To complain about teacher weight comments

[jd88123]

My Daughter is in S1 aged 12 and was in biology class. Her teacher made them all weigh themselves.
My DD went through puberty age 10 and has boobs and a bum. Her BMI is 22 which is normal.
She said the teacher told them to "put 50kg down if you don't want to put your real weight as this is normal".
I am fuming about this as my DD is already weight conscious and has said she is going on a diet which I don't condone as she is healthy.
I think the teacher was very irresponsible to comment this and I sent a complaint about it to her guidance teacher which they've said they are looking in to.
I feel it's so wrong for children to compare themselves to each other as everyone is different. It's so damaging to their self esteem and at this age all girls especially have so much pressure to be thin and beautiful from the media.
Would you have complained?

Please see the original post and calm yourself down.

Oh come on, this is really bad. Weight isn't a neutral thing, and what the teacher said wasn't 'neutral' either. 22 is a healthy BMI, and the teacher telling the child to lose weight was her clearly telling the child that it's not health that matters - it's whether you're skinny or not. I had the same message taught to me as a child and developed severe anorexia nervosa. I suffer with chest pains because of it to this day (once your body runs out of fat to burn it turns to muscle, meaning that I now have heart weakness).

OP isn't being 'crazy', she's rightly concerned about the teacher telling her child that she needs to lose weight at a BMI of 22.

I find it hard to swallow that in 2025, educated people believe anorexia is caused by a desire to be slim or a fat comment.

The initial control might start as a diet or by accident, but most people won't become anorexic, it takes dedication to pain.

On reality it has very little to do with being slim, it is a mh illness that is created as a method of control when the mind out of control.

Hence the baggy clothing and hiding the symptoms.

Where did the teacher tell op’s child she needed to lose weight?
I must have missed that?

Weighing oneself doesn’t cause EDs. These days, I’d say it’s much more likely to cause anxiety about weight through exposure to social media. Never mind the scales, take away unlimited access to Instagram!

Hi! I was an anorexic, and for me the anorexia was triggered by a desire to lose weight, and manifested itself in a deep terror of gaining any weight at all.

I totally take your point that for some anorexia is about far more than this - however, for many it is triggered by the desire to lose weight.

Except that’s not what the OP said happened.

No i would t have complained. The teacher was being nice and told them to put 50kg down if they didn't want to write their own weight. Your dd must have own insecurities to react that way.

For most 12 years olds who havnt gone through puberty it may be normal or average

I was my adult height at 12 with periods and boob's.

fair point there - it was my misreading, not yours. You're right, the teacher didn't tell her to lose weight.

That being said, I still feel iffy about teenagers being told to weigh themselves. There will inevitably be comparisons with the 'normal' weight of 50kg: there will inevitably be comparisons with the girls who weigh less than you. So much stuff about weight is shoved at young girls online (heroine chic is back) - do we really need to bring stuff about it into our schools, as well? Reading the post properly this time, I don't think that the teacher was malicious in any way, but I still think that it was a thoughtless thing to do.

I'm sure she didn't mean this as wishing an eating disorder on the OP's DD.

Lots of things to think about - the OP has been told what her DD heard which may be different to what the teacher said, the teacher perhaps should have considered a more neutral comment, or just not given a reason 'If you don't want to weigh yourself, write down 50kg', and lastly, is this something that required a complaint?

The OP could have helped alleviate her DD's concerns, and then sent more of a 'FYI' email rather than going in with an accusation before she'd heard the teacher's side.

And minding about having supply teachers may seem precious, but many parents have been on here complaining about just that, and you never know when a teacher will have had enough. Parents are often cited as a significant reason for teachers leaving the profession.

I remember doing this at school in the '80s and was surprised that my DD reported doing it in Y9, exactly because I assumed schools were more switched on to the potential dangers of this type of activity.

I wouldn't complain about the teacher. If I was going to complain, it would be about the school including this in the syllabus.

