To feel very sobered by this thought?

[WinceyWill]

I’m exactly the same age now as my Mum was in December 1983. I remember December 1983 very well. When my mum was exactly my age, she had 13.5 years until she’d be diagnosed with a very aggressive, terminal cancer (and would only live a year afterwards)

My mother was a very heavy drinker and smoker.

December 1983 seemed like a magical time. AIBU to be freaked out by the thought that if I was my mum then, I’d only have 13.5 before a terminal cancer diagnosis ?

Not death related but I realised a few years ago that I was the same age as my mum was when she'd just dropped me at Uni and become an empty nester - and she seemed so old to me at the time, and now I'm that age and it occurs to me that that's how my DC see me- ie completely differently to how I see myself.

Thank you @WinceyWill - and so sorry for your loss too. My mum was 36 when I was born, and I was almost five when she died. It is such a profound loss to lose a parent when you're still a child 💐. Not that is is easy at any age, of course.

I'm five years older now than my mum when she died. I felt like I lost my road map for the future when I crossed her age. It was a very lost feeling. I still feel like ut at times.

Gosh that’s very young to lose your mum ❤️

Another kind of weird realisation was that I have been with my DH for longer than my parents were together....that felt a bit strange too. Almost like I'm more "grown up" now than my parents ever were...not sure if that makes sense.

I feel it hugely! My brother is older than me and felt the same thing. He said it's been easier since he moved beyond that age.
I feel like we should all meet up and go and sit in a big hall together and trauma bond 😁

Im the same...I have always assumed I would die young too. Because of that I've never really made any long term provisions or plans for old age...DH is always going on about pensions...I told him I just have always assumed I'd die before I'd ever need one.

My dad died of heart failure at 48, after 3 previous heart attacks.
As I approached that age it started to prey on my mind, so at 49 I went to see my GP to ask if I was at risk. His response was that we’d only know when I keeled over. Very comforting.
I had another crisis approaching 67, which I’d heard was the average age people used to die after retirement.
On the other hand I won’t need to feel that way again for another 20 years, until I approach the age DM died.

I get it. I’m early 60s and not far off the age my dad was when he died - I was a teen when it happened. He seemed old to me at the time - he was 49 when I was born - but now it seems no age to die.

Yes me too x

I’m about 18 months off the age my mum was when she died. It’s been lurking in the back of my mind and I’ve been trying to shove it aside, as I’ve got a feeling I might have a bit of mental breakdown 😬

I'm 5 years off my mum being dead for more of my life than she was alive. It's awful.

Just wanted to say thank you to everyone sharing their stories and massive sympathy to you all.

So many of these comments resonate with me - the posters who've been called morbid and who assume they'll die young or feel like they have no road map because of a lost parent.

It's a comfort to think I'm not the only one who thinks like this. Let's all do our best to enjoy the time we have 😀