Social media is destroying my relationship

[fortheloveofbooksandchocolate]

I’ve been with my boyfriend a few years and we recently had a baby together 5 months ago.
(Before anyone bashes me, I know I have issues and I am addressing them).
I am a very insecure woman. I am uncomfortable with the notion of my partner “liking” other girls photos (to me it’s like he wants to let her her know she looks nice, or that he noticed her)… I won’t explain my reasoning any further, some get it and some don’t).

When we first got together I would see him liking lots of girls photos on Instagram (we met at work so we know some of the same people), specifically girls in their swimwear etc but not always, sometimes just a selfie... It caused a heated discussion and I explained I’m uncomfortable and he said he wouldn’t like it if I was liking men’s photos either so he said he wouldn’t do it again.
I believed him.
I noticed a few times he had done it again, and would ask him why after he said he wouldn’t, and he would first get a bit pissed off at me, then he would remove the like from the photo and say he wouldn’t do it again…
(I know this sounds childish, we are in our 30/40s!! But it’s just unnecessary).
I asked to use his phone for a torch a few months ago to change the baby at night, and as I unlocked his phone, his Instagram was up on a page FULLLLL of semi naked women.
I asked why he was looking at that profile and he said “I don’t know, I was curious and because I’m stupid” and he assured me he would never do it again…
Fast forward to just now and I’m on Instagram, a follow suggestion came up, I don’t know the girl and don’t follow her, but I saw he follows her (a newish follow as his account is fairly new a few years old, and he had hardly followed anyone but now he starts to follow more people - fair enough), so curiously I went to have a look who she is (because as I said… issues🥺) and low and behold he’s liked her photos and the latest one is only from last month but some from two years ago, so he’s obviously scrolled down and liked them.
I’m MORE upset at the fact he has told me time and time again he won’t do it and that he knows it bothers me, he wouldn’t like it if the shoe was on the other foot, etc, and he is still doing it.
I just find it so disrespectful. It’s not hard to NOT press the little heart????? He obviously didn’t think I’d see it, as I don’t actually follow the girl myself… but her profile is public.

He is at work at the moment so I can’t very well confront him yet. Or should I leave it? I’m so angry on the inside, I just feel like he doesn’t consider my feelings and tbh I feel like a massive mug.

No hate please, I know it sounds stupid

[Edit: he is on his phone all the time these days yes never watches any reels I send him anymore, he hardly went on his phone or social media when we first got together. Maybe he’s bored of me]

A 40-year old man with social media activity? This is beyond normal. He needs to address that.

The problem is OP you've addressed this over and over, he says what you want to hear and then starts doing it again anyway. Why would you think anything will change this time? You have to make a choice IMO, you either decide to put up with it or you end the relationship. Anything else is just going to leave you unhappy IMO.

You're not insecure. He's just a disrespectful twat.

This. Stop apologising for why it bothers you and why you feel like you need to check

It bothers you because it’s rude, it’s him choosing to spend time looking at and interacting with random half dressed women instead of time with you, and you’ve told him how it makes you feel and he’s still doing it.

Tell him it’s either the pictures or you.

OP, ffs stop blaming yourself for being "insecure". It is within your right not to like what he is doing - a lot of women would not tolerate it, I would not tolerate it. Because, believe me, there is more to it than meets the eye. He likes their photo to get their attention, he probably writes to them, too. Who knows what else is going on there.

No amount of talking and explaining will change his behaviour. He knows you blame yourself. He knows what he is doing. He likes the way things are now. He doesn't care about you being upset. He knows you will whine, cry, but would not leave.

You can either accept it, or leave him. Dont degrade yourself by blaming your insecurity and then trying to "explain" stuff to someone who knows perfectly well that what he is doing is not on.

I agree. You will never stop a man appreciating a fine looking woman (why would you want to?) Similarly women like to look at fine looking men. It's nature.
But "liking" them seems a bit juvenile and unncessary to me especially as OP doesn't like it. It's one thing looking but liking just seems odd.
BTW Find any sexy ginger men ??!!

Well he’s right when he says there’s no relationship if there’s no trust. But he clearly has no intention of stopping perving over random women on SM.

I would just dump him but I am old and cynical.