To hate the whole SEND system and everyone in it and wish they would all sod off

[ASimpleLampoon]

Not really but I'm just fed up.

I have one child in mainstream school. Has a health issue, no diagnosis, support plan in place in school. Everything is fine. Model student , great relationship with school.

I have a child with multiple disabilities /issues in a SEND school , considered "complex" and I am just fed up with doing my best but it never being enough.

I'm fed up of worrying if he'll want to go on his transport every day , or if we all get a call to pick him up.

I'm fed up of checking the school app every day , and waiting in e afternoon if I'm going to get a call to say he's had a bad day.

I'm fed up of the endless paperwork, the endless meetings , the phone calls, re waiting lists the appointments.

I don't want to talk to a teacher or support worker or pediatrician or OT or SALT.

I just want to have a normal day where I don't have to share with strangers every intimate detail of my life.
I constantly feel scrutinised and judged and like nothing I do is enough.

Yet I no longer have a .career or any hope of working more than part time, my social life is limited , I do have friends I meet up with but nowhere near the freedom I'd have if I wasn't a carer.

I don't have a life outside of caring for my child, and in a way that's OK, I love him and would do anything for him and he's amazing..

But I think I'm going to scream if I have to fill in one more form or go to one more appointment or one more meeting or speak to one more professional

I'm a. Private person and I can't stand the constant intrusion.

Can you home educate? What do you do I the daytimes? Sounds stressful tbh waiting for their call etc I’d rather have your child at home if you can?

I work part time, and volunteer , I have friends I meet with.

I think home education would bring more not less problems, and more burn out for me. His school placement is fine, I'm just fed up with he SEND "lifestyle"

It sounds very very stressful. Are there any advocate type places that can help you or perhaps be an inbetween for all the admit work?

Admin**

Free services have long wait lists, paid for services not affordable

Okay not sure what advice you’re after but wish you all the best x

I've only had a fraction of what you've been through, but I understand. It's such hard work. It's hard for people to understand just how much it affects your life.

What sort of respite care is in place for your family? Do you access any?

I teach in specialist provision, my class are all complex needs within an SLD setting and I cannot begin to imagine how tough it might be at home some days. If you aren’t getting respite, can you talk to your welfare team at school?

its ok to just wish your life was “normal” It’s so exhausting. I’m sorry. It’s also the fear that it’s always going to be like this. Look after yourself. You’re not alone

I feel you. So much scrutiny and so far we've had so little help in return. Constant calls and appointments

It's absolutely exhausting seeing your child failed over and over again and fighting tooth and nail for them to have very reasonable adjustments to which they are entitled. It's then massively disheartening for people to then ask why you don't home educate.

I don't need to justify to people why it's not right for us, but why is the answer that I should stop working? Why isn't the first reply any king of solidarity instead of asking what the OP does with her days?

Not after advice, just someone who understands \ is going through the same.

What are you talking about?

please do show me where I said “why don’t you home educate?”

I said “can you?”

some people love being a professional victim, this isn’t even your thread my goodness haven’t you got better things to do?

Can you, why don't you. Pretty much the same thing.

🤣 not really is it. Goodness me. Get to bed!

Thanks. For the acknowledgement, and what you do for the kids.

( I don't really want anyone to sod off just feeling burnt out)

We get 3 hours per week.

My son is 21 - he has complex needs. I absolutely understand. I am also tired of form filling, meetings with the social worker, his support team, health care (actually getting health care), support staff still wanting 'mum' to fix things..please don't home educate. I find that people who have absolutely no idea of the stress of parenting a child with complex needs often suggest this as an option..you need respite (this also hardly exists and I just mean whilst your child is in school). I love my son but it is hard.

Thank you. Its a lot of work just to get the basics in life isn't it.

He has 3 hours but this takes place mid week after school.

To home educate would kill me, I'd feel completely trapped in my life and lose all identity of who I am. A friend suggested it to me once, like it was the answer to all prayers. People just don't have a clue. To me it would be the absolute last resort. We did online learning for a long time during covid (do not live in the UK) and I became quite ill with the stress of it.

It’s each to their own though isn’t it
nobody speaks for ALL Sen parents.

I'm just getting out of bed.

I have friends who do, and its the right option for them.

I would consider it if school placement broke down

Thanks

I am speaking for myself, and clearly a few others on here agree. Home education would be my last resort if the school can't meet his needs and do more harm than good.

I think it’s a very common feeling @ASimpleLampoon its a ghastly situation and I agree the meetings and admin are brutal.