DH sectioned - struggling to cope

[ResidentPike]

Hi all,

I don’t really know where to start. My DH has bipolar and has been struggling for a while, but things escalated massively last week, and he was sectioned under the Mental Health Act. I feel like I’m in shock. One minute he was home, not great but manageable, and the next he was in hospital, and I had MH professionals telling me he wasn’t safe. I knew he was unwell, but I still feel blindsided.

The DC are young (under 10), and I’m trying to keep things as normal as possible for them, but inside I feel like I’m crumbling. I swing between relief that he’s somewhere safe and being looked after, and absolute panic about what happens next. Will he get better? How long will this last? I’ve barely slept since it happened.

Has anyone else been through similar? How did you cope? I don’t want to offload too much onto family/friends, as they’re already worried. Just feeling very alone right now.

Any advice or hand-holding much appreciated.

That makes a lot of sense, thank you for explaining it. I guess his body is just completely drained after everything, and the meds are probably making him even more out of it. It’s reassuring to know this is kind of expected at this stage, even though it’s hard to see him like that.

20 minutes felt about right any longer and I think it would’ve just been me sitting there while he stared into space. I’ll see how he is next time and just take it as it comes.

I do have some people I can talk to, but I think I’m still just processing it all myself. It’s a lot. Just trying to keep things normal for the DC and not let my brain spiral too much.

Good shout on the books I took him one I know he likes, but he didn’t pick it up while I was there. Hopefully when he’s feeling a bit more with it, he’ll get into it. Snacks definitely seemed like a win though!

Well done on getting that first visit out of the way, your anxiety must have been sky high! It's a good idea to keep visits short for now. Your DH is recovering from a manic period and probably has hardly slept in the weeks leading up to his hospitalisation, no wonder he's exhausted. The meds he is taking may also cause him to have a flat emotionless affect. I bet he was glad to see you even if he didn't show it in his normal way. Look after yourself lovely, all this stress is exhausting for you too 💐

Have a look at some mindful activities. I've found them quite helpful over the years in processing things.
There's things like mindfully sitting and drinking a cup of tea focusing on the feel of the cup the heat of the steam taste of the tea, holding it in your mouth and feel it cooling. It can help ground you especially when things feel like they are changing.
I get on better with more active things and to give my brain time to stop I need to keep my hands busy and find colouring and puzzle books give me focus whilst my neurons do the shuffling of what's going on

@ResidentPike massive hugs. There is a community of carers and loved ones on Facebook that support each other that may be useful.

POPS UK - a private group for parents, family and friends of psychosis/Schizophrenia sufferers to connect, communicate and share resources and experiences.

Yes, well done OP and fantastic idea to take pictures from the dc - that clearly made a difference for him. He will remember and be thankful the effort when he's feeling better. Easy to say, but try not to worry too much, much of his current state will be due to the medication itself - it will wipe him out before it levels out. As others have said, mania itself is utterly exhausting. Just know that he's in the best place, receiving the care and nutrition he needs and will hopefully be over the worst soon.

Thinking of you OP. I was sectioned 29 years ago for 28 days. I have never been sectioned since and have in fact been completely free of medication for 23 years now. I don't have many memories of that time as I was really unwell but I seem to remember there was support offered on discharge.

Thanks so much all, it really helps. My anxiety was through the roof before I went, but I’m glad I did it. Even though he didn’t say much, I think just being there meant something.

The DC stayed with my friend while I visited and made him a card, which is very sweet, though I’m not sure he’ll appreciate the generous amount of glitter they covered it in! I’ll definitely take in more pictures from the DC next time. He did look at the ones I brought, and even though he didn’t say much about them, I think it helped in some way. They’re always drawing, so I’ll just keep bringing new ones each visit.

I really need to find something to help me switch off a bit. Love the idea of mindful activities I think I need something that actually focuses my brain instead of just doom-scrolling. Maybe puzzles or colouring, something simple to keep my hands busy.

Planning another early night tonight to try and get on top of things for the week ahead. Just taking things day by day right now. It’s a lot, but I know he’s in the right place, and that’s what I’m holding onto.

Even though he didn’t say much, I think just being there meant something

Almost certainly. As PP said, he’ll be exhausted from the mania comedown and, depending on what state he was in when he arrived, they might have given him a fast-acting drug like haloperidol to calm him down which leaves you feeling very out of it. I was injected with it a few times and I remember people being around me and appreciating them talking to me, but I was too tired to form a sentence and spent a lot of time staring into space. I seem to recall it took a couple of days to feel ‘with it’ again.

