To think her comment was just unnecessary?

[CasaNOvayuck]

I met one of my partner’s female friends today for the first time and one of the first things she said was:

”oh this one (him) as ALWAYS been such a Casanova. I hope he’s going to pay me not to tell you some of the stories, because you won’t like them!”

Needless to say, everyone else at the table went very quiet and one of the other people even told her it was inappropriate.

We laughed it off. He’s in his 40s and we all have a past. But what an odd and unnecessary thing to say to someone’s new partner!

(I know partner is an unpopular phrase here for newer relationships. I’m too old for “boyfriend” so you’ll have to forgive me).

I would have asked her if she's always such a stirrer

I don’t think this was it. She seemed very fond of him. It definitely gave me a little pause for thought when I stepped away to go to the loo though!

This.

How long have you known him?

About 8 months.

He was in a long term relationship for 6 years before me though so I don’t think it was a warning.

Do you know why they split up?

I don't think it's jealousy. I think that's a throw away explanation.

I'd just keep my eyes and ears open and see if you pick up on anything else. Just go steady until your sure.

I do and it’s nothing to do with another woman, etc.

Don’t do either of these things 🙄

It was clearly an awkward joke! Some people only open their mouths to swap feet when a little nervous. I hate meeting friends new partners. I never know what to say. I imagine she felt the same so made some cringy comment. In her head, she probably meant to big him up by making him sound like he was a catch but it came out wrong.

She is jealous and trying to ‘mark her territory’. Take it as a compliment as she obviously sees you as a threat.

“Oh I’m not bothered about the past, I always look to the future”.

I would say something like this if she tries that nonsense next time.

I would have laughed off her comment but I would have paused at his! He didn't say she's exaggerating, he just said it was a long time ago. So he has a dark past Casanova-wise... I'd need to know! 😀

She sounds like someone to watch out for

But it's not any of your business. We are all entitled to have a past and keep it private.

I already know many many of his stories though. He doesn’t seem to hide anything. Sometimes I wish I knew less! They’re stories from his 20s though. I’m not too worried.

My DH had a female colleague like this. We all worked in the same office, different departments, different floors though. Back when dating on a night out she took me to one side to painstakingly tell me how close they were. How she knew everything about him. How they went for lunch together etc. She made it sound like something else....

I was too immature at the time and I wound up kicking off with him.

Overall, I wound up making a tit of myself and allowing it to seep in.

I don't want to be a dick either but this girl was 'not his type' either. I don't know why I allowed myself to get so worked up. It wasn't just one night, she did it over a series of a work events and made out DH had been texting another female colleague at 2am. That's when I really lost it. He had indeed text this other colleague - but it was just a picture of him with another guy on a work night out who had flown in - that they both knew well with the words 'look who's just walked into the bar'. This colleague did not make it sound like this.

15yrs later I'm still embarrassed every time I think about it.

I still see this - now woman - She's still 'not anyone's type'. She's still single. She's still desperate for attention. Still making out I'm the crazy one. She knew exactly what she was doing though, unfortunately I allowed her to do it and I do have to be accountable for my part.

Dh and I are married, house bought, DC. The people present who I embarrassed myself infront of - probably still think I'm a lunatic from that time and while she didn't break our relationship- I wish I'd just smiled and said 'oh how nice' and walked back into the crowd and put my arm round DH and given him a big kiss and literally given it no more thought.

I'd had some previous experiences - been cheated on. I was deeply insecure at the time.

Live and learn.

She's hoping to scare you off.

Might be jealousy, might be she's seen him be a terrible bf, might be she just likes to stir and cause trouble for people.

Not much of a friend though.

Yeah, she’s into him.

Provided there are no signs he’s into her too, I’d just ignore her game-playing.

Ugh, she’s one of those women who can’t resist stirring. I suspect she’s like this when any of her male friends introduces a new girlfriend.

Sounds like she fancies him herself but knows no chance

She's doing the equivalent of a dog pissing up a lamp post.

I agree she is likely jealous or trying to prove how much longer SHE has known him for.

I had similar. My now DH and I met abroad where we worked. My 1st trip to the UK, we met for drinks with a group DH's old uni friends. 1 woman in the group sidled up and said 'You know he used to me MY boyfriend?'. No introduction, no hi etc!

They had indeed dated, 6yrs prior, for just 4 weeks! I later found out that she had dated every male in the group. Some woman love to try staking a claim- no matter how lame is it.

Saying "you have the confidence of a far more attractive woman” would make the OP sound a lot bitchier than the girl who first made the comment.

Awkward joke. I wouldn’t give it another thought.

It's banter come back with something witty.

It does and I’d never say it but I’m definitely filing it away for someone who actually deserves it one day!