For this small matter to be a deal breaker?

[Ifiwerea]

My boyfriend of 6 months refuses to follow me on social media. I follow him. His profile is public (and so is mine). He says he doesn’t like to follow the women he’s dating.

He has also put lots of photos from our travels online, but never with me in them.

He doesn’t seem to be keeping me a secret in the real world. I’ve met all his friends and family.

I just spotted him liking the photo of a very attractive woman that I believe is an ex of his, a few days ago. She has also been liking his posts.

This feels enormous to me. Perhaps it shouldn’t and perhaps I’m being very immature and insecure, but to like a pretty photo of another woman that he clearly knows well, while he won’t even follow me, let alone post a photo with me or like any of my photos, feels an absolute deal breaker, for reasons I can’t really articulate.

Am in being utterly ridiculous to bring this up?

You’re right.

I have jars of wok sauce in my fridge that are older than six months….

Honestly, this sounds like a lot of grief for something that’s barely started. And you have kids according to PP? Focus on them.

forty six. I work in social media though and hence it is something important to me.

I’m not sure how this is connected?

can you elaborate on this?

Social media is going to be the scandal of this generation in twenty years time.

Constantly checking someone else’s social media to see who they’re following and liking while wanting to end a relationship because your current fling won’t follow you on social media is juvenile at best.

I would have pegged you for 16 not 46.

with all due respect, if social media features in your life, which is does for both he and I, refusing to follow someone, when you follow many many other people, on a daily basis, is quite a strange thing to do.

It is not his refusal to follow me (although that is odd), it’s the mutual liking of photos with the woman he dated immediately before me.

Last night’s post wasn’t in any way related to unhappiness, it was a dilemma.

Attitude, much?

So he doesn’t follow the women he’s dating but now he’s liking the ex’s posts, so presumably now follows her.

Split up with him and then he’ll follow you on SM.

Perhaps he is a bit of a 'technophobe' so maybe suggest he wears a sandwich board with "I'm dating ifiwerea" on it?

If he refuses then it's pretty clear what you need to do...Sorry.

I couldn't get exercised about this. My DP of nearly 7 years rarely interacts with me on social media but we live together and have a happy and stable relationship.

Social media is largely theatre. Nothing wrong with this but it is hardly a reliable barometer of the health of your relationship overall.

If it wasn't for the fact you have kids I'd have thought you were the woman dating an ex-friend of mine - who behaves as your guy does because he doesn't want to know the other women he's seeing knowing he has a girlfriend.

When he stops dating you he might like your photos then too.

It's been 6 months just move on if you are so dramatic about social media and stalking him on it. Knowing he's liking other pics is stalking because he doesn't follow you so you are actively checking.

Maybe he’s picked up on your attitude, OP, and cba anymore? I certainly couldn’t! Man would need to be a saint to deal with your whiplash

He has absolutely no idea that I am concerned about this. I have not expressed this to him at all. I literally came onto AIBU to ask exactly that - AIBU. I’m not looking for validation that I’m not. I’m genuinely asking.

He’s either still with the ex or not that committed yet.

Nobody connect with their partner on social media AFTER they break up, and he is obviously connected to the ‘ex’.