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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Are you happy to spend a day doing nothing?

175 replies

ForZanyAquaViewer · 22/03/2025 14:54

Just that, really. I have a fairly busy life, but I really relish a bit of ‘nothing’ time. Not leaving the house on a Sunday, reading my book and eating a takeaway is really quite heavenly.

I was discussing this with a friend and she was very much of the opinion that she’d feel horrible and guilty if she ‘wasted’ a whole day. The general feeling being that she needed to productive, get out and about, and do stuff. Every day.

I found this really interesting. There’s lots of different kinds of people, and that’s obviously fine. However, in this respect, are you a ‘could never waste a day’ person? Or a ‘happy to lounge’ person? (If you’re a person who would be happy to lounge only after doing stuff, then I’d consider you a ‘could never waste a whole day’ person).

YANBU: happy to lounge
YABU: could never ‘waste’ a whole day

OP posts:
wherearemypastnames · 22/03/2025 18:06

I would count a short walk as part of the rest though , a bit of yoga also

it’s my head that Mor ally needs the break

oviraptor21 · 22/03/2025 18:09

I'm one of the type that gets really angsty if I do nothing all day or spend the whole day at home even if that involves doing 'something'. I do envy those that can chill like this though!

TheHateIsNotGood · 22/03/2025 18:09

When I was younger I dismissed Zen as an excuse for being useless. Now I'm much older I embrace the Art of Doing Nothing as a rather valuable skill.

AcquadiP · 22/03/2025 18:21

I agree with you on this. In Italy, doing nothing - "dolce far niente" - is a philosophy which has been practiced since Roman times. It doesn't mean idleness but to make time to step away from being productive to savour the small things in life eg having a coffee whilst watching the world go by, smelling the flowers, watching the waves crash against the sea wall etc. Most of us have such busy lives that often we don't make time to do nothing and allow our minds and bodies to recharge. It took me a while to master it but I'm now a dolce far niente person. Today I've had a lie in, I've taken care of my dog, I've been reading a book and doing Wordle and numerical puzzles and I feel better for it.

Cynic17 · 22/03/2025 18:28

Sunday is usually my "nothing" day. Eight hours alone in the house, just reading and listening to the radio. Perfect! It's not a waste, it's a chance to relax, recharge and refresh. I wouldn't change it for the world.

Fiery30 · 22/03/2025 18:31

Yes absolutely. Could even do two! As long as I have basic groceries 😄

itsjustbiology · 22/03/2025 18:35

Just the one day?!!! I do nothing way more than that with no guilt what so ever!

LinedOverLatte · 22/03/2025 18:36

Oooh yes please! When my DCs were young I’d dream of ‘a day to do nothing all by myself’ so now that I can, I do!

Admittedly, I’ll often daydream about when the DCs were little, and wish I could be back there with them! It goes so fast and those days were precious.

WisePearlPoet · 22/03/2025 18:38

I rarely spend a day doing nothing but I can happily spend weeks doing very little

downhere · 22/03/2025 18:48

As my daughter and I spend weekdays getting up and out of the house for school & work, I love a lazy Saturday morning but would usually like to get her out at some point for a walk or to playground as otherwise she’ll get grumpy. If I was alone I would love to spend a day at home doing laundry and tidying whilst watching tv and listening to podcasts.

Kaftanesque · 22/03/2025 19:19

I'm a very active person .Always on the go.But every now and again I have a whole day of nothing. Today was one as I unexpectedly had a day to myself. Apart from walking the dogs I have pretty much sat on the sofa and binged a series and read my book.Even dinner was a lazy one whereas I usually cook from scratch.It resets me and having suffered bad viral fatigue years ago I now don't allow myself to burn out.

WildFlowerBees · 22/03/2025 19:26

Resting isn’t doing nothing, it’s taking time to look after yourself and your wellbeing. It’s important, I never feel guilty for taking care of myself for seemingly doing nothing. I knew someone who couldn’t do nothing always had to be out and about and she was always unwell. Someone once said if you don’t make time for your wellness you’ll have to make time for your illness. Wanky saying but I feel it’s true.

Willoo · 22/03/2025 19:32

Tangerinenets · 22/03/2025 14:55

Absolutely happy to do nothing once a week.

