To be shocked that the resident parent has to foot the nursery bill?

[Inkap]

What is the rationale behind this other than further and continued abuse of women?

It quite literally puts some single mothers into poverty or at the least very difficult circumstances when they cannot afford to stay in a job.

What the fuck is wrong with this country?

@OrangeSlices998 the law should be changed that they contribute an average 50% of costs. It’s really that simple.

You’re being pedantic now. The point was when you book your lovely nursery or childminder that you love like trust that’s fine but if you want half of it covering if he decides to pick the cheapest place possible or a mate you have to accept that as well.

@eyeoflifehe its awful isn’t it. Men have such an entitlement and I think it’s actually getting worse not better

I also 100% agree maintenance is shit btw and have said before on here a minimum rate set and paid by the government and then clawed back for life by then should be the minimum rather than a shitty £7 a week because stoped working or working cash in hand.

How does that work if the father doesn’t earn enough to pay 50% of his ex partner’s living costs? It’s a great soundbite, but completely unworkable.

Okay and how do you enforce it? CMS isn’t enforceable as is, many shit men will just go off unemployed or cash in hand. I am not agreeing with it AT ALL but you don’t have to look far to see men aren’t punished now for not paying maintenance I don’t see what you could do to make an unwilling scum bag pay if he just gives up work or does cash in hand.

I think Universal Credit paying up to 80% of nursery fees as it is currently is the better option. Unfortunately, far too many men don't pay for their child anyway and it isn't going to start if child maintenance is changed to include nursery fees.

The only way around it maybe would be jailing men who refuse to pay and include half of the cost of nursery frees with child maintenance.

Well, the father should pay for half of it or arrange half the required childcare. Also, the subsidy as you put it is £1014.63 per month for 1 child or £1739.37 for 2 or more children or 85% whichever is lower it doesn't touch the sides of the cost

Yeah my best friends partner cheated on her, kicked her out and now she has to pay for the full nursery costs for her child as he won’t pay anything towards it.

I think 85percent is a lot more than touching the sides. It's paying almost all of it.

The solution to this is for 50 50 to be the default custody split. That would mean that both parents would pay whatever childcare they needed on their time.

The rp is also the one eligible for child benefit, UC including childcare costs and CM. And there is a very generous amount of free childcare hours in this country.
In reality a lot of NRPs are worse off than RP if they're not in a high paying job and aren't in a houseshare due to having the children overnight.
UC tops up wages like another adult contributing whereas NRPs who are decent still have accommodation costs to meet on one wage.
It's different if the NRP is a high earner, but in that case CM should reflect that.

Yes it’s shit what mainly men get away with and there is no real CMS enforcement. Men often don’t pay anywhere near the cost of raising their child when they split with the mother. They seem to think or pretend they do though. Much respect to single mothers that ensure their children’s needs are met regardless

Exactly this.

I suspect a lot of those dads would suddenly disappear never to be seen again! However yes I agree the ideal solution is 50/50 residence and each parent pays for any childcare they need.

I get the impression that universal credit is slightly worse than tax credits as it pays childcare in arrears.

Back in 2010 I was able to get the childcare fees paid on time via tax credits.

You’re not wrong about the law failing to do enough to ensure that both parents pay for their children. The problem with paying for child care is that from the providers perspective, they have to take more risk and do more admin if they have a contract with two separated parents, and that’s assuming two parents are willing to pay. They can’t enforce payment from a parent who has t chosen to use their facility and sign a contract.

IMO the state should pay for children upfront, including CM, and then recoup the costs from the parents. If they can enforce council tax a parking fines, they can enforce parents paying for their children.

My ex’s solution to this was to quit his job when I looked into childcare to return to work.

That was helpful….

The people stating 85% of costs get paid really don’t have a clue either.
85% of the cost gets added into your UC entitlement for the month, but your wage also gets taken into account.
My nursery bill of £1400+ a month gets a grand total of £400 in help from UC and my child’s father has to pay fuck all else from the other 1k required to meet her needs whilst he is ALSO in work (due to the fact that I solely pay for our child’s care with a 50/50 child arrangement order).
The CMS needs a complete overhaul and to not assume that all children of separated parents are 3+ with the exact same needs.

If dad had the child 50/50 then he could use the £800 nursery and mum could use the £1000 nursery and they both pay for their days.

Many men pay child maintenance rather than nursery fees because it’s much cheaper and less hassle. Having to do nursery runs is a hassle that can interfere with career progression and free time for those time consuming hobbies that men like to have on here.

If OP wants to see a decrease in her nursery fees then hoping that her ex gets together with a new gf who will do his share of the childcare is her best bet. Depressing but often very true.

This is why women should be very judicious about when, and with whom, they procreate with.

It should be obvious by now to anyone with an IQ that if things go haywire, it's going to be the woman whose career, finances, energy, health, living arrangements, etc., are most likely to suffer. And yet .... people go merrily forward having child after child without considering or planning for the worst case scenarios that are so common.

I don't think NRP should be forced to pay any expenses the RP dreams up, though. What if they select the most expensive nursery option or refuse to seek family support?

It's a maximum of 85% when my childcare costs were £1900 per month the then £977.33 (max payable then now £1014.63) was nowhere near most. Ended up having to quit my job because I couldn't afford to live and pay that bill

Both parents should pay for it as it enables both parents to work.

My bet is a lot of women aren't prepared to only see their children 50 percent of the time.

generously, assuming you’re not trying to be obtuse, what do you suggest otherwise?