I've worn make-up every day I've gone into the office for the past few years at my current workplace. I think I have the natural make-up look down and FINALLY found a light foundation (actually a tinted moisturiser) that matches my skin tone really well. I then just wear mascara, blush, bronzer and eyebrow tint. I've been wearing this for a few months.
My colleague pointed out on one occasion that I was wearing make-up and had my hair down. I thought this was weird as I always wear this make-up and it's not unusual for me to wear my hair down and styled. She's also made comments about me losing weight (pretty normal for a post break-up glow up).
Well recently, in front of other people, she said she liked my make-up and then asked was I wearing it for any special reason. I said no, I always wear make-up to work. I was wearing my usual make-up and nothing heavier than normal.
This colleague has said a few things about me becoming single in my thirties after a LTR. I've never been single in my working career (only at uni). So maybe I am particularly sensitive. BUT she's made me feel terrible about it and it's nearly like she's insinuating that I'm making myself look nice because I'm interested in men at work. Our company is relatively small and most people are in relationships. I would never never never never never be interested in anyone single or not (I'm strongly against cheating) or put my career at risk like that. It's baffling to me that she's insinuating this as I would never consider it or have any desire.
She's asked if I would consider dating people at work, pointed out who's single and said 'when I talk to men at work, they relax once they realised I'm married'. Making me feel like if I'm seen chatting to men at work, people will assume I'm trying it on / a single woman talking to a man must be interested in him.
It feels like it's nearly every day with this colleague and I'm getting really tired of it. I just want to go into work and do my job. I do feel like I've been treated differently at work since I ended my LTR. Nearly like I'm so out of place if I'm not married at my age. It actually feels like it could be damaging to my career. Friends have suggested it might be in my head but the make-up comments are now making me think it might not be.
I never thought about the stigma women face for being single in their thirties or thought it was this bad. It's so sad as well that I've experienced it mainly from women. I'm so relieved to be out of my LTR (better single than dead if you know what I mean) so when I've faced these attitudes, I'm part incredulous, part disappointed, part having a chuckle to myself thinking if only you knew. As women, can we stop being so judgmental about whether a woman is in a relationship or has kids. Normalise being single. It's better for women be single than in a dangerous relationship and now we have the means to support ourselves and not rely on a man for an income/roof over our heads.