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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Emails - annual leave

153 replies

BearHuntAgain · 17/03/2025 19:46

I’m genuinely questioning whether I’m being unreasonable or my manager is.

I work in a relatively small team for a large multinational company. We’re a very busy team and there’s never enough hours in the day. Since coming back from mat leave I’ve definitely been putting stronger boundaries in place regarding my working hours.

I’m taking annual leave the rest of this week and DH are going away just the two of us for the first time since having DC2 (she’s two). it’s been a really shit 6 months and we really need this.

At the end of our team meeting my boss mentioned about taking my work phone and just checking emails at the end of the day in case there are any emergencies. I basically said no. He then emailed me after the meeting to say that I was setting a bad example to the junior members of the team.

I responded saying that it’s important for everyone to switch off on annual leave. I’d have my personal phone for them to get hold of me if an emergency. He responded reiterating it didn’t take long to check and forward on anything urgent.

Everyone in the company knows who my colleagues are and would reach out to them if urgent. I’m not so senior that I’m paid an amazing wage so it justifies being available. And I’m going to have an out of office on saying to contact my colleagues if needed.

I’m really annoyed that it’s on me to actively log into my emails to check each day (technically only away for three days).

YABU - it’s a quick check just to make sure nothing urgent has been sent.

YANBU - it’s your annual leave. It’s encroaching on your time and your team can cope for a few days without you.

OP posts:
measureofmydreams · 18/03/2025 00:55

Annual leave is intended for you to recharge. I agree that you should involve HR, explain that you will have an ooo and forwarding on your emails and make sure he understands that his expectation is unacceptable. Have a lovely break.

MissMoan · 18/03/2025 01:06

This is ludicrous! YANBU!
Please direct him to your contract and your entitlement to annual leave.
Have a fabulous vacation, far far away from work

PonyPals · 18/03/2025 02:08

Your manager would be in so much trouble I’m Australia. It has become illegal for companies to do this and there are huge penalties in

Bigpakchoi · 18/03/2025 03:36

You will have your out of office on assume saying your email has not been forwarded - please contact xxxx for assistance in my absence.

Your manager's excuse is poor and well done for holding your own and responding go his request to push back in the moment.

Employers will take what they can and you would get no thanks for this and precedence would be laid for him to expect this behaviour on all future holidays. Just no.

At the end of the day, giving work extra hours of your time just takes time away from your family and relationships- time you never get back.

Original poster
BearHuntAgain · 18/03/2025 07:22

Thank you everyone for the support. I have set my out of office to explicitly say I will not be checking emails and to forward any emails on to my colleagues including my managers email address.

I’m out of the office for the rest of this week, so I think they should be able to cope. i’m genuinely not that important that I need to be contactable.

OP posts:
reluctantbrit · 18/03/2025 07:23

SassK · 17/03/2025 23:01

I don't know what industry you're in, but this has become somewhat normalised in the age of hybrid/home working. I don't think it was unreasonable of your manager to ask the question (forwarding an email isn't a huge ask), however it was unreasonable to put pressure on you after you'd said no. He sounds a bit of a dick, maybe out of his depth.

The issue is that it becomes a slippery slope. Suddenly asking a p/t to check emails on non-work days or checking emails in the evenings if you have regular business outside the UK is normal and that is not acceptable.

Unless someone has a pay package or position where such things are part and parcel and compensated, nobody should see it as normal to check emails outside work hours.

The world does not stop and a company does not break down if an employee sorts out email cover in advance.

There is a reason I would refuse to have my private phone linked to my office emails and I never handed out my mobile number to customers, I rerouted the office phone before we got work mobiles.

PetuniaT · 18/03/2025 18:15

Don't forget to set your OOF (out of office) on your email before you go on leave so people get the message you're not there to respond and won't clog up your inbox with even more emails. Don't forget to turn it off when you return though!😮

Holidayfix · 18/03/2025 18:19

I have a fairly senior job and am (fairly) happy to pick things up/answer queries in an emergency when I'm on leave, but I refuse to routinely check email. Once you do that your head's in work, whether it needs to be or not.

I have advised boss and close colleagues that if they need me, feel free to call, but I won't see emails until I'm back. They very rarely call.

Emknewbest · 18/03/2025 18:20

You’re not being unreasonable and having worked in a job where you literally had to turn up half dead, I really get it.
however, I think you need to play the game a bit if you don’t want to find yourself being managed out.
you should have just agreed, had one token look and left it at that.

AlleycatMarie · 18/03/2025 19:15

Please ignore your boss @BearHuntAgain
It might ‘only take a few minutes’ to check your emails, but as soon as you do check, your head is thinking about work again. Your annual leave is a time to switch off from work. I would say you are setting an excellent example to your juniors, that you work hard at work, but that time away from work is valuable and you have strong boundaries. Enjoy the break!

asrl78 · 18/03/2025 19:36

Tell your manager that the UK hasn't turned into America yet despite the collective efforts of the population so you are out of the office. A competant manager will have planned for this and found cover whilst you are away.

fetchacloth · 18/03/2025 19:39

In my last job I was a department manager and I did check my emails once a day on annual leave.
However there was no way that I would have asked anyone in my team to do the same. That's not fair.

exaltedwombat · 18/03/2025 19:59

You’re perfectly entitled to refuse. Maybe they’re just taking advantage of you. Or maybe it’s an opportunity to ‘behave like a boss’. Small inconvenience, possibly big rewards?

