To want to bloody scream....!!

[Playinwithfire]

It's a teen one!

They are vaping.. tried everything to educate and stop them BUT no. They know better.
They have decided they are vaping in my bathroom or in their room (it flippen stinks). I continually bring it up that it is NOT ALLOWED. They ask for proof they are actually vaping as obviously my smell (and others that have smelt it) are actually lying because there is no smell 🫣🤔

What do I do?! We have genuinely tried everything... We have tried every approach, said teen gives no f***

Confiscate the vapes and consequences. Stop pocket money if they're spending it on vapes. Take tech away, no lifts to meet friends etc

If they don't care, I doubt you'll be able to say anything to persuade them. They'll just keep vaping when you're not looking.

You could try giving them some nicotine gum to have in the house. Nicotine is very addictive - literally no one is going to quit it cold turkey because you personally think they should. People have to want to quit an addiction.

What age teen are you talking about?

Because if they are old enough to leave home then that's what I would be asking them to do: they are not only putting their own health in danger, they are damaging the health of everyone else in the household. Not to mention wasting money and making life horrible with the disgusting sickening smell.

If they aren't old enough to leave home then as pp said you need to sanction them in any way possible.

I find it hard to comprehend living with a son/ daughter who holds their parent in such contempt.

Just to play devil's advocate... Stinks of what? It's not just teen body spray smell is it? Cus that fucking stinks to high heaven too (and lingers much longer than vape smell) . I don't know why we allow that either. All the Impulse I used as a teen definitely widened the hole in the ozone layer.

Unplug the WiFi and end their phone contract.

Tell them no more vaping in the house and if they do they will lose money/tech. Then next time you smell it , punish them remove phone/console for say 3 days. Then continue everytime. Search room and bin anything you find. Don’t argue, you are the adult your house, your rules.

They are 16. They work so have their own money. I have removed everything other than the door on their bedroom 🤦🏻‍♀️ They can top their own phone up.

I find it hard to comprehend living with a son/ daughter who holds their parent in such contempt

This is what I am struggling with. An why the house/environment has become awful to live in. Because they can't smell it then I can't prove it, literally gaslights us.

I wish it was just your normal teenage smell but it's like a really sweet sickening smell.

Time to come down harder. If they continue to do this they are out on their ear the moment they hit 18.

Meh - there are much worse things

My teen vapes too despite all the talks we’ve had.
We also have the rule not to vape inside. I’ve said I’ll leave the vapes alone if she doesn’t vape inside. If she vapes inside, I’ll throw everything I find out, and I’ll conduct daily bag searches for a week.

If you can’t stop pocket money, perhaps you can stop giving lifts ? I’d be ruthless and if you suspect they’ve vaped, apply the consequence- you don’t need court evidence, trust your nose on this one. They will likely call you unfair and tell you they haven’t vaped inside, but you need to take yourself and your rules seriously and if you strongly suspect it, stand firm.
It’s your house, you do not need to live with this smell.

They’re 16, over the age of consent for medical procedures. They earn their own money.

You've done your best to explain consequences, I’d leave them to make their own choices tbh.

I like @Glowinglights approach re not vaping inside.

@Donotgogentle so if a member of your household decided they wanted to smoke cigarettes at home that's fine?
Is 16 not under age purchase of vapes?

Not inside the house, no. But yes otherwise, broadly it’s their body, their choice.

It’s tricky at age 16 I realise but I think at some point as parents you have to step back and accept they’ll make their own choices.

Also I have to be honest that at 16 I used to smoke and drink. Vaping doesn’t seem too terrible by comparison.

Tell them you don't want to breath in the fumes from their vapes that you can quite obviously smell. They thought smoking inside was fine 40 years ago. Vapes are new and no one knows much about them yet or the long term affects.

Tell them it's their choice if they want to do it outside of the house but not inside. Do they pay you any board? Your house, you are the adult, your rules

You can’t do anything.

I think at 16 you’ve lost this battle already. I found vapes at that age and played it down, no big deal I pretended and when she realised the cost every week it stopped. But I think your maybe past that point.
I would say it’ll not be mentioned again but if you do it inside then room sweeps will take place and everything will be binned. If it’s kept out of the house that’s all you can ask for now

I just can't believe how some teens do what they like in the home! They will need to be warned that if they vape in the house they leave at 18.
I don't think you can force them to give up though, just enforce going outside, come rain or shine.

Change the WiFi password.
I sadly check ds's room often. Vapes are binned. Cash is not given.

That's what vape companies want you to think. Paul Danan died from excessive vaping. He was 46.

Paul Danan’s cause of death was recorded as:-

“His provisional cause of death has been recorded as combined toxicity of heroin, methadone, codeine, pregabalin, cocaine and zopiclone, contributed to by benzodiazepine use, the court heard.”

You could approach it from another angle?

Vaping - like smoking - will cause wrinkles around the mouth and age the skin.

She stinks, her clothes stink.

It looks moronic - Sucking and smacking away for dear life on plastic vapes.

Talk about popcorn lung - although at 16 kids think they're immortal :(

My friend had similar issue, get 16yo started vaping, my friend went ballistic. She sat her down and said - if you think you're adult enough to smoke and waste your money on it then you will be treated like an adult in this house meaning: you buy your own food, you pay rent for your room, and I'm not doing anything for you etc. You want to be an adult? Then you get adult treatment.
Worked a charm.

Dd (17) vapes. We’ve spoken about the risks however me and dh both vape. 😐

She has a job and pays for it herself, I can’t exactly force her to quit. I’ve made her aware it’s her health she’s ruining.

Have they stopped vaping in the house? Do they know when you do the search? I'm going to apply this approach. I've younger kids and it's so unfair on them!

Teenagers are incredibly frustrating. I feel I'm a fair parent and very respectful. I just can not process this kind of behavior.