If you’d booked a babysitter

[FanofLeaves]

And they’d completed a 7 hour shift for you, entertaining and then putting your small children to bed, and then staying up until you get in at 1am, how soon would you be paying them?

I’m a nanny but I do a bit of babysitting work on the odd weekend for extra cash. Desperately in need of the extra cash at the moment and my bank account is looking pretty bare so am currently getting pissed off looking at my bank account and willing a payment of over £100 (including the uber home I had to get due to public transport having stopped, I don’t drive) to appear.

I sent a text with the amount owed and my bank details, attaching the taxi receipt, at 9:30am yesterday morning.

I think I’m going to either have to ask for some payment to be made in advance, or charging a late fee but this sounds a bit arsey snd I’m worried it might put people off. Then again, if you are say in a restaurant or have had your haircut you pay promptly after receiving that service, you don’t pay it at some point over the next few days!

i’ll send a nudge later this morning but it annoys me that I have to do it.

So I guess my question is, say you’d booked a babysitter, how promptly do you pay them? And would you expect to be charged a late fee for taking 24+ to pay? I get it, we have busy lives, I’m a mum myself, but it just feels like a piss take. I think I’ve had one babysitting gig this year where the money has hit my account before I’m even home, all the others take up to 3 days to make payment.

On the food thing, I think it depends on when they're starting.

If you've asked them to come at 6, knowing they've just finished work at 5.30, you know they won't have had time to eat dinner. In that case I'd probably say "on the food front, is there anything we can get you?"

If, however, your babysitting is starting at 8pm, and you got off work at 5.30, I'd assume you'd eaten before you came. I'd probably leave some snacks out though and say help yourself to tea, coffee, soft drinks, etc.

It's not really comparable to a plumber or gardener IMO - babysitters are often doing the work for extra cash and as a favour, not as a full time job.

It’s not the same thing at all. They have their own vehicle as part of their job, presumably. And they don’t work until late into the night, presumably. And yes of course I’d always offer tea and biscuits.

I have never not paid a babysitter before they left and it's really off of them not to have paid you.

You’re wrong. After a certain time you pay for someone to get home safely. Certainly in London or any big city.

OP - I always paid cash either physically or by transfer when I got home and before my sitter left. I ordered a cab from my account so the payment automatically came from me. You need to be clear and upfront about receiving payment before you leave their house/flat.

In this day and age transferring money online, instantly, is the norm and there are no excuses not to do it.

Im a single parent so I had a full network of help, none of the ladies I used would have done the job if I didn’t pay them then and there.

Coffee/ water yes. And if they would stay late in the evening babysitting my children they would be fed as well:)

Regarding the payment, I always try to pay on the night and one of our babysitter only takes cash so she is paid as she leaves. If it's really late I'll usually leave it until the morning, mainly because I don't want to make a mistake with the amount.
I would always make sure I pay the next morning though, whether it's 2 or 7h (and whether it's a babysitter or any one else providing a service).

As for the other points being debated here:

• if there is food (e.g. I've been baking that day, or the babysitter is giving the kids dinner), I will make sure there is an extra portion of they want it and will let them know to help themselves. Most bring their own food or eat before though, so would usually only take the tea and cakes. I would not pay for take out or anything like this, or prepare a meal just for them if the kids have had dinner already. We also don't tend to have much snacks like biscuits or crisps in the house, so I wouldn't mind them having some but I won't buy it just for them. When I go to work I don't expect my employer to feed me, I think that's a norm across most industries.

• they need to sort out transportation, we don't pay for taxis etc. The few that have taken the bus have had issues, particularly if they live far, so we would give them a chance but our regular babysitters have always been local and/or driving.

You seem very hostile towards babysitters, not wanting to feed nor get them safely home. Bad experiences? If you have a child who starts babysitting when older you might change your mind..

I would expect them to wait until I had bank transferred it across and proven it before they left. I would never let a babysitter leave without giving them their wage.

Still nothing so I’ve sent the reminder 🙄

@FanofLeaves reading through your posts again, I think you need to be more affirmative in your communication with the parents.
Our babysitters:

• state their payment methods
• state their prices (incl additional charges for late evening/nights, I think that might be better than charging for an Uber?)
• state their stating times (and end times if they have any but that's rarer)
• although I disagree with it, if you expect a meal because of work etc, then just say it!

Many times we have had to adapt our plans to our babysitters availability. And we know that if aren't flexible, they just won't work for us.

I definitely do need to state a timeframe for expecting payment. The food is no biggie, I’d never ask, I just really appreciate the families that think of that or tell me to help myself (and they have actual food I can eat) this family are good on this front.

If I employed a female babysitter, I would 100% make sure they could get safely home. I live in South London and although I never feel particularly unsafe, it’s not on to expect someone to get themselves home with limited transport options in the middle of the night, so I’ll keep my Uber after 11 rule (and some families still insist on paying me for this even if it’s before 11)

I always state my rates upfront and make it clear that I prefer a bank transfer. I’ve had too many occasions where people haven’t got the cash out on the way home, or pay me whatever they have in in the house and I have to chase for the rest.

I tend to offer and ask if they will have eaten and if not can I pick them up anything from the shop but I wouldn’t just buy a pizza on the off chance they wanted it. I leave out snacks that are specifically for the babysitter and show them where the tea/coffee/coke is. This is the way it worked when I was a teenage babysitter!

I'm not hostile at all. I'm just pointing out that babysitting is a job just like any other job. I can't see why we treat babysitters differently to any other service provider. I'd offer anyone that came to my house tea/coffee, that's just polite, but anything else is an added bonus if you stop and really think about it. Name another job where the customer would be expected to provide free food and transportation...

