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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think all schools should ban the use of smartphones entirely during school day?

284 replies

90sseemedsomucheasier · 20/03/2025 12:52

I would welcome a ban on smartphones in my child’s secondary school.

At present, in my child’s school they are allowed to take them in, but the rule is that they are to be kept at in their bags and not be seen at all. I think they get a couple of behaviour points if seen, and if seen for a third time then it is confiscated.

I know that, had smartphones existed when I was in school, I would have been a master a checking it without getting caught. I would have been on social media, messaging my friends, secretly listening to music with one AirPod under my hair, looking up answers to questions I didn’t know. I’d have never got in trouble because I would have been stealth like in my use of it. But it would have distracted me, it would have called out to me all day. I’d be waiting for my next check of it and thinking about it. I would therefore not have worked as hard, or chatted to friends as much. It would have fed me a horrible narrative about what I should look like, what my life should be like, how everyone appeared better than me and I’d be full of anxiety and not feel good enough.

This is what is happening to our children today. They don’t have the strength to stay away from them - they may not be seen doing it but they are constantly on them. Even the best behaved kids.

Even if teachers do notice a child having a quick look at their phone, they’ve got so much other stuff to do with the demands of their job - are they going to challenge the child and make more work for themselves or are they going to pretend they haven’t seen it.

Children take secret photos and videos and send them to one another to ridicule and bully. Inappropriate contest is airdropped and shared via WhatsApp groups.

As a parent, I am on it with internet safety (as is dh). We use parental control tools and my year 7 child is not allowed social media,free access to the internet and we monitor their use of their phone each evening. There are screen time limits and phone switches of at 7pm and is not allowed in bedroom.

I often feel like we are going against the grain in doing this. I feel alone and like other parents don’t see the issue with handing our children a device where they can access ANYTHING and absolutely will access anything because they are naturally curious. Curiosity is normal, but the level of information, the horrors, the ideologies and the algorithms that form as a result are not. They are extremely damaging.

I know, when I look online (I know, the irony) that there are other parents that feel the same way. But it is hard in real life. When you’re child goes to secondary school and makes new friends who went to a different primary you have no idea what their parents, and their parenting choices, are like.

Whilst I know my child is safe online in my home, I don’t know when I send them out to school. They can be exposed to all sorts of horrors / porn / ideologies because other parents send their child to school with unrestricted smartphones, whether that is because they don’t understand the dangers, or simply do not care.

do any other parents agree with me that schools should be made to ban smartphones entirely? And by ban I mean asking students to hand them in - either a locker or a faraday pouch on arrival. I get that they are a part of life and needed for safety on journey to and from school (although I would argue that for many they don’t actually even need it for that!). But during school hours they simply do not need them and should not have access to them.

This has been rolled out in some schools already and the benefits are already being seen. I would welcome it in a heartbeat if my child’s school did this!!

What do you think? Would really love to hear people’s opinions -

YABU - children should be allowed access to their phones throughout the school day

YANBU - all schools should ban smartphone access on school sites entirely by asking students to leave them at home, place them in a phone locker or in a faraday pouch

OP posts:
Ddakji · 20/03/2025 14:19

kingcake · 20/03/2025 14:14

I don't want to work together with a collective of adults who may have values different to mine. I am in charge of raising my child and I don't like schools and the government encroaching on that. Phones put away in bags and out of sight is fine. Having them confiscated every morning is just another one of these measures that is starting to make schools feel more like prisons.

Well, that sounds like home-schooling would be better for you.

Schools aren’t a democracy. They get to set the rules and if you choose to send your child there you abide by them. If you don’t like them, join the PTA and make your voice heard through the correct channels.

Coconutter24 · 20/03/2025 14:20

At present, in my child’s school they are allowed to take them in, but the rule is that they are to be kept at in their bags and not be seen at all. I think they get a couple of behaviour points if seen, and if seen for a third time then it is confiscated.

So the school do have something in place to say they shouldn’t be out or used.
I voted YABU because as a parent we could just tell your children to leave their phones at home instead of putting this on schools like they should be doing more.

isthesolution · 20/03/2025 14:22

Yes they absolutely need banning!!!

snugasbuginarug · 20/03/2025 14:26

kingcake · 20/03/2025 14:14

I don't want to work together with a collective of adults who may have values different to mine. I am in charge of raising my child and I don't like schools and the government encroaching on that. Phones put away in bags and out of sight is fine. Having them confiscated every morning is just another one of these measures that is starting to make schools feel more like prisons.

That’s fine until it’s your child all over social media filmed by little thugs ridiculing him in one way or another. Or on the way home, he is watching porn, self harm, drug abuse, hate speech on the ‘edgier’ child’s phone (whose cool parents trust him fully or don’t know how to restrict access) before he realises what’s what or if he should be saying no.
Giving your responsible, sensible child the freedom, also gives it to many others who are really not ready for it.

