ive been reading all of these threads and I’ve been too worried to comment as I know the kind of bashing I will get. But I’m so scared of all these changes and really need some advice.. or to know I’m not alone. It will be long (sorry) to give context.
My daughter was born with an autoimmune disease (eosinophilic gastroenterocolitis) and she has been on DLA since she was 2 (now 16). At the time I was caring for her and my elderly father. I was doing a degree in the hopes when she could look after her condition a bit more when she was older I could return to work.
My Dad died and I threw myself into a Masters degree. During this time I met my now DH. We fell pregnant with our son. He has a Feto Maternal haemorrhage and lost 70% of his blood into me. He had a stroke and they diagnosed him with cerebral palsy. He said he might never walk.. but when he got to 18 months he did start walking and we were over the moon. We thought he was going to be ok.
I had completed my Masters and did very well, I was offered a place for PhD and I had been putting it off while DS was little. I fell pregnant again and we did want another - we thought because our first son was going to be fine, we would be able to handle it. DH has a good job and can earn good money. We decided to have the baby and when they both went to school I could return to study.
little did we know at that point my health would start to decline. We also didnt foresee our sons issues as the doctors had said only his mobility would be affected. He now has Cerebral palsy, epilepsy, ADHD and possibly autism. His epilepsy medications exacerbate these conditions and the household is a very stressful place. He also gets DLA.
I started getting recurrent pneumonias, allergic reactions, joint swelling, just lots of things I ignored (like you do as a mum). Until my hand was swollen twice the size. Long story short I’m battling my own autoimmune disease (lupus or rheumatoid) they think was triggered by my son bleeding into me. I’m on very strong immunosuppressants and it can be difficult to mobilise. Currently my hands are covered in blisters from the sun. It’s debilitating.
Obviously throughout all of this, my partner has been able to work less and less as he needs to provide more support at home. He works half the hours he used to.
Originally we had started saving for a mortgage. I had been renting privately for 10 years and we both wanted a forever home so we started to save in 2018.
in 2020, the first eviction happened. Our landlord was selling. As it was Covid and there was so very little on the market we were completely stuck. Council won’t house us. They advised us our best bet was to get another private rent otherwise we would end up in temporary housing indefinitely.
The amount of applicants to each house was awful. And obviously nobody wanted to take someone on benefits (at this time I was just my daughter’s carer) over other applicants both working. We were turned down and discriminated against time and time again. They’re not allowed but it happens.
People were literally trying to bribe letting agents with 20k cash and we couldn’t compete with that.
we were forced into a much higher rent (£1800) miles away from their schools. The commute was terrible and I was in and out of hospital at this time. This obviously ate into our savings.. especially as my partner couldn’t earn as much anymore.
within a year the landlord tried to increase the rent to £2000. We got it down to £1900 but then he told us he was selling up. We were getting evicted again. This time we had to cover all of his legal fees and it’s left us with nothing.
We were forced into a higher rent again.. in a horrible area.. not great house. They handed us the keys and gave me and my son gas poisoning. There’s mice in the garage. Landlord won’t repair anything. They even refused to have it cleaned before we moved in it was filthy. For £2000 a month. We are terrified of rent increases. Terrified of eviction again. My health can’t take another one.
we will never be able to save for the deposit with bills this high and there’s just nothing around and we are never chosen.
Our medical costs are ridiculous each month for the three of us with health issues. Especially my son with epilepsy equipment. But his DLA, my PIP and my daughter’s DLA has to go on the rent and bills.
Ive read so many posts on here people bashing benefit claimants so this was hard to write. We are completely trapped in the renting system. Completely trapped on benefits. We get our home ripped away from us every other year at the minute and the stress is crippling.
I don’t know how to get out of this situation. No one will or can help us. It’s awful.
I also thought it might make others feel better about their finances. We have nothing left over, always in the red. And we have to go without medical equipment and medications etc to pay the rent some months.
I guess I just had to get it out. I’d give anything to go do that PhD and not be riddled with disease. To have a mortgage, give my kids security and be like all of you. I really would.