MyOhMelody · 18/03/2025 20:33

You’re setting a good example by having boundaries, your boss is a dick. I head up HR at my place and actually need to talk to a director who emailed the whole team the other day to say he’d be checking emails while on annual leave….!

pollymere · 18/03/2025 21:27

"It's amazing how people coped before we had mobile phones isn't it?"

You are setting an excellent example to junior colleagues. Understanding Work/Life Balance is vital.

LlynTegid · 18/03/2025 21:36

Thank you OP of updating your decision, which I agree with.

Many years ago I was told that you should be suspicious of those who won't take annual leave or work during it, that they have something to hide or are up to no good. So you are avoiding any such allegation being made of you.

Sugamoma1 · 18/03/2025 22:01

I think you’re setting a great example to junior team members. You’re time off is precious and you should be able to switch off completely and enjoy it.

Dawncleo62 · 18/03/2025 22:57

If he’s so concerned he can do it himself! Have a Quiet chat with HR so you can be backed up!

neighboursmustliveon · 19/03/2025 06:27

Our COO is off this week and even her out of office states her email address is not being monitored and who to contact if it’s urgent. This is a change of pa e from previous management but it’s how it should be. Annual leave should be a time you completely switch off from work.

BeHere · 19/03/2025 06:40

Well done OP

worldwidetravel2017 · 19/03/2025 08:04

Yanbu

worldwidetravel2017 · 19/03/2025 08:06

In a job i was emailed whilst on AL
About something non urgent
And just to me

I pulled them up on it

In the end i got a verbal apology from the person who sent it

LalaPaloosa2024 · 19/03/2025 09:05

BearHuntAgain · 17/03/2025 19:46

I’m genuinely questioning whether I’m being unreasonable or my manager is.

I work in a relatively small team for a large multinational company. We’re a very busy team and there’s never enough hours in the day. Since coming back from mat leave I’ve definitely been putting stronger boundaries in place regarding my working hours.

I’m taking annual leave the rest of this week and DH are going away just the two of us for the first time since having DC2 (she’s two). it’s been a really shit 6 months and we really need this.

At the end of our team meeting my boss mentioned about taking my work phone and just checking emails at the end of the day in case there are any emergencies. I basically said no. He then emailed me after the meeting to say that I was setting a bad example to the junior members of the team.

I responded saying that it’s important for everyone to switch off on annual leave. I’d have my personal phone for them to get hold of me if an emergency. He responded reiterating it didn’t take long to check and forward on anything urgent.

Everyone in the company knows who my colleagues are and would reach out to them if urgent. I’m not so senior that I’m paid an amazing wage so it justifies being available. And I’m going to have an out of office on saying to contact my colleagues if needed.

I’m really annoyed that it’s on me to actively log into my emails to check each day (technically only away for three days).

YABU - it’s a quick check just to make sure nothing urgent has been sent.

YANBU - it’s your annual leave. It’s encroaching on your time and your team can cope for a few days without you.

I had a very inexperienced manager put in place to manage a group of us who were much older and more experienced. The appointment came after I asked for career progression. The new manager insisted we needed to log in each day on annual leave and not just forward any requests, but actually do the work. I refused. I ended up leaving and filing formal proceedings, which were settled for a large sum. So I guess a win, but no one wants to go through that even if they “win”. This was one of many issues. Ultimately the woman running the department (not my manager) was a horrible narcissist and this was just a tiny aspect of the tone she set.

Copperoliverbear · 19/03/2025 09:08

You are definitely NOT being unreasonable.

Feelinghurt2 · 19/03/2025 12:55

You are not being unreasonable. Your boss is. Paid leave was introduced for a reason....it is LEAVE. What is the point of employment laws to protect employees if they are ridden over roughshod by employers. You may as well not be on holiday if you have in the back of your mind that you have to check messages at the end of every day. And what if there is something urgent? Will you expect to take some action; i.e. do some work?

I remember some really wise words from a senior manager once. I was ill and phoned in sick. My direct line manager was on leave so I asked to speak to the next in line above my direct manager. All good. When my direct line manager came back to work, she went ballistic at me, shouting that I should have phoned HER. Even if she was on leave. I took it up with her line manager, who said okay that's all well and good, but what if your manager was drunk/taking magic mushrooms in Thailand, as she is perfectly entitled to do on her leave? Would she even have remembered that you'd phoned? Probably not. And then that would end up being my fault for phoning the wrong person. Leave is there for a reason and needs to be enjoyed. You absolutely did the right thing and should stick to your guns!