It’s goodbye from me

[solongandthxforthefish]

I’ve been on mumsnet since the early days, it’s seen my family grow up and become adults, seen me become a grandparent.

its been a happy place, a supportive place through thick and thin and I’ve made lots of contacts who I will miss.

the supportive threads are being lost amongst ones of hatred and intolerance for difference, for the others and by threads about high incomes not being enough, of how disabled people are increasingly hated, how children with SEND are an inconvenience. Boomers, of which I am not one, are hated.

is there anybody mumsnet members actually like?

im taking a break, however long is needed until the hatred is less.

Stay in bed, mostly tbh!

But how does that work in practise? Can you do anything? Do you ever see anyone? Any friends? I can’t see how you don’t get PIP

The very fact that you don’t understand what this is referring to indicates that you are completely failing to understand the context. I will do you a favour this one time and explain. “Spoonie” is a term for disabled people, so I was in those groups for info and support (not just getting it, but giving it). I wasn’t automatically annoyed, I totally bought into the whole concept for ages. It was only with time that I learnt how toxic the spoonie approach is. If you want to learn more about it Google the spoon theory. But that’s just terminology, really it is an issue with almost any online disability community.

The fact that you don’t have experience of these groups and assumed I must have been seeking out conflict is an issue. On the contrary, I was just seeking community as a very sick young woman myself.

I'm not exaggerating. That's your uninformed perception of the situation. I wonder what made you so keen to jump to that conclusion?

I can't say they aren't strong painkillers because they are. I'm on controlled drugs.

I can do bits and bobs. It really depends on the day. I do see people when I can, yes. I have a lot of friends.

I can wash and dress myself most of the time. I can prepare a simple meal and I can walk. Not consistently, but enough that I only qualify for LWCRA.

Sure

I don't know what you think you're achieving here. You've not managed to persuade me that I'm exaggerating my physical condition or the medication I'm on, so what's been the point of all this?

So you thought you'd bring your annoyance at internet strangers over to Mumsnet and inflict it on other internet strangers?

Your attitude of "if you don't take my advice it's your fault you're suffering" went down like a lead balloon on the spoonie sites you were on. Instead of learning from the experience, you're repeating it here.

Seriously? "You won't listen to me so you must be lying?"

I repeat: can you hear yourself @verysmellyjelly?🙈

How old are you? I sense you’re quite young? Have you ever enjoyed life? Travelled? Worked?

I'm in my early forties. Yes, I used to have a very full life before this. I've travelled reasonably extensively and I had a fulfilling and exciting career before this.

lol, you really have no idea what you’re talking about. None of my comments are saying it’s PP’s fault. That’s something you’ve made up, I’m not sure why. How could a disability be her fault? Ridiculous idea. It is however up to her to find solutions for practical problems. Just like it is for everyone. No one’s disability is their fault but we all have to function in the same world.

It may be imperfect and wrong of me to be irritated by self pity, sure. If that’s a flaw, I own up to it. I don’t like this sort of exaggeration and “poor me” syndrome, and I’m very open about that, maybe due to my autism. You aren’t forced to reply to my comments if you hate them that much! But I have come to this perspective via years and years of experience and giving countless hours of support to other disabled people. And you don’t even know what “spoonie” means so I highly doubt you have a comparable level of experience regarding the kind of cultures online that I am talking about. If you did, you might well agree with me.

It sounds a very very depressing existence
good you have lots of friends
im guessing not married but any children?

@verysmellyjelly do you work?

No, I am unfortunately severely disabled.

I'm afraid I can't find a practical solution to food costing more than I have to spend on it.

So you heaped a lot of skepticism on the PP about her serious disability

I’m guessing you’re not going to elaborate any further on your disability but suffice to say…. You think it’s serious and worse than the PP

You started your own thread @verysmellyjelly asking mumsnet to delete your account because you were sick of the autistic hate.

And yet…. You’re here

I'm long divorced with a grown up child.

No, I avoid getting into depressive thinking about it. It was very mentally challenging at first, but I try to be optimistic about it these days. I can only do what I can do and getting angry or upset about it only makes my life more difficult.

That is impressive

because staying in bed all day and not being able to eat properly and having lots of hospital admissions sound thoroughly awful.

how long have you been like this? Was it difficult raising a child?

I did wonder about autism reading your posts@verysmellyjelly.

What is imperfect and wrong about your posts on this thread is that you are making out that a disabled person you don't know, who has medical history know nothing about is lying and self pitying. You are not helping this person, indeed you may be making it worse for them. Because you do not know them, you do not understand their situation.

People are different to you. People are different to other people from your past. You are not in any position to solve posters' problems. But you can make them worse.

Yeah it is quite hard, but we've all just got to get on with things. There are plenty of people worse off than me.

I haven't been unwell that long. Since about 2020ish? Maybe a bit earlier, but I was dismissing the signs because I didn't want to believe it.

Luckily it didn't affect my parenting, especially when DC was young and full of energy. We used to do loads of activities and have races and all sorts. I married in my early twenties because I always knew I wanted a baby. Which was fortunate timing so DC got the benefit of having a fit and strong mum.

I remember posters like cod.
I remember when a load of them
started up a new site ( invitation only )
It wasn’t very nice back then at all.
Much prefer it now.

They actually built an entirely new site for chatting?!

Yeah. And I’m still sore all these years later that I was ousted from the clique and wasn’t allowed to join. I mean, I did call one of them a cunt, but it was completely justified.