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Original poster

Confidence knocked on the road this evening how to move past it

48 replies

FishCake17 · 19/03/2025 23:15

I am a new driver. Today, I had a motor bike in front of me and there was a few cars up a bit further ahead. I was driving the speed limit whilst giving the motor bike in front space. I had a man in the car behind me tailgating extremely dangerously close to my car. He was doing this for a while up the road and slamming his breaks on, I looked in the mirror and it looked like he was going to hit my car a few times he was that close and he didn’t back off. I felt really nervous and it put me on edge. We then approached some traffic lights (cross roads). A few cars in front again and the motorbike. It turned to green, the cars in front went straight ahead, I was turning right, so was the motor bike. I indicated that I was turning right and moved off but held back to allow the motor bike to do his turn, all of a sudden the tailgater moved over a bit to my right as I was doing my turn, looking like he was trying to cut me up and turn in front of me. I turned as I’d already started to and he went back in. He then tailgated some more, I looked in my mirror and he was waving his arms around and shouting. Again, I was just doing the speed limit and still had the motor bike infront so there was no where I could go anyway. The motor bike started slowing so I did and I looked in my mirror again, and he shouted ‘what the fuck are you doing’ with an aggressive look on his face. I indicated and safely turned off then down a side road because I didn’t want him behind me anymore. He then preceded to turn his head to follow my car and I watched him glare at me through the mirror. It’s knocked my confidence as a new driver, I wasn’t doing anything wrong, just going at the speed limit, and I had other vehicles infront anyway so I couldn’t speed up or go anywhere even if I could have. How can I move on and not let this effect my confidence?

OP posts:
BellissimoGecko · 19/03/2025 23:23

He was a dickhead. A dangerous dickhead who’s a terrible driver. You will meet them on the roads…

You did nothing wrong. Forget about him and carry on as normal.

Justme2023123 · 19/03/2025 23:24

It sounds like you did everything right, but unfortunately encountered a twat, of which there are many on the roads.
You just have to keep at it. I can't say you'll ever not react at having a bully behind you, but you've got to keep driving anyway.

LikeSeriously · 19/03/2025 23:24

The man is a complete wanker for doing that. Just try and ignore it. My daughter passed her test last year and I was shocked at the behaviour towards a learning driver. You did the right thing by pulling off the road. You were driving perfectly and breaking no rules. Just ignore him, not worth your worry😊

lactofree · 19/03/2025 23:26

I slow down when somebody is too close to me

Original poster
FishCake17 · 19/03/2025 23:29

Thank you. Just made me feel really on edge and I felt like he was going to hit my car a few times and I really don’t understand why as he must have known that there was a motorbike/cars in front

OP posts:
GinAndJuice99 · 19/03/2025 23:29

It just shows that men shouldn't be allowed to drive. In time you'll hopefully you'll feel comfortable slowing down and annoying him further

Triakne · 19/03/2025 23:29

These kind of experiences are horrible as a new driver, but from your description you did nothing wrong. It was all him, he was an impatient idiot. Unfortunately you will meet people like him from time to time.
I've been driving 30 years nearly and still get them from time to time. It's really unpleasant. I just turn off the road or pull over, I figure I'm safer with the road rage idiot in front of me.
Please try not to let it rattle you. Just keep on driving and doing your thing. Don't let the idiots get to you.

TheodoraCrumpet · 19/03/2025 23:33

There are lots of wankers on the road. You'll learn not to be fazed by them in time. I let them past if I can pull over, but I never let them pressure me into speeding up when I'm already at the speed limit.

Lassango · 19/03/2025 23:36

If I get a tailgater I turn my interior mirror away from me so that I cannot see them.

Lassango · 19/03/2025 23:38

lactofree · 19/03/2025 23:26

I slow down when somebody is too close to me

This is another reasonable adjustment. As the saying goes

'If your distance is not appropriate for our speed, I will make our speed appropriate for your distance'

SpottedDonkey · 19/03/2025 23:39

This is one of the unfortunate realities of driving OP. Sad inadequate little men with anger issues. It’s not about you. You did absolutely nothing wrong, he is the problem, not your driving.

It sounds like you handled the situation really well, OP, so give yourself a pat on the back, forget about Mr Dickhead & carry on driving.

Emptyandsad · 19/03/2025 23:40

GinAndJuice99 · 19/03/2025 23:29

It just shows that men shouldn't be allowed to drive. In time you'll hopefully you'll feel comfortable slowing down and annoying him further

It just shows that men shouldn't be allowed to drive

That's a little bit of a stretch!

There a plenty of arses on the road and it's true that most of them (but by no means all) are men. They're like stags rutting and clashing antlers. Pulling out of their way and letting them get on with their shithousery without you is a wise decision. Because they're unpredictable and dangerous

LittleCharlotte · 19/03/2025 23:51

Get a dashcam. They're cheap and someone being filmed will think twice before behaving badly.

You were driving just fine. He was an arse who wanted to scare you and sensed he was doing it. If that happens again, drive at the speed with which you are comfortable and ignore the angry man ... Or give him a little smile and a wave just before turning off.

