To complain about teacher weight comments

[jd88123]

My Daughter is in S1 aged 12 and was in biology class. Her teacher made them all weigh themselves.
My DD went through puberty age 10 and has boobs and a bum. Her BMI is 22 which is normal.
She said the teacher told them to "put 50kg down if you don't want to put your real weight as this is normal".
I am fuming about this as my DD is already weight conscious and has said she is going on a diet which I don't condone as she is healthy.
I think the teacher was very irresponsible to comment this and I sent a complaint about it to her guidance teacher which they've said they are looking in to.
I feel it's so wrong for children to compare themselves to each other as everyone is different. It's so damaging to their self esteem and at this age all girls especially have so much pressure to be thin and beautiful from the media.
Would you have complained?

Eating disorders are mental health conditions, they are an attempt to control other stressful areas of your life.

Simply mentioning the concept of weight won't cause an eating disorder.

No

What? 50kg is 8 stone! That's really heavy for an 11 year old, the average is much less than that

She won't get in trouble and she will be following a school approved scheme of work. They will labe laughing and rolling their eyes at you op!

Its not ideal but making a complaint about it feels a bit like going after the low hanging fruit. Is your DD allowed a phone and access to SM? Because if so, complaining about this teacher's remark in the context of the messaging she will be receiving from sources far more influential on teens than a teacher, is like trying to keep your roof from leaking with sellotape. You cannot protect your DD from issues with food by trying to police and silence other people. The only protection is from building confidence the best you can and encouraging dialogue around what she sees and hears.

But 50kg is a normal weight. Surely you just told your daughter that her weight is normal too? I hope you haven't made the situation worse OP.

Agree, 50kg is well over the average as it is so if your daughter is heavier than that then it needs addressing, she can’t be oblivious to the fact she is overweight. The teacher was trying to be sensitive by saying 50kg.

My DS 11, soon 12 weighs 35 kg. He's 145 cm and not particularly skinny, very average. He would hate this exercice as well because he would like to weigh more. And he would he ashamed if the teacher said that the normal was 50 kh. Did the teacher weigh herself ? Would she propose that her collegues weigh themselves? And this is teens/preteens we're talking about so very sensitive subject. YANBU.

I lnow my size of clothes. Both my private clothes and my uniform at work. We can request smaller/bigger if needed. I have had the same for +10 years.
None on my medication is based on weight.
I know that my weight isn't 'overweight'. My GP is happy with it. She never ask me to be weighted in clinic but ok I see her every 2nd-3rd year.
I am not worried. People seem a bit obseesed with weight/BMI.

This used to be a very standard activity to do in a classroom which led on to work displaying the data. It’s not done much anymore because people worry about it triggering eating disorders etc. if the teacher let everyone weigh themselves and didn’t insist on sharing the weights then I can understand why she thought it was ok.

unfortunately these days it’s just another activity that is best avoided.

school will have told her not to do it again.

i moved to doing heights instead which was actually quite interesting.

They are not teenagers, they are 11, and would have been weighed in school a few months ago in year 6.

Tell your daughter BMI is ridiculous. I work with a weightlifter who has absolutely no body fat but his BMI classes him as obese.

Nobody needed to be weighed at all. The teacher could have drawn up random weights and plotted them. Completely unnecessary and the fallout is always for the parents to deal with when teachers do these ill-advised 'tasks'.

I'm usually on the side of teachers but not this time and a complaint is warranted.

Don’t complain. The teacher meant no harm.

No please don't tell her this.

Unless she is a body builder herself of course.

I'm very surprised at the school allowing this when the subject of weight has become so taboo, while the nation continues to get fatter.

I'm sure you won't be the only parent to complain about this teacher, although ironically some of the parents complaining will be allowing their kids free access to Instagram and all its disordered eating influencers.

But there will also be kids who are self conscious about their height and would rather be taller/shorter. Why have you decided that's OK to highlight but weight isn't?

Wtf. That's exactly the reaction I've got at OPs daughters age (12, she's not 11). And from a nurse, no less. In front of my class.

We had to queue and were weighted. I went after a petite girl and the nurse exclaimed, wow, what a BIG lass you are! And proceeded with advice how to lose some weight, because 57kg is A LOT for a girl.

Why didn't she take into account that I was 1.8m (5'11 I believe) and my classmate was about 5 foot nothing, I have no idea. I was slimmer than the other girl, just weighted more because I'm tall (reached my full adult height at the age of 12)

I weight 55kg now and I'm a small size 6, slightly underweight, not overweight. So it depends on height.

My DD is 12 now, 5'4'', weights 54kg and her BMI is 20.4, she's not overweight at all.

I'd complain OP, yes. YANBU.

They didn't if they didn't want to. Practical lessons are important and the majority shouldn't be denied the opportunity because a handfull are precious about it. The teacher struck a reasonable balance here. It's similar with the disection lessons, don't do it if you don't want to, but everyone else doesn't have to bend to your whims.

in any case, everyone knows that people weigh different amounts. It's ridiculous to pretend otherwise.

picking up on some comments:

usually the point of these lessons is to show the concept of variation, that is on a group of animals the heights and weights will vary. Usually if you take the data and draw it on a graph you get a bell curve.

the teacher would not have been able to make up random data as if they did this it wouldn’t draw a bell curve when plotted and that is the point of the lesson.

there’s a whole load of biology based on this and it is something that will be on the curriculum.

most schools don’t use weight any more because of the eating disorders issue.

shoe size can be used but you don’t get quite as good a graph. Height is generally considered a better option although I have seen it done with head circumference or handspan.

It's not nice.

I wouldn't worry about her weight yet, I was a chunky chubby child, I've always been a slim adult.

I agree that children put on weight differently. My Daughter is very slim, my DS is chunky and overweight by bmi, he is self conscious of it, he loves being the tallest.

He has regularly hospital visits they aren't concerned by his weight as he is tall, he puts on weight so easy and doesn't lose it.

Whereas DD eats the same amount, she never gains an ounce.

My niece was chubby but sporty too, she lost her chunky look as a teenager and is slim fit mid twenties.

It’s quite amazing how people are glossing over how much shame and guilt there is around weight.
That it’s extremely easy to a 12yo to hear ‘I weight more than 50kg. I am awfully too heavy’ for example. Even though they’re taller, more developed etc etc….

I mean all the people saying it’s just an exercise etc…
What if you had to attend a course with work colleagues and you were asked to weight yourself in frim of everyone. Would you like it or find it triggering!
What if you were told ‘just put 50kg as its the normal/average weight for women’? if you feel uncomfortable. Still happpy?

Im sure no adult would go along. Why are we expecting teenagers to do so ?

how Is it ok to weigh a student at all? Seems horrible!

This is exactly why it's worth a polite reasonable email. The teacher might be horrified to know that her innocent comment has led to a healthy teenager trying to attain an unhealthy weight and might want to have the feedback.

I think her comment was fine because some kids will definitely not want to share their real weight. However, I think it was completely unnecessary to weigh them in class! That's what I'd have a problem with, not th harmless comment.

My threshold for making complaints about teachers is really high and this would not pass it.