OldTiredMum1976 · 20/03/2025 14:28

ShaunaSadeki · 20/03/2025 14:02

@OldTiredMum1976 not being snarky here, genuinely trying to understand: How does it take so much time if it is case of: if you see a phone it is taken away immediately and for the amount of time in the behaviour policy. Don’t they soon learn?

I mean it took DD losing it until the end of day, then overnight, then for 3 days with us removing home devices as well for her to learn.

But surely if they are confiscated so often there can’t be many left to confiscate?

I am in no way saying you should have to deal with this and especially not having to be the one to contact dickhead parents btw.

I just always thought the confiscation rule was fairly middle of the road and sensible. One thing I will say is there absolutely wouldn’t be any back chat at DDs school, that would not be tolerated.

Because a phone comes out and something is shown to another child…then there’s laughter or fallings out but which you have to deal with as well as confiscated the phone. Then there’s backchat, refusing to give the phone, having to call for assistance etc.etc. And before you know it the lesson has gone. There’s also phones buzzing and ringing and pinging all through the lessons which then have to be located.

kingcake · 20/03/2025 14:28

Ddakji · 20/03/2025 14:19

Well, that sounds like home-schooling would be better for you.

Schools aren’t a democracy. They get to set the rules and if you choose to send your child there you abide by them. If you don’t like them, join the PTA and make your voice heard through the correct channels.

I absolutely would home school if our school were confiscating phones, not letting kids use the toilet, pushing the trans agenda, and doing other things I read about on here that I think push the boundaries of personal freedom. But right now our school is not doing those things, possibly due in part to my being on the PTA and contributing those opinions. Phones are awful for kids in a lot of ways, but it's up to me as a parent to address it with my child in a way that works best for us based on the specifics of our situation, as is the case with everyone. I don't like authoritarian bans.

snugasbuginarug · 20/03/2025 14:31

People saying we cannot have a blanket ban because you can’t implement it remind me a little bit of people in the USA who cannot imagine having guns banned, even though the rest of the world is already doing it successfully…

Of course, it can be done. We just need to decide.

SE20schools · 20/03/2025 14:31

Wildflowers99 · 20/03/2025 13:32

You can get a handheld device for insulin monitoring. I’ve got one. The battery lasts a lot longer.

This is true, but parents can't monitor from their phones/afar unless the kid has a smart phone. So T1Ds need a phone until the diabetic tech catches up and allows the Follow app to function without a phone. Until then, phones must be allowed for medical reasons

GoneOffTheRails · 20/03/2025 14:32

OldTiredMum1976 · 20/03/2025 13:53

FFS!! I give up! No wonder most of our schools are failing children with parents like this. I will say it very slowly….

YOUR child may only have a quick check at lunchtime….but most of the children won’t. They will be out of bags, wasting teacher’s time having to police them, confiscate them, contacting parents etc. I teach maths and EVERY lesson in every state school I supply in has phone issues. I can spend from 10% to 100% of the lesson time dealing with it. I then go and supply in the private schools and 0% of every lesson is spent dealing with it. Can you spot the difference??? Parents with this stupid attitude are only harming their own children. Your child may be sat there like a paradigm of virtue with no phone to be seen (they aren’t by the way) but the rest of the class aren’t! And so your child isn’t able to learn.

Edited

EVERY lesson in every state school I supply in has phone issues. I can spend from 10% to 100% of the lesson time dealing with it. I then go and supply in the private schools and 0% of every lesson is spent dealing with it. Can you spot the difference???

Wealthy people are better parents than those who can’t afford private school fees?

Tiswa · 20/03/2025 14:41

snugasbuginarug · 20/03/2025 14:31

People saying we cannot have a blanket ban because you can’t implement it remind me a little bit of people in the USA who cannot imagine having guns banned, even though the rest of the world is already doing it successfully…

Of course, it can be done. We just need to decide.

well no because

(a) there isn’t a blanket ban on guns

and more importantly

(b) it is around the buying of them.

(c) you need the public behind it - it’s why a ban in the US doesn’t work. You would need parent backing and at the moment I don’t think that exists
yes we could ban mobile phones but in order to manage it it would be an overall ban

PonkyPonky · 20/03/2025 14:41

I would support them being handed in when they arrive then given back at the end of the day but not a complete ban. My brother was badly beaten by bullies as a teenager and he had to wait for help while his friend ran to the nearest phone box, luckily had the 20p required and knew our landline number to call our mum for help. That situation would be better with mobiles. There’s a lot of buses not showing up, young people walking home alone etc, that would all be helped with phones. Surely it’s better to teach when it is and isn’t appropriate use than to just ban altogether.

snugasbuginarug · 20/03/2025 14:46

@tiswa
You’re right, of course. I think you get the gist of what I’m saying.
We need to focus on getting the parents’ backing - absolutely. Hopefully threads like that are helping.

