What is your household income, how much is benefits, and how are you coping?

[Gabrilla]

Genuinely curious after so many threads on here about benefit changes. Please feel free to name change!

I’ll start:

Salaries for both of us total 90k. Only benefits are £102 month child benefit, though we also get tax-free childcare and 15hrs free at nursery.

Total income is about 6k a month, mortgage and bills 3k, nursery 1k, commuting costs £500, groceries cost £500, husband pays CMS and other bits to his children totalling about £500 leaving us about £500 for everything else.

Feels like we’re constantly penny-pinching.

ok so your not a single parent in a financial sense. I don’t get a bean from my children’s dad which makes things difficult. I thought the state was topping you up to £4k. Tax is so high the more you earn!

And that is what the problem is.

I don't begrudge people for needing help.

I also don't begrudge people who don't work because they are better off on benefits.

I begrudge a system that allows people who don't work/work part time to get significantly more than the average wage.

My auntie and her husband have never worked a day in their lives despite being perfectly able to. They have a lovely house in a nice area, smoke and go on lots of holidays and had 6 kids. Meanwhile my husband and I have worked full time since leaving uni (ive woried in some capacity since I was 14). We have a tiny scruffy house in an ok area, couldn't afford to smoke even if we wanted to, have to save for holidays and could only afford 1 child. We do ok but tell me how that is fair.

Household income approx. 70K.
no benefits.
2DC - DH works part time school hours term time only so no childcare bills.

We are fine but then naturally we live quite frugal lives. We go away (UK breaks) 3/4 times a year. Have a take away/ meal out once a month or so. DC do 2 extra curriculars each. Our grocery shop is about £100 - £130 per week. Mortgage £700 per month (including overpayments). We have no other debt and live in a cheap area. I think that makes a big difference.

Are you forgetting that single parents exist?

I doubt it- I budget £100 a month for food , and rarely spend more than £80 of it.

Agreed. I got max grant and loan as I was in care. I think it sets you up for failure. Like the benefits system. It sets people up to think they will get a better standard of living than they will.
I think your expectation is way too high. A £2000+ mortgage is very high.
Which is fine if you expect to have to scrimp and save in spending.

As a single person I earn half what your combined income is and my mortgage is £800.
That's only just affordable for me as my partner doesn't work. Which we accept as he looks after our children instead of ginormous childcare costs

No, thankfully the children's Dad is an arse in pretty much every area. Abusive, nasty piece if work, but he couldn't hide from CMS.
A portion of that income is also my salary, I'm a nurse so not a high earner.
I worked it out recently when my Son was becoming very difficult to manage. I'm £600 a month better off working, than not.
Someday's it hardly seems worth it. But on the flip side I also need to ensure I still have a career when the children are older and the support ends.

If childcare and commute are £1500 would you not be better off if you were not working? That’s all those costs gone and you get rid of the car too so no more mots or repairs etc. so that would leave the mortgage and bills from your husbands sole salary and he could take a second job etc. he needs to be earning more as he has a lot of children to support.

fwiw we are also in the se in a nice town in a 3bed semi. We have been together 20years and our combined income is Approx £45k we have never claimed any benefits. We have a basic life nothing fancy. Older cars, basic clothes and food a very simple life. We can afford to look after ourselves and our pets, no holidays. Like you our home is also one that needs fixing which we bought a few years ago so far from luxurious but we’ve made it as nice as we can, a tin of paint is not that expensive.

My adult child currently lives with us as can’t afford to rent anywhere which is very stressful for both of us, we do not have the space for a third person as our house is small and we wfh. That’s our major problem.

But unlike you our mortgage is much more affordable. mortgage and council tax combined take us to just over £1k a month.

This sounds like a weirdly passive aggressive post against your step-children!

No. Please re-read my income.
The children's Dad is a high earner, he pays for his children. That makes up a fair whack of that income. Not forgetting my wages which as a senior nurse working for x amount of years for the NHS I'm at the top of my banding.
On top of that my disabled son is in receipt of DLA at high rate. I would give the money back in a heartbeat to take away his struggles. So please be less ignorant when you post!

We have just over £60k between us. I'm on B6 mid point salary for nursing. Partner is full time minimum wage. Our bills are about £2k currently, but they'll increase soon as my baby will start nursery. We shouldn't find that too tight though.

I still manage to save money and go on holidays 🤷

Only benefit is child benefit for one DD.

55k before tax ( between all 3 of us) , 3 adults living in a very expensive part of the sw. Luckily have a large ex council house mortgage over £1200 a month husband spends at least £50 in fuel, insurances very expensive no benefits living from paycheck to paycheck.

I sympathise OP, life is so expensive now and it's gutting when you work hard and appear to have a good income. A lot of the issue is that your DP has other children to support, and they create other restrictions like your house and car, but the childcare is a killer too, and that will improve in a couple of years.

Household income currently £35k which is all my salary, as DH resigned from his last job because of mental health problems - he had started a new job and just could not cope with it. He's having some counselling now but I don't know when / how much he will earn again. He's 59 and I think partly burnt out from social work, partly depression, suspected ASD - not straightforward at all. And my workplace is unstable with possible redundancies and the whole sector feels like it's collapsing (university) so I am doing an MA to improve my job prospects. The dc are 11 and 13 so we have many years of supporting them. It does feel quite scary. So different circumstances to you OP, but I feel your pain; we thought we'd be in a better position financially now, too.