I disagree.
i think it s great that tradepeople are organised and i can pay as soon as the job is finished then they send an invoice.

it s only awkward if you choose to find it awkward.

it s a very good system both for them and their client.

I wonder if they hope you will say - oh just make it up until midnight- when they stagger in at 1. They should pay promptly though and i would be less available for people who don’t. Maybe you could add a late fee to your invoice so additional £5 if not paid within 48 hrs.

The food thing is odd. You’re a professional if you’re charging £100 + uber for an evenings work, I would get in biscuits for a neighbours teen, but at that sort of cost I would expect you as an adult to make your own food arrangements based on your schedule . We don’t have snacky food, we don’t eat much bread or biscuits generally. I would tell you to help yourself to tea and coffee.

I don't think it is.

I think tea and coffee is basic hospitality not an open invitation to raid the kitchen.

We don't eat frozen pizza or have biscuits/chocolate in as a general rule so I would have to buy it in especially and I would resent being left with something none of us eat cluttering up our freezer/cupboards.

We usually cook from scratch and meal plan so there isn't a lot of random food going in our house, just our preferences.

I think also I find the idea that a babysitter should be grateful for permission to root around our kitchen for random bits of cheese a bit weird? If I was a babysitter (and I did babysit in my teens), I would much much rather bring something I know I like to eat than take my chances with whatever food my client has.

I’m torn on the paid taxi/Uber

im Se as a maternity nurse - I don’t charge my clients for t travel. I put that down as an expense on my tax return

whether train fare (rare) or travel costs via mileage /petrol costs and any ulez (now have ulez car) tunnel charges etx

so I do find it strange that families pay for the babysitters travel home

My take on the travel home thing is -

My personal preference is not to be on the hook for an unspecified amount of money. So I wouldn't want to agree just "covering a taxi home" - in London if they chose a black cab, that would cost a lot.

I also think that agreeing this with a babysitter means they are are then unlikely to bother even trying to make an alternative arrangement so it's likely to drive up the cost considerably.

What I want is someone who charges what they need to make it work for them so I can make an informed decision - eg if a babysitter wants to charge extra after 11 or midnight or whatever to cover a taxi, I would consider that if I liked the babysitter otherwise and overall it wasn't cost prohibitive

I don't feel responsible for the babysitters travel home - because I don't hire teenagers, I hire adult professional women and it would feel really patronising.

TBH (and I am in South London too) the market is competitive enough here that I probably wouldn't consider a babysitter who wanted me to provide food and transport because there are plenty of reliable good qualified folk who don't come with these asks.

ok, I don’t need the families to provide food and I certainly don’t specify that they need to provide before I agree to a job. I just think it’s nice to offer and I appreciate it when they think of this. Most do. Because they want to be hospitable for someone caring for their children over what it’s traditionally someone’s meal time.

All the jobs I do are within a 5 mile radius or so. There are no black cabs here, unless pre booked, but Uber is plentiful.

There is unfortunately no way of getting home from a few of the addresses I work at after 11:30pm or so unless the house happens to be on a night bus route or I walk. Most families would not be comfortable that a lone female would leave their house very late at night to go and see if there’s a night bus available, and so they are more than happy to agree to an uber so they know I got home safely. Good on them. It really isn’t patronising. I always mention that I don’t have a car when they approach me to work for them. The Uber is never going to be more than a tenner generally.

I can’t charge a taxi as an expense on my tax return because I am not self employed. I babysit for much needed extra cash because I work part time (as a nanny) at the moment while my son is little.

I am in no danger of not being booked in a competitive market, I turn down quite a few jobs as I don’t want to be working every weekend. I am sure the families I work for could get a cheaper babysitter who doesn’t care about how they get home at 1am but most are grateful that someone with 15 years childcare experience under their belt is responsible for their kids while they go out and have a nice time.

I pay by Revolut and I usually send it while I'm in the taxi enroute home. Good reliable babysitters are hard to find around here so I appreciate my one

when you confirm the booking, give them your bank details and state in the message that you expect to be paid on the day

state the fee for the time booked, and the hourly amount for if they return late.
give them an estimate of the uber fee - and either let them pay on the estimated amount, or make a separate payment for the uber when you send the receipt. Or let them book and pay for the uber.

and it is a service that they have booked and they are paying for - I really don't see the problem with reminding them about the payment while you are waiting for the car to arrive.

fanofleaves

for living in south London you’re very economical as a babysitter.

I’d be expecting to pay more than you’re charging.

I do charge differ prices for my families as they are different ages.

you might want to let your families know you are very well priced and those that pay late, increase the price come April when NMW rises

I do charge less than my hourly nanny rate as it’s not really the same job, mostly it’s about 2 hours work entertaining the children and feeding them and putting them to bed, then keeping an ear out reading or watching tv. And I never go through Bubble as a lot of parents on there want the cheapest rate possible and Bubble takes a cut from me from that!

I think £15 an hour is fair (plus uber if after 11 🤣) but I would consider charging more for daytime care. My nanny rate is £21 an hour (but that comes in at about £17 net)

A teen it would be cash in hand, a professional service within 5 working days like any other contractor

Have only had a babysitter a couple of times but hadn’t occurred to me to do anything except stop at the cash point at some point that day. And I always round up just in case. I babysat for years but in the cash era so never waited for anything. If this is common I’d look for sumup or similar to avoid. And just quote for the hours before / after public transport as different rates to include your taxi fare when needed.