Ebeneser · 20/03/2025 00:30

LittleCharlotte · 19/03/2025 23:51

Get a dashcam. They're cheap and someone being filmed will think twice before behaving badly.

You were driving just fine. He was an arse who wanted to scare you and sensed he was doing it. If that happens again, drive at the speed with which you are comfortable and ignore the angry man ... Or give him a little smile and a wave just before turning off.

Yes this @FishCake17
Get yourself a dashcam that records front and rear. Then if anything like this happens again you can review the footage and report it. It can also be used as a learning tool if you think you've made a mistake and could have done something better, just review the footage and check if there's anything you missed/could have avoided/approached differently etc.

BereftBeyondBelief · 20/03/2025 00:40

Ah, you have met Mr Smallcock.
It sounds to me as if you did everything right. Don’t let the odd idiot intimidate you.

ScottBakula · 20/03/2025 00:41

GinAndJuice99 · 19/03/2025 23:29

It just shows that men shouldn't be allowed to drive. In time you'll hopefully you'll feel comfortable slowing down and annoying him further

Half of the population can not drive ? If someone said this about women they'd ( rightly) be torn to shreds

@FishCake17 , unfortunately their are some idiot drivers out there and you will come across them quite often.
You shouldn't have to pull over out of the way but sometimes it's the best / safest thing to do.

To boost your confidence and ability to deal with idiots I highly recommend taking extra driving courses.
There are lots out there but particularly motorway and night driving are really useful.

Oh and definitely get yourself a dashcam both front and rear facing

ARealitycheck · 20/03/2025 00:44

As others have said, he is a dickhead. You were keeping up with the vehicle in front so not travelling slowly. Ignore the twat and carry on driving as you do.

Devianinc · 20/03/2025 00:48

I know it’s hard but you just have to ignore these people. Drive safely

Caterina99 · 20/03/2025 00:54

Lots of drivers are knobs. You’ll come to learn that. There is no particular reason why, and it’s got nothing personally to do with you.

Your own safety is the most important thing. Just ignore anyone trying to hassle you. I regularly get stuck behind tractors, cyclists and presumably tourists doing less than 30mph on country roads. It’s annoying but I am considerate, keep a sensible distance and wait until it is safe to pass. The same cannot be said for all drivers!

GreenCandleWax · 20/03/2025 01:42

Triakne · 19/03/2025 23:29

These kind of experiences are horrible as a new driver, but from your description you did nothing wrong. It was all him, he was an impatient idiot. Unfortunately you will meet people like him from time to time.
I've been driving 30 years nearly and still get them from time to time. It's really unpleasant. I just turn off the road or pull over, I figure I'm safer with the road rage idiot in front of me.
Please try not to let it rattle you. Just keep on driving and doing your thing. Don't let the idiots get to you.

He was more than impatient. He was an angry bully, even following OP down a side road. You did exactly right OP, don't let him dent your confidence.

autisticbookworm · 20/03/2025 02:14

Awful isn’t it but unfortunately common. I remember once experiencing similar. The driver then over took me on a duel carriage way and proceeded to do 20 miles per hour on a fifty driving in the middle of the road so I couldn’t over take him. (As if I would have!) I think he thought he was teaching me a lesson. But I had been doing the speed limit!

postop · 20/03/2025 02:38

Front and rear cameras should be fitted to all cars IMO. So much road rage these days. I used to drive a lot for my work and so many angry men on the roads made driving very stressful. I have been driving more than 40 years and it is so much worse now.

EliflurtleAndTheInfiniteMadness · 20/03/2025 03:20

FishCake17 · 19/03/2025 23:29

Thank you. Just made me feel really on edge and I felt like he was going to hit my car a few times and I really don’t understand why as he must have known that there was a motorbike/cars in front

He wanted to intimidate you into getting out of his way, either getting you to pull over or to overtake the motor bike even If it was dangerous to do so. You did the right thing, drivers like this are massively entitled, just focus on driving safely and ignore as much as possible. I always keep an extra eye on entitled wankers like this.

SinnerBoy · 20/03/2025 07:40

Unfortunately, there are drivers like this, who will try to push others to speed up, probably hoping that there will be a domino effect as each driver speeds up to get away from the tailgater.

You did the right thing in staying at the limit and leaving the main road to let him get away. As others have advised, get a fore and aft dashcam, so that in future, you'll be able to report them, if necessary.

Finally, thanks for giving the bike plenty of room, I've been knocked off 3 times in 30 years, all impatient idiots.

BigTubOfLard · 20/03/2025 07:54

Ex driving instructor here. Many years ago I was coaxing a timid learner up a narrow street when a tailgater blasted us with his horn. Of course my learner panicked and stalled: cue more honking. "Okay Mr Suzuki, let's restart the car. Now I want you to drive as slowly as you can, practicing good clutch control." Dear readers, we crawled along the street with the rude driver going berserk behind us, honking non-stop but unable to get past. When we finally reached the end of the street he roared off to the sound of Mr Suzuki and myself laughing at him. Justice was served. 😋👍
Yes, you're going to meet some twats on the road but you handled yours just fine; keep on trucking.

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