

Who then decides the place value? What if the nrp if it was there time would use granny? Have cheaper local to them childcare but rp doesn’t want to use that.

@UndermyShoeJoe

you say there’s ’too many variables.’ So… the answer is abuse women? How about men take the hit when something is unquantifiable? Why are they benefiting from this? These are the parents who are absent, remember, so doing fuck all practically either.

Both parents should pay, since both parents are enabled to work by the existence of childcare. Basic maintenance in most cases does not cover the cost of childcare, despite the non resident parent being a beneficiary.

It’s very shocking I agree with you.
Fathers seem to get away with a lot still.

Can’t actually believe some posters here saying it’s not quantifiable and too hard to assess, that that means the WOMAN, the one doing all the care and practical stuff as well, also has to suffer financially! Why are you all ok with men getting the benefit? If anyone should it should be the woman doing every bloody other thing for the child on top of paying for them.

It’s not abusing women as a thing. It’s the RP tho yes more are women.

It’s just a simple case of person who needs the childcare is the one who pays. So as I said unless you can force the NRP to parent equally they don’t need the childcare. Unless you want the NRP having a say in which childcare settings you can use? Or insisting that their best mates aunties cousin will
Do it for free?

Tbf lots of 50/50 custody now so they are paying half in those situations.
For those on low incomes, the tax payer pays the majority.

Too many variables that might mean a man has to pay 50% of childcare costs so let’s push all costs onto the mother 👍

Let him have 50% say in the childcare then. For 50% of the time he can pick what where when the childcare. Even if it’s a random mate for free or the nursery you hate.

Oh rubbish, there are many ways this could be done including taking a notional amount based on average costs in the local area to the child.

There is no excuse or justification for one parent to opt out of supporting their own child.

@cressidahun exactly!

@UndermyShoeJoe can’t you see how sexist this is? It IS financial abuse of women.

YANBU OP. I have a male friend who split from his partner a year ago and was moaning to me about his ex wanting more child maintenance and slagging her off for it claiming it all goes on stuff for her. I told him he’s not even paying the bare minimum currently as he’s not covering half the nursery fees and has left her to foot the bill. It got me blocked for a couple of months but I stand by what I said.

It’s already so easy for men to not pay maintenance, I agree it should be harder and they should have to pay half of all costs. But I don’t know how you do that.

Universal credit should support mothers, if they qualify they will pay up to 80% of childcare costs. I completely agree with you OP that they shouldn’t have to, but how do you make a man pay for childcare costs he isn’t incurring and can argue against?

@UndermyShoeJoe ‘let him.’ Men are able to run companies and have leading jobs and yet you think women need to ‘let’ them partake in childcare arrangements? If they wanted to do that they could.