Well you clearly do begrudge someone for needing help.
Just so your aware, according to UC there are no requirements for me to work, at all, due to my caring responsibilities.

I do so because I worked hard to become a nurse, because I enjoy it and because I feel like I am contributing to society.
Yes I receive top ups from UC. But a large portion of that income is from my children's high earning Dad. A large portion of that is also made up of DLA, at high rate for my child, to enable him to be able to function and have his needs met. I would give up the money in a heartbeat to take away my sons disability. This was not the life I was meant to have, but it's just me, doing my best.

You need to be earning way way more than 90k to justify a bill of 3k on mortgage and bills. I wouldn’t sleep at night.

Total Incoming : £1100 salary, £104 Child benefit & £300 child maintenance

Total outgoing : bills & food £900 (I like Waitrose & organic so could cut this way down if needed)

I feel rich most of the time!

Sounds like commuting, childcare & mortgage are the killers for you but won’t be like this forever.

You have high outgoings due to living in an expensive area, presumably London or South East plus commuting, childcare and CMS. The high housing and travel is the issue plus two families to support.

We have £60k per annum in pensions. No benefits. Two people but we do help out our adult children with holidays/meals out etc as they are probably in a similar position to you but they actually have more disposable income due to not living in London, children both in school and no CMS. We live comfortably.

Thank you for taking my question in the way it was intended @PalePinkPeony. I read it back and even I thought I sounded like I was trying to be provocative, which I certainly wasn't.

I think by answering the question you've shown how relative income and expenditure are.

My DH and I don't have dependent children, and our monthly income is around £3500, however, my DH is self-employed and so he only takes £1040 per month as a wage. The rest stays in the business account.

All of his work related expenses come out of the business account - petrol, insurance on vehicles etc.

So out of the £3500 monthly incomings, deduct £1500 for mortgage and bills (including mortgage overpayment), and about £280 shopping, and we have £1.7k a month left of discretionary spending. We live in the north and so this allows us a comfortable life. No debts. Once the mortgage is paid off that will be an extra £700 each month, and we are both able to taking dividends from the business account.

It hasn't always been like this though, and we've been on our arses financially. I'm 44 and DH is 50, so I just want to say to those with children that whilst things are tight for you now, once the kids have flown the nest, it will get a lot easier, and you may have a nice property that you've invested in which you can downsize from 😁.

Self employed, 1 salary supporting a family of 4. Monthly income £15,000, but nett is only about half as £8,000 of that has to be put aside every month to cover our tax bill which is paid twice yearly.

Live in an expensive city.

Mortgage £2800pcm
Gas/electric £480pcm
Cars x2 tax, insurance, etc, £150pcm, not including petrol
Council tax £250 pcm
Water £80 pcm
Petrol £1-200 pcm
Commuting costs £500pcm
Insurances inc house, etc, £140pcm
Food/household stuff £550pcm including pet food
After all essential bills are paid we have about £1000 pcm left for discretionary spending /savings.

My dh has only been earning this kind of salary for about 5 years, and there were a lot of lean years prior to that, plus high start up costs that meant for the 1st 3 years half of what was left after tax went on repaying a loan.

If mortgage+bills is 3000 and the mortgage is 1800, you have 1200 in other bills... can you give a breakdown on that? It seems high, but maybe you are including stuff in there that others might not count as "bills".

I guess that's a choice based on where you live etc.

Our household income was £70k and now, due to changes at my organisation, it's around £55k. We're feeling the difference, but we're going on a pricey holiday in December and a long weekend in August, and will probably manage a summer break in 2026.

The difference is we live in a 3 bed terrace in the North so our mortgage is £600 a month rather than £2k.

We don't really keep track of outgoings, there is no need.

Single parent, 1 dc, rent work 30 hours a week unable to do full time due to wrap around childcare, dont drive so no car bills.

Net pay after tax ni pension etc about 2100 a month. I get universal credit (they pay 85% of my childcare costs which enables me to work and my allowance is calculated based on rent, single parent, childcare and thats 1200 a month) child benefit 102 a month and child maintenance 100 a month.

Total monthly income including my benefits and child maintenance: 3502
Total monthly expenses rent (650), childcare (140 a week), school lunches, broadband, phone, public transport, electric and oil 1450 a month. I also spend an additional 70 a week on food on average, I dont drive so tend to pay overpriced petrol station prices as its nearby I can never organise myself for online deliveries or find food goes off. I manage to save, travel twice monthly to England for 2 days to visit partner with my child and can afford that. We have one holiday abroad a year. No designer items, house furnishings are basic most items got second hand. No spare bedroom and no plans for further children

That's quite a short sighted perspective, as OP would lose a few years of work experience and career progression. Plus childcare is a shared cost, not just on OP.

If her role could be done remotely to save her the travel expenses then that could be worth consideration to save her costs on both travel and also booking in fewer childcare hours. Condensed hours/reducing to 90% etc can also potentially help her maintain her career whilst helping reduce bills.

I've seen enough threads on here from women with dickhead husbands to discourage anyone from leaving employment entirely for the sake of a few leaner, more stressful years.

Due to tax and child benefit cap, households are better off with two working parents learning less each rather than one high income and one low/no income. Plus presumably OP's husband would want to spend time with his baby rather than working round the clock!

There’s no way on earth I believe you spend £18 a week feeding two adults and buying household items and toiletries.