EmeraldShamrock000 · 20/03/2025 14:47

Parents need to respect the school policies, when they don't, the children won't.

Confiscating for one day wouldn't be a deterrent, if DD was caught on her phone, losing it for 3 days, that is her problem. She is aware of the consequences.

Don't use it, if you don't want to lose it.

Parents are at fault.

ShaunaSadeki · 20/03/2025 14:52

Thank you @OldTiredMum1976!

Parker231 · 20/03/2025 14:53

EmeraldShamrock000 · 20/03/2025 14:47

Parents need to respect the school policies, when they don't, the children won't.

Confiscating for one day wouldn't be a deterrent, if DD was caught on her phone, losing it for 3 days, that is her problem. She is aware of the consequences.

Don't use it, if you don't want to lose it.

Parents are at fault.

Edited

Agree - DT’s knew the school rules and if their phones were confiscated for a week and I had to go into school to collect it at the end of week - their problem being without a phone!

Tiswa · 20/03/2025 14:57

snugasbuginarug · 20/03/2025 14:46

@tiswa
You’re right, of course. I think you get the gist of what I’m saying.
We need to focus on getting the parents’ backing - absolutely. Hopefully threads like that are helping.

And I just don’t think that will happen in tje state system!

snugasbuginarug · 20/03/2025 15:04

@tiswapeople should say what they want to happen and not be quiet because they don’t think it could happen, right?
I actually think most parents are just giving in to peer pressure (other parents) rather than thinking it’s the right thing to do.

OldTiredMum1976 · 20/03/2025 15:07

GoneOffTheRails · 20/03/2025 14:32

EVERY lesson in every state school I supply in has phone issues. I can spend from 10% to 100% of the lesson time dealing with it. I then go and supply in the private schools and 0% of every lesson is spent dealing with it. Can you spot the difference???

Wealthy people are better parents than those who can’t afford private school fees?

Try and actually read my posts 🙄and removing that large chip from your shoulder. It has nothing to do with parenting apart from the fact that the parents at private school agree to the phones being locked up every day or they choose another school. The phones in private schools are locked away all day! This means that I don’t have to deal with them at all in lessons.

Honestly, if you have read the thread and your takeaway was that then there really is no hope. Absolutely stupid.

GoneOffTheRails · 20/03/2025 15:12

OldTiredMum1976 · 20/03/2025 15:07

Try and actually read my posts 🙄and removing that large chip from your shoulder. It has nothing to do with parenting apart from the fact that the parents at private school agree to the phones being locked up every day or they choose another school. The phones in private schools are locked away all day! This means that I don’t have to deal with them at all in lessons.

Honestly, if you have read the thread and your takeaway was that then there really is no hope. Absolutely stupid.

You’re very rude.

OldTiredMum1976 · 20/03/2025 15:13

GoneOffTheRails · 20/03/2025 15:12

You’re very rude.

Well you’re also very rude for not bothering to read the thread before storming in an accusing me of saying that wealthy parents are better than those with less money.

miniaturepixieonacid · 20/03/2025 15:17

They're almost completely banned where I teach. Exceptions are:

  • children who come to school on the school mini buses - they hand them in at reception at the start of the day, they get locked in a special phone safe and then given back to them at the end of the day (but that's only about 10 children out of 300)
  • boarders - but their phones stay on the boarding floor, they don't come down into the main school. They are locked in the boarding office 95% of the time and the children get them for half an hour in the evenings then sign them back in.
  • The 1 child we have with T1D. He has had a phone since Year 3 and is now Year 8 and has never abused it. All he can do on it is monitor his levels and phone his parents if needed. No other apps or anything on it, It's not his 'social' phone, just a medical aid.
But our children age out of the school after Year 8 so it's much easier to control them.

I imagine it would be really, really hard to have it in your bag all day and not look at it once. I don't think I could do that and I'm 40! I'd be sneaking looks all the time.

FKAT · 20/03/2025 15:17

I don't want to work together with a collective of adults who may have values different to mine.

😂

Oh my Christ.

TheSippyCupSociety · 20/03/2025 15:19

Eyerollexpert · 20/03/2025 13:04

Most high schools in our area already have banned them . Hand in before lessons collect after.

I absolutely would not trust my sons school with his phone

kingcake · 20/03/2025 15:22

FKAT · 20/03/2025 15:17

I don't want to work together with a collective of adults who may have values different to mine.

😂

Oh my Christ.

Why not argue your point rather than just sneer at mine? When it comes to decisions made about the upbringing of my child, I don't want to share decision making powers with institutions.

UnPetitCochon · 20/03/2025 15:24

My children’s school collects them in the morning and gives them back at the end of the day. They moved afternoon registration to the end of the school day to accommodate this.