Flowers at work

[YourChirpyCoralAnt]

Husband was an absolute reptile last night and we ended up having a massive row- which I am still annoyed about today.

He's just had an absolutely HUGE bunch of flowers delivered to my work.

Now everyone is sitting saying ahhhhhhhhhhh what a lovely husband you have, isn't he lovely to send you flowers at work. Ah what's the occasion- is it just because. Aren't you a lucky girl.

Now I am even more annoyed.

Absolute first world problem I know, but I don't discuss any arguments we have with our friend group as they are normally petty and over in a day so I don't have anyone else to rant to 😂I am now sitting here listening to everyone tell me how wonderful he is when I am still in the I could wring his neck phase.😂

I voted YABU, because unless he's an absolute shit who does this kind of thing all the time it's obvious he's sorry and wants to make amends. I can understand being annoyed though. 😂

I know. He's lovely really. I am just sitting here listening to how great he is when I could quite easily give him dog food in his dinner tonight 😂

In my 33 years, no man has ever bought me flowers

No correlation of course with my current stance of being sick of men 🤭

If you don't want your colleagues to hear about your argument you'll have to grin and bare it

Tell dh he needs to do a bit more to make it up to you, dinner cooked house cleaned etc x

Depending on how well I got on with my co workers I would probably joke with them that he knows he's in the dog house hence sending them.

It depends, is he really sorry or does he just think flowers will mean you will get over it?

Personally, I would tell him everyone in the office when "wow, that's a huge bunch of lovely flowers, how badly did he fuck up?"

I hate performative apologies and also don't understand why people who live together send flowers to to work other than for show. He would have have him to you at home.

I think it is really strange and intrusive to send flowers to someone's workplace. He could have given them to you this evening at home

I'd assume anyone who is was getting flowers at work had a partner who was a narcissist tbh.

I think he's planning on me having received them and not being mad when I get home 😂. It wasn't a row over anything serious other than him being a grumpy old man. At least at work I can't throw them at him!

Agree that it seems performative to send flowers to work, and intrusive. It would give me the ice completely. I don’t understand why a private apology wouldn’t suffice.

Context is important to know whether he’s a complete arsehole or not. The argument, the regularity of arguments, was the apology genuine or is he looking for attention etc

Edited to add your comment above mine makes him sound like an arsehole. Agree with PP - I’d assume someone who received flowers at work lived with a narcissist.

It sounds like you have forgiven your "grumpy old man"! and you now have flowers too. It's all good!

I used to work with a woman who, each Valentine’s Day, would receive TWELVE dozen roses. Every year she’d pretend to be shocked and would look all doe-eyed as she waited for a taxi home instead of taking the bus as she usually did.

Her boyfriend was one of the biggest drug dealers in town and exceptionally violent with gang links. Everyone knew him.

So I’m always a big sceptical about shoawmance displays and, on a random Monday, would assume that you either had a fight with your husband, or caught him cheating.

It could be taken that he thinks you'll be slagging him off at work so by sending you flowers at work it's to belittle you and make you look like the 'crazy' for slagging him off.

Or he could be worrying that you've gone into work and they've all said 'leave the bastard' so he wants you to think of him whilst you're at work and see that he wants to make amends and is truly sorry.

You know him best and can decide on which one it is.

Dh sent me flowers decades ago.
I told him under no circumstances to do that again. To me it's as bad as a public proposal, just a performance to put him in a good light. Your Dh could have bought you flowers and gave them to you at home with an apology.

Well...I am hoping my husband isn't affiliated with any of that now 😂

Husband was an absolute reptile last night

I’ve nothing to add but this did make me laugh.

Many years ago my then husband sent me flowers at work. On Valentine's day.
My boss - who was well-connected in the local community and had an ear to the gossip of the day - brought them into my room, dumped them onto my desk and said 'what's he done wrong?' Sure enough he was playing away...

Yours is hoping to get back into your good books with this gesture. That's all it is, though, a gesture. It's whether he changes his behaviour that matters.

I voted YABU because you don't have to sit and listen to it.

"We had a row last night, that's why he sent them".

They are all older women who absolutely love a bit of gossip and I would be talk of the staff kitchen for weeks 😅

He wanted the OP’s colleagues to see how wonderful he is!

I voted YABU because he’s acknowledged he’s done wrong and tried to make amends. Though I absolutely do see how frustrating his endeavour must be!