The teacher is WRONG, WRONG , WRONG !
The moment she ushered those words , I want each student to weight themselves, she made students feel uncomfortable, nervous, anxious , how dare she !!!
One thing teaching about healthy bmi’s & healthy eating habits , it’s completely over stepping the mark , pulling out weighing scales ..
I can’t believe everyone isn’t on the same page here ..
I don’t care if other students don’t know one another’s weight result , doing something like that is the same for eg , if you were walking down the street & you slipped , you feel as though all eyes are on you , they’re not but that is how you feel ..
When she got her students to weigh themselves, that’s how she made many of them feel ..
You’re telling me that’s right ???
Well it’s not …

The moment she ushered those words , I want each student to weight themselves, she made students feel uncomfortable, nervous, anxious , how dare she !!!
Don’t be so bloody ridiculous. Not everyone shares your issues.

No not everyone share the same views , I know this , but you can say what you like , it’s true 🤷🏻‍♀️..
Some students will have felt like they were put in the spot light , I know some won’t, but is it fair to make even one feel like that ??? ..

Good lord is this still happening? I am 63 and can still remember this humiliating and pointless class activity at school. There is no need to look at actual personal weights (or height for that matter as this was also damaging to those who were above or below average height or indeed any measurements). Furthermore any education about health and well-being needs to be conducted by someone with specialised knowledge and ability provide appropriate support.

I suspect the teacher was well meaning but highly under qualified to approach these topics in a supportive and positive way. YANBU

I agree that these kinds of conversations have to be handled mindfully with kids, but the teacher did give the kids an 'out' if they didn't want to weigh themselves.

Was it the physics lesson where they calculate the amount of energy used by climbing stairs, perchance? That is a very common KS3 exercise and cannot be done without the inclusion of weight.

No worse than the NHS weight checks in Primary.

At least on this occasion the kids were given a generalised figure to use if they didn't want to weigh themselves.

According to google 50kg for a 12 year old is overweight. Is she very tall for her age? I weigh 50kg at the age of 36 and I’m average in height, 156cm. Are you quite sure you m’ve calculated her BMI correctly? Unless that teacher is both sadistic and an idiot I don’t see why they’d make such a comment if there was no cause for concern.

We must thank our lucky stars that we don't live in Italy and most Eastern European countries, where the people discuss weight openly.

We've created massive shame around body types,, when in reality people come in different shapes and sizes, including children.

My DS is overweight at 55 kgs aged 10, he is much taller, bigger feet, bigger head size, bigger shoulders than his peers, as an adult, he'll be bigger than most men.

Absolutely complain

fucking hell

OP said the teacher said that any kids who wanted to weigh themselves could and any kids who didn’t want to weigh themselves could use a weight of 50kg. 50kg is a nice round number that’s easy for calculations and although heavier than the average girl that age, probably strategically chosen to appease the sensitivities of the larger students in the class.

Any students who might have anxiety over their weight can use the given number and any students who have no anxiety over their weight and want to do the practical can weigh themselves. How can it be an issue if a) it was completely optional with no pressure, b) no person was singled out or shamed about their weight and c) the “normal” weight give was heavier than the average student that age anyway so probably artificially reassured more students about their body than upset them?!!

They weren't weighing them for medical reasons, they were teaching them how to collate, compare data and analyse it and present the results I presume. Hence her just saying put a set number that's 'average' if you don't want to actually weigh yourself.
It's nothing to do with how much each person weighs. They could've weighed hamsters or elephants but presumably people were more readily available.

Our DD changed around age 9/10.
Her hormones kicked in and she was almost suddenly so different to her peers. She started her period age 10.
Her hair changed too, became quite wild, one of the after school club staff ( who knew from our church ) said to her “ I love you but your hair is a right mess ! Whats going on with it!” She came out from school very upset, I was fuming! This woman had grown up children herself, boys and girls, I wanted to go back and speak to her but our DD said not too.
Watch what you say to children, it can upset them, affect their self confidence through their lives, theres no need to speak to them about their appearance, esp if you work with children-no excuse!
I opted her out of the Y6 health check exam, shes now 14, changed again.
I don’t understand why any teacher thinks its ok to weigh children in class, I would ask why it was done, if it doesn't feel right then its not right.

Why is no one mentioning the fact the teacher made them weigh themselves?! Awful.