Mum guilt

[Crocomum2022]

DD is 10 months. Somehow she has a tummy bug vomiting and not diahorrea.
bless her she is doing well. But when she is ill that means my morning gym sessions and opportunity for a walk to get steps in stops.
she needs me and I get that my baby comes first. But at the same time I feel terrible that I haven’t had my own time (5:30am session) to workout, get my steps in or even drink water! and most likely stuck at home all day.

Am I had to feel that way?

Do a home workout while she naps or if she feels better get out for a walk with the pram. The fresh air will do you both good.

The water one is ridiculous though. There is nothing stopping you from drinking and you bad time to post.

Surely you can do all that at home.

Generally I am not a mum guilt person - but TBH I actually do think it's a bit ridiculous to be sad about missing one day of working out when your baby isn't well.

Are you generally quite obsessive about exercise?

I don’t think this is anything to do with ‘mum guilt’. It sounds as if you have some kind of exercise obsession. Also, surely you can drink water while you are at home with your baby?

Why can't you do your 5:30am workout? I'm assuming your DP/DH is usually home for you to go out and do it?

Why can't you drink water? Just carry on your day at home as normal, DD will just be resting/sleeping if they're poorly?

I agree with this tbh. You sound annoyed or inconvenienced by your baby being ill, what are you suggesting you feel guilty about, resenting her? Drink some water, no reason not to.

I mean you have time to drink water. And at 10 months they will nap so you could do a work out if you wanted to.
It’s fine to wish you had more downtime in your day, it’s weird to be immediately resentful of a missed workout because your baby is throwing up

One day at not getting your steps in? That’s not mum guilt, that’s a bit of selfishness. Why can’t you do it when she naps?

i don’t have an exercise obsession it’s more that it improves my mental wellbeing as it’s a long day to be alone with DD until DH comes back from work (8pm) I just want to feel good in order to be a more positive and productive mum while I’m on MAT leave.
mum guilt might be the wrong word but I was just expressing how I felt as it’s been a difficult few days with baby being ill and I’m out of my routine. I’m a first time mum with baby being ill for the first time

im not resentful towards my baby at all that was a harsh reply especially when I said my baby comes first in my post

But one day isn’t going to cause your mental well-being that much damage, surely? And if your DH was there at 5.30 am to look after the bsby, couldn’t you have done it anyway?

Why can’t you do the workout early before DH goes to work or at 8 when he returns?

Thats not mum guilt. That usually means your worrying your not doing enough or spending enough time with your kids....you seem to think your kid being sick is an inconvenience to you.

No I don’t. How harsh and horrible

But you’re also claiming your baby is the reason you can’t drink any water which doesn’t even make sense!

That's not mum guilt, is it. You just feel a bit frustrated and trapped because you're stuck indoors and can't do your usual activities that make you feel good. Unfortunately it's a significant feature of motherhood, so I'm afraid you will just have to accept it and take your opportunities when baby is better.

I do get it... I remember that dread of an ill baby, no afternoon walk, no fresh air. Get out in the garden if you have one, and if she naps later you can do a workout then. Or just accept a quiet day.

That is kind of what you said.

You’re a new mum. Life won’t ever be the same again. Your routine will never be protected again, because stuff happens with kids and you need to bend with it.

If this is really affecting you so badly, you need to ask yourself why. There’ll be far bigger and more protracted inconveniences coming down the track. What is the problem with dropping your workout whilst your child is ill?

Thank you for being kind

Off course it's not bad! You've just noticed that you have two reactions to this which are both true. Very normal for us to have mixed feelings and thoughts about things all the time! You are absolutely committed to caring for your poorly baby and wouldn't dream of doing otherwise, AND you're pissed off your own plans for the day have to change. Totally totally normal. We are not selfless Mary Poppins character we are real humans, allowed to have mixed feelings. Mum guilt can be toxic if it's about internalised ideas of perfect mothers.

Don’t fret OP. It’s horrible when babies are poorly and can feel like it goes on for ages but it won’t. She’ll be feeling better soon and normal service will resume.

OP, please take this in the gentle way it's meant. If you have time to be posting on mumsnet, you have time to get yourself a glass of water.

Put your phone down, get yourself a drink and a healthy snack, take a breath and accept the new few days will be quiet ones at home getting your lovely baby better. She will sleep a lot of the day and you can do a workout at home whilst she rests. The rest of the day you can be snuggled up together.

Children get ill a lot in the early years, there's no point fighting it. Go with the flow and you'll get through the days a lot easier.

Harsh replies to a first time mum who is still adjusting to the complete overhaul of priorities that kids necessitate… Your feelings are normal OP. I once had an hour’s cry because my babies got sick and couldn’t go to nursery on a day I booked off work to go to a spa. ❤️