To feel very sobered by this thought?

[WinceyWill]

I’m exactly the same age now as my Mum was in December 1983. I remember December 1983 very well. When my mum was exactly my age, she had 13.5 years until she’d be diagnosed with a very aggressive, terminal cancer (and would only live a year afterwards)

My mother was a very heavy drinker and smoker.

December 1983 seemed like a magical time. AIBU to be freaked out by the thought that if I was my mum then, I’d only have 13.5 before a terminal cancer diagnosis ?

I completely get this OP. I am two years from the age my mother was when she died. She was only diagnosed a few months before dying. She was a very healthy, clean-living person, and kind and generous and I am so, so grateful to have had her. I don't think I really clocked how young she was until I stated approaching that age myself. It will be very strange to become old (as I hope to do) and knowing that I have left her age behind.
Sending you a hug. It's very odd isn't it.

🤗🤗

No, you're not being unreasonable to be freaked out about things like that.

My very sensible levelheaded dad surprised me on his birthday one year and said he was glad to be the next birthday along from the age his dad had died.

My dad was only nine years older than I am now when he died (quite young at 65) & as my own health is not great, it does make you think.

What I hadn't thought about until now is that I am now roughly the age my grandad his dad was when he died.

Sometimes it pays not to think too much🙇🏻‍♀️

I understand op...I recently turned the age my mother was when she died and I'm now older than she ever was...it's a really weird feeling isn't it

I'm the same age my mum was when she died and it's on my mind most days. Apparently it's a thing, not seeing yourself pass the age your parent died. For some people anyway. Hugs all round

I’m three years younger now than my mum was when she died. I feel young. I’ve got a grandson on the way. Lots to do and look forward to. It makes me understand that she was so young x

Thank you - yes it’s odd ❤️

This year I will be older than my Mum ever was.

it’s a very sobering thought and my emotions around it swing wildly.

I recall my father becoming very low when he turned 54. His mother had a catastrophic stroke at the age of 54 and although she lived another 18 years she was bedridden and non-verbal all that time.

I am 52 and have already had the thoughts of my GM.

I think the only thing any of us can do is to live well. Live honourably. Live lovingly. And be aware every day that many out there would have wished that they or their loved ones had lived as long as we have right this very same day.

I will be the same age this year, as my DF was when he died. I think about it constantly, and I'm not sure why. It freaks me out a bit

I think overall I'd see it as a positive in some ways that I got that much time. The way the world is at the moment, and the constant threats from all kinds of things, I often wonder if we can make it another 5 years. Or whether we can make it another 5 years but it's miserable as all hell and no real life to live and we wish we'd quit while we had it good.

I completely understand why you feel like this. I’m starting to get close to the age my mother was diagnosed with dementia, she died 4 years later. It was horrible to watch her disappear and I’m terrified I’m going to get that horrid disease as my grandfather also had it.

it’s a very sobering thought and I know people say, make the most of everyday, but it doesn’t stop me thinking of it all the time

Yes, I feel it too. My sister, who is the most unsentimental person ever, also felt it and told me without prompting how relieved she was to get past the age our mum died. I also felt the same and felt more at peace with it for many years.

Now, however, in 2 years, my oldest child will be 18 - the age I was when my old life ended with her death and my other life started. This is preying on my mind- it crosses my mind that I've only got 2 years left!

YADNBU....but focus on the blessings, the good, the happiness, the love in your life. Let the darkness take care of itself.

My mum died of a subarachnoid brain hemorrhage aged 45, i'm now 46, it's horrible to think i'm living a life she never got the chance to experience :(

I could understand being freaked out if you were now the age your mum was when she was diagnosed or when she died, but what is the significance in being thirteen and a half years younger than she was when she was diagnosed? It's pretty random.

I remember year’s ago Madonna alluding to this. She was approaching the age her own mother died (it was young, maybe 32) and it had a big effect on her. It seems to be a very normal reaction.

Ah yes that’s not the same as a diagnosis or death. I wonder what the significance of 13.5 years is, wouldn't the previous year have been 14.5 years and the same age as her mum? 🤷‍♀️

Sorry to hear that cancer took your mom in such a devastating manner.
However, I am struggling to understand what is so special about December 1983.
So I understand correctly, your mom passed away in April 1998. (That comes from adding 13.5 years to December 1983 and then one extra year, as per your post).
You have now the same age as she had when she still had 14.5 years ahead of her (ie: December 1983).
6 months ago, you had the same age she had when she still had 15.years ahead of her (ie: June 1983)
In one year time, you will have the same age she had when she still had 13.5 years ahead of her (ie: December 1984).
I can't wrap my ahead about what December 1983 is any more special than any other time.
Why do you say if feels like magical ?

Ah sorry to hear this - 54 is very young to have a stroke ❤️

Am also 52

Dunno December 1983 was magical for me I’d love to go back to that time

my mum passed in August 1998

Can I just say thank you for this.

I’ve lost both my parents before I was 40 and my eldest is coming home to the same age I was when I lost the first. I am really struggling with this concept and nobody seems to understand when I say i assume I’ll die young. You’ve made me feel a lot less dramatic.

Big hugs. It can be very sobering to think where you/your parents were at certain times.

When my mother left my dad, she was nearly 36 and by the time she was 40, she had belatedly completed her last year of university and put herself through law school plus was parenting 2 tweens. Realising that in my late 30s increased my awe for her.
My father's mother died suddenly at 65 and I know when he reached that age, he thought a lot about those days. He will be 80 in a few weeks!

Living well is the best way to honour her. Make her proud!

I had these feeling too.

My mum died age 41, and was only diagnosed with cancer one week before she died. I've got photos of her looking absolutely fine just months before she died. I never expected to get past this age somehow - it was a bit surreal when I did (I'm 52 now). My colleague who lost his dad when they were a child felt exactly the same (he is also now well past the age his dad was).

Oh I get this 100%. I’m now 3 years older than my mum was and scarily 37 years older than my sister when she died. As I’ve got older I see each year past my mum’s age as a gift. I do my best to live well, to live for her as well as for me.

I miss them both terribly,

I thought I was the only one who thought like this - my ex boyfriend even called me morbid. On 8 July this year I’ll be older than my mum ever got to be. At 52 I’m already five years older than my brother got to be. I’ve booked the day off and I’m going to do something really nice - not sure yet, but need to live the rest of my life as if they were bonus days.

Ah sorry to hear this ❤️

I’m 52,as well but my mum was 41 when I was born !