Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Nephew is 7, still uses dummy.

29 replies

Sockmate123 · 20/03/2025 23:13

Mother and sister roll their eyes if I mention it at all. Perfectly normal according to them and wont affect him long term! I know i can't change the situation. He's not my child. There has been no effort to even try to get him to give it up. They dip it in honey any time hes upset and give it to him. I think its ridiculous, detrimental to his health. I have to bite my tongue. Both can be quite passive aggressive, sister majorly defensive about almost everything 🙈

Just wondering general opinions on this

OP posts:
Lighttodark · 20/03/2025 23:30

That’s ridiculous and bad for his teeth.

AnneLovesGilbert · 20/03/2025 23:30

Does he go to the dentist?

Ponoka7 · 20/03/2025 23:35

So he has it just at home, not in school? Not many NT seven year olds would tolerate a dummy. I'd say that there's something else going on and they've chosen to not discuss it with you. Thumb sucking is worse than a dummy, so is sucking a security blanket etc. So it isn't as easy as 'take the dummy off him'.

Lanifers · 20/03/2025 23:38

Most 7 year olds would be embarrassed to have a dummy

offyoufuck · 20/03/2025 23:38

No it's not normal, but it's also none of your business.

AnnaQuayInTheUk · 20/03/2025 23:41

One of my friends daughter had a dummy until she was almost 7. I thought it was dreadful but never said anything.

Her daughter is now 30. She's an amazing, intelligent woman with a great career and a lovely husband. The dummy didn't harm her in the long run.

neonheart · 20/03/2025 23:41

Does he have disabilities? I can’t imagine a typical seven-year-old happily being pacified by a dummy :/

Stripeyanddotty · 20/03/2025 23:42

Your mother and sister need to educate themselves about dental hygiene and health,

Linux20 · 20/03/2025 23:43

offyoufuck · 20/03/2025 23:38

No it's not normal, but it's also none of your business.

This!

Original poster
Sockmate123 · 20/03/2025 23:46

neonheart · 20/03/2025 23:41

Does he have disabilities? I can’t imagine a typical seven-year-old happily being pacified by a dummy :/

No disabilities but incredibly 'babied'. Doesn't use proper words for things, will ask for a 'dinky' instead of a drink etc is actually quite bright but I dont know if he is wanting to stay a baby or the parents. They treat him as if he is about 4. He put his plate in the dishwasher the other day and they kept telling me hes 'so clever' 😂🙈

OP posts:
24Dogcuddler · 20/03/2025 23:49

Tricky when they don’t want to listen. There’s the book The Last Noo Noo about giving up a dummy. Obviously aimed at younger children.
As well as dental concerns he won’t be able to go on sleepovers or overnight trips away as he gets a bit older unless he manages to do without it.
There might be underlying reasons he is so attached to it though.

Original poster
Sockmate123 · 20/03/2025 23:49

Linux20 · 20/03/2025 23:43

This!

Show quote history

I said this myself in OP. I was wondering what other people generally think. No ND. I'm well aware of that, I have 2 ND children myself.

My mum & sister dismissed me on the couple of times I mentioned it that's its perfectly normal and lots of children the same.

I dont agree that that is the case.

OP posts:
Original poster
Sockmate123 · 20/03/2025 23:49

AnneLovesGilbert · 20/03/2025 23:30

Does he go to the dentist?

Never 🙈

OP posts:
Odras · 20/03/2025 23:50

It’s a worry but it has absolutely nothing to do with you.

the honey thing is awful, the poor pet will have awful teeth. The problem with long term dummy use at 7 is that is can impact the positioning of teeth. But there might be more going on and like I said it’s not your problem place to say.

Dontlletmedownbruce · 20/03/2025 23:53

If there is one thing I can't stand it's parents who baby their children. They might as well sit them down and say 'here's the thing.. we believe you are stupid and incompetent and we do not trust your ability in anything..' because that's exactly the message they are conveying.

You can't change what they do OP but you can be a good role model to the child. Speak in a normal way, expect him to be capable, ask his opinions on things and treat him with respect. If it arises you can tell him that most children his age don't use dummies, let him do what he wants with that information.

RamsestheDamned · 20/03/2025 23:53

DD had a dummy until age 7. Tried and tried for years before to get rid of it. No damage to her teeth whatsoever. She’s now 13. Also has presented with autism since way back then. It was clearly helping to regulate her. Still at this age has a blankie she can’t calm down without when she’s in meltdown

RamsestheDamned · 31/03/2025 23:57

DD had one until she was 7, not that I didn’t try to separate it from her for years beforehand. She’s suffered no ill effects with the development of her teeth. I know of a family member who had one until the age of 15!

RamsestheDamned · 31/03/2025 23:58

Ooh sorry, double posted! I thought it was a new thread 🙈

CroissantOfFur · 31/03/2025 23:58

offyoufuck · 20/03/2025 23:38

No it's not normal, but it's also none of your business.

True but I would be worried he would be teased at school.

CroissantOfFur · 31/03/2025 23:59

RamsestheDamned · 31/03/2025 23:57

DD had one until she was 7, not that I didn’t try to separate it from her for years beforehand. She’s suffered no ill effects with the development of her teeth. I know of a family member who had one until the age of 15!

15?!!! Sorry I would not have allowed that unless some developmental disability was at play.

RamsestheDamned · 01/04/2025 00:02

CroissantOfFur · 31/03/2025 23:59

15?!!! Sorry I would not have allowed that unless some developmental disability was at play.

Show quote history

I know. I thought 7 was bad enough and felt so guilty! No developmental disability at all. Regular teenage girl.

Calliopespa · 01/04/2025 00:09

RamsestheDamned · 31/03/2025 23:57

DD had one until she was 7, not that I didn’t try to separate it from her for years beforehand. She’s suffered no ill effects with the development of her teeth. I know of a family member who had one until the age of 15!

15!!!? Why bother giving up at that point🤷🏻‍♀️?

2JFDIYOLO · 01/04/2025 00:12

I'd stop giving your opinion to sister and mother.

But I'd be talking to him in an age appropriate way, give him things to do, suggest a dummy is more for toddlers. Then see if he decides for himself.

Calliopespa · 01/04/2025 00:12

CroissantOfFur · 31/03/2025 23:58

True but I would be worried he would be teased at school.

Show quote history

Do they know at school though? It might just be a home comfort.

I’m kind of divided. I didn’t give one to mine for all the teeth reasons on here, as well as speech development.

But in the bigger scheme …? 🤷🏻‍♀️

I think as we get older it’s easier to realise how many things we worried about that we could have just chilled about really.

Calliopespa · 01/04/2025 00:14

On balance I think my answer would be I’d probably worry if it were my child, but it’s not drastic enough to worry about a nephew if his mum isn’t bothered. She’s the one who will have to pay for the orthodontist - if it is indeed needed.

Swipe left for the next trending thread