It sounds like you’re handling it really well and doing all the right things. I hope you’re able to have a restful night.

Sending you lots of love @ResidentPike, I've been where you are when my DP (now my DH) was sectioned a few years ago, it's a very scary thing to go through.

It deteriorated for him very rapidly too, although once he was actually in hospital he came down very quickly with the medication. It was a relief for me at first and I had a couple of days break as the episode leading up to the section was so terrifying, but then I visited regularly - he was a bit confused at first but this gradually got better. As soon as he was allowed Section 17 leave I took him out whenever possible too.

Be prepared recovery may seem slow - after DH went so far up he went very down for a long time also and there will be a period of waiting for meds to fully start working there too - it was a very dark time for both of us but we are now a good few years on and DH has been religious about sticking to his meds and things are better than ever now.

Haven’t read the full thread and too tired now, just wanted to say that a few years ago I supported a friend during a MH crisis that resulted in her being sectioned. You DH is in the right place and will be able to access help much more quickly in hospital. He is being looked after by people who are experienced at dealing with exactly this sort of situation and know how to bring someone back from the brink so to speak. It is very scary and utterly draining trying to support someone through it though. Be kind to yourself and make sure you have people to talk to. It’s hard being in the supporting role. Big hugs.

my friend is fine now BTW 😃

Also don't beat yourself up about not picking up on the warning signs sooner, it starts so subtly and although it may be clear in hindsight it is very difficult to notice until you're at the stage where it just escalates through the roof!
DH decided to choose a bank holiday weekend for it to escalate too when most of the mental health team were off so there was an extra day of everything turning to shit.

I'd like to think I'd notice the signs were it to happen again but honestly I'm not sure as I was taken so off guard before.

Didn’t sleep great, but feeling a bit more rested at least. Thanks for all the reassurance it really helps to hear from people who’ve been through it. Makes sense that he’s so out of it, between the mania crash and whatever meds they’ve given him. He definitely seemed like he was just there but not really present. Hoping that lifts a bit over the next few days.

It’s weird, part of me feels relieved that he’s somewhere safe, but then the reality of it hits and it’s just a lot. Trying to prepare myself for the ups and downs of recovery it feels like it’s going to be a long road. Really encouraging to hear that things can get better long-term though.

And yeah, the warning signs thing I keep going over it in my head, wondering if I should have seen it coming sooner, but I guess you just don’t until it’s already spiralled. The last few weeks have been such a blur, I don’t even know when things properly tipped over. I suppose I’ll just have to learn from it for next time.

Going to try and take it easy today, maybe get out for a walk or something. Hopeful that he’ll be a bit more with it next time I see him.

It takes time to pick up the triggers some of them can be quite subtle. If I come home with fancy new notebooks and pens my partner raises an eyebrow and checks in with me. When manic I've had grand plans of writing books, recipe books, french phrase book (didn't speak French!) all sorts
For me there's a way I sit which is different when my mood is high I'm crouched like I'm ready to pounce. It's taken quite a bit of time to get here
Once it's beyond slightly high I'm really good at telling everyone yes slightly high nothing to worry about even when it's escalating. I can say the right things to the right people and the severity can fly under the radar

I was under the early intervention team for the first three years of my diagnosis. Once things had settled after an episode they did a debrief and I found that helpful. On e he's on the road to recovery it might be worth asking about a joint session with a member of his care team to go through what happened and the different warning signs and what action plan he has in place.

It's a learning curve and at times a steep learning curve but you don't have to have it figured out over night. I just set myself the goal of learning one new thing each episode. I don't have to get it perfectly right but if I could do one small thing that was better than last time it was encouragement that I'm learning and heading in the right direction.

When my Dad was terminally ill and I was spending long long days in the hospice, someone on here advised me to download some mindless games like crosswords/Bubble Witch Saga/Candy Crush sort of thing and actually it did really help pass time when I needed something else to focus on. My brain couldn't cope with reading or taking any form of information in but a game worked wonders! I found the first visit to see Mum was terrifying but much easier to go back afterwards. Mum was sectioned/in a secure unit for about 3 months, the medication she was on took some time to level her out and when she came home, she was a stranger for a long time but we all got there in the end. This will be a long road, so the more you look after yourself now, the better.

How are you doing resident Pike?