For wanting to kick guests out my house

[Rachelyellik]

I’m about to blow my lid. Ds is 1 and a half and likes to try and climb on everything. We’re having DH’s family over (he invited them to stay I wasn’t on board.) They’re constantly criticising what we do wrong and making us seem unfit to be parents ( we have 2 dc.) Ds hurt himself by trying to hold on to the chair and tipping over with it, of course in front of DH’s family. This caused them to say “we could’ve prevented him from hurting himself” although kids hurt themselves all the time and no one’s keeping a tally of all the accidents we do prevent. Next they started making worrying comments about how he could have a brain injury and telling us horror stories about people who are paralysed. Dc barely cried a minute and was back to his normal playful self. God if they seen some of the accidents my eldest has had they’d have a cow. I just left and went in the bedroom but I’m ready to blow and lid. DH did ask them to stop and I can’t really fault him for the behaviour of his family I just think it’s so cruel to be commenting on an accident when the parents already feel bad and guilty enough. Just keep your thoughts to yourself.

I would point out that they were there, so why didn't they prevent it?

So they sat there and watched your child have an accident, then stated they could have prevented it.
So why the bloody hell didn't they?????

It all happened so fast. He was being watched and had just been moved from falling off the couch. He had just grabbed the chair and fell. Nobody should’ve been blamed but they wanted to comment even after I’ve heard countless stories of how their young kids used to hurt themselves.

Oh they do sound like hard work, OP.

It’s so irritating feeling like I’m being observed and criticised. Having a baby is hard enough. I don’t like the idea of guests for this reason. Makes everything awkward.

Urgh that’s so frustrating. Kids are so accident prone at that age and bump/fall over all the time.

Your DH needs to tell them to keep their opinions to themselves.

How much longer are you stuck with them? If DH invited them, he can host them. I would be Incredibly Busy Elsewhere.

All week long. Yay me.

I do try keeping the peace and not starting friction but I don’t think it’s right making horrible comments to already stressed parents. Just trying to rub salt in the wound. I did tell DH how annoyed I was and he understood but it puts him in a horrible situation. And they’re not bad for the most part. I really like them I just didn’t appreciate the comments.

I totally get you.
My MIL made a comment about my toddler having a scratch on her face.. suggesting I wasn't a good parent.
I didn't speak to her for two years and blocked her on all social media and she's never been in the house since.
Got no time for it.
I only saw her in the end because it was a family funeral so I had to be there for my DH.
Weve got 3 children and she's never looked after any of them. If she thinks I'm struggling she could offer to help not make out I'm a bad parent. I have got zero time for people who want to judge and not support.
I'd certainly throw those people out of my house in your situation! Why the hell couldn't they have prevented the chair incident themselves if they are so good at caring for kids?

@Rachelyellikit’s still completely fine for DH to nicely have a word with them “You may not realise but when you say things like ‘I could have prevented that fall’ it actually makes us more stressed about the situation. No one wants DC to hurt themselves and we’re trying our best here.”

How much longer are they there? I’d just be as busy as possible and be clear to dh after that you are not impressed

I wish I was as strong as you. I’m trying to not rock the boat but I would love nothing more than to tell them to hit the road! Oh and let’s not forget the comments about eldest’s excema and how they’re doing to “hate us forever” for allowing her to scratch and get scars. Even though we have got plasters and cream.

And of course your Dh has taken time off work to host his parents?!

nope so guess who is hosting?

That would annoy me more than anything.

If he invited them he hosts them. Any chance you could book an Airbnb and disappear for a few days with dc and leave them to it.

I mean having you and dc around is actually stressing them out so act like you are doing them a favour by going away for a few days

I have already suggested getting a hotel. Everyone thought I was outrageous and trying to spend loads of money. What’s the price on peace? I’ll pay every penny.

He needs to be told this never happens again.

He invites, he hosts. Ask him how he would feel hosting your parents alone whilst you disappeared at work all day. Selfish fucker.

I'd be having serious words with him and organising myself to be out of the house as much as possible. Why does your DH think this is OK? Are they often at yours? Tell him next time, they stfu and he takes the entire time off work. Surely you have better things to be cracking on with?

He don’t really think much of it. They were disappointed too that he hadn’t taken the week off as they should be.

Why didn't you tell him to book time off if he wanted his parents to stay?
I'd still ask why they didn't stop the accident if they could have prevented it.

Don't be a doormat, OP. It's not your job to entertain them or placate them.

He should tell them to stop with the useless comments

I went with a friend yesterday and came back midday. He was very cold after watching the kids. Barely talked to me and acted like I had just spat in his face. Then informed me since I was out he’d have to work all night which means I’m hosting again. He would never do this if roles were reversed? Feeling very used and don’t want another situation or judgemental comment.

Bloody hell, that would annoy me as well! Oh and I'd be telling DH in no uncertain terms, that if he ever thinks it's a good idea to host them again then it will be HIM who's around all day to look after them!