I’m happy to do nothing every day. If it wasn’t for work, that’s exactly what I’d do

marmiteandcheeseoncrumpetspls · 22/03/2025 19:35

I've had a nothing day today and bloody loved it!

In my defence I have sorted through the 'drawer of doom' which I've been putting off for years a long time.

Found premium bonds which I was bought when I was a baby, so am sat here thinking of all the ways I will spend my winnings! (Can only check for the last 6 months so need to call them on Monday)

LauderSyme · 22/03/2025 19:38

I am far too shamefully happy to spend time doing nothing. My dgm was always busy and felt guilty for being 'lazy' if she wasn't making herself useful. I didn't seem to get those genes unfortunately.

Tangled123 · 22/03/2025 19:39

I like to have the odd day for doing nothing to recharge but too many makes me feel guilty and unmotivated.

GreenMarigold · 22/03/2025 19:44

As long as everything is done then I’m happy to do nothing! Typically on my day off I’ll be busy getting stuff done for most of it then sit down to enjoy a quiet 30 mins at the end.

Whilst taking time out is nice at the time, I feel much more fulfilled after a busy day rather than a quiet one.

hattie43 · 23/03/2025 07:14

Sunday is my day to do nothing if I choose , no guilt at all.

Cuwins · 23/03/2025 07:23

I used to love days like that. Now I have a 3 year old so being at home is not peaceful and I find it much easier/nicer to get out. Hopefully one day it will happen again.

gannett · 23/03/2025 08:02

The premise of this thread is completely off base. No one on this thread is "doing nothing" unless you are actually just sitting at home vacantly staring at the walls.

Reading is doing something. So is watching a film. So is watching TV. So is watching sport. So is listening to music. Art and entertainment feed the soul and the mind. I can't think of a more productive way to spend a day than reading while listening to music all day.

I'm not sure why getting out of the house to go for a pointless circular walk is deemed to be "doing something" while reading at home is not? People who need to be "out and about" and think that if you're not, you're not being productive are very tiresome.

HeyThereDelila · 23/03/2025 08:10

No, I always need to go out and “do” something else I get itchy feet. We have a 6 year old and like him to have an outing, long walk or bike ride etc. Our house is quite small and we only have a back yard, not a garden; perhaps if we had a decent garden to play games or run around in I wouldn’t feel quite so cooped up.

Today is church then DS is going to a birthday party. Yesterday was an easy day watching a film, but still involved a bike ride/walk of about 3 miles up to the local Iron Age hill fort and back.

Don’t get me wrong, I love curling up on the sofa with a book and a slice of cake, but with an active DS there’s less time for that now!

Mummadeze · 23/03/2025 08:11

I get anxious at the thought of having nothing planned. I need structure in my day. I also hate being at home for a whole day, it just feels like such a waste. The only time I would do this is if I was ill.

PoctorDepper · 23/03/2025 08:40

Out of interest, while your husband is busy filling every moment with productivity, does it ever make you feel lazy? And if so, how do you get past it to enjoy your chill time? I love a lazy day but I just cannot do it if someone around me is busily cleaning/tidying/doing jobs they might think I should be doing etc. Ruins the fun.

FortyTwoDegrees · 23/03/2025 11:33

Mummadeze · 23/03/2025 08:11

I get anxious at the thought of having nothing planned. I need structure in my day. I also hate being at home for a whole day, it just feels like such a waste. The only time I would do this is if I was ill.

But you can have plans and structure, get things done, without needing to go out. For example cleaning your home, batch cooking, various hobbies... you could have a busy day at home! It's not "a waste" simply because your activities are inside your home.

Granted OP is talking about doing nothing, relaxing. Which I don't think is a waste of time either!

Personally I need to get out for a walk every day, but I enjoy that, and don't see time at home or relaxing as somehow wasted.

civilmars · 23/03/2025 11:54

But you can have plans and structure, get things done, without needing to go out. For example cleaning your home, batch cooking, various hobbies... you could have a busy day at home! It's not "a waste" simply because your activities are inside your home

Absolutely and I don't mind a busy day at home like that but a whole day sitting around reading or watching TV and then ordering takeaway - like the OP was describing, nah that's not for me

I was thinking about this thread earlier and it made me realise that for me personally I enjoy relaxing much more when it's in a short chunk of time, a whole day of it is just too unstructured for me. I read my book for an hour in bed yesterday afternoon and that was delightful but 8 hours of it, nah not for me