Friend who says «ty inv» but never invites herself

[Ambergiirly1]

So «ty inv» a slang for «thanks for not inviting me»

i don’t post often on Snapchat story but i do like to post about dinners or small trips to nature «walks», when me and my partner do stuff besides from chilling at home. Some of these plans are spontaneously, so i don’t really think of inviting people to that. My friend has a 14 month old kiddo. Me and my partner do things with them more rarely now because they also busy, but not to busy to get babysitter to meet up with their other friends as it seems. But anyways, i know even if we asked them the same day it 90% wouldn’t work for them anyways, because of kiddo’s routine. So i don’t always want to gather for someones elses child. Especially on restaurants, im an aunt of two boys so i pretty much know how it is to eat out at restaurants or less child friendly things with small kids. Its a pain in the butt. But i always find my self asking to meet up but never reciving any invites back besides from «ty inv» wich for me sounds a bit passive agressive, like i could say the same when she post in snap aswell but choose not to.

I would respond with a thumbs up 👍 each time your friend uses that phrase.

I would go with 'eh? we're having a couple's day out, why would I invite anyone to that to play third wheel?'

I second the thumbs up.
What a loon.

Text her the morning of any plans and say “doing xyz at 2 pm you are welcome to join us if you are free?” Everytime ,

She sounds quite childish , her friends are allowed to do stuff without her.

@autisticbookworm this is my take aswell. We also like to be spontaneously. And for most people with small kids being spontant its just not there and they need planning. It be pretty stressful to accommodate everytime just for a quick walk at a park or shopping mall or restaurant to invite other people. Its like she expects invite from us to those things but they never invite us to things besides their other friends

@Hoydenish haha no think i may start with it🤣

@HygerTyger last weekend may have been because her partner was at work. But i think rather than «ty inv»

«oh that looks nice! We should do it one time or go there sometime aswell!» would been nicer respond than the passive agressive ty inv one. Most of the time it would have been thirdwheel with her kiddo. But its sad when she dosn’t ask us or include us in plans either but expects us to «pling pling» her phone for invites that would 90% of the time be a «ahh cant today»

Yanbu. Definitely no need to invite friend along with you and dh (or anyone). I would have to speak to her about it if she does this regularly and I want friendship to continue. Possibly she is using it wrong? (I have never heard of ty inv) or is is a bad joke. If she genuinely openly resents you doing anything without her I would distance myself.

@Ellie1015
i dont really know, feels like she expects us to invite her, kiddo and her partner to our plans but they never ask us and do most of these things we do only them or with other people and plan childfree events with other people.

think she uses it as a «why couldn’t you guys invite us?» but sometimes its pretty obvious that we can’t be bothered to invite people to every planning/activity we do.

What age is your friend? Sounds like teenage drama...

So «ty inv» a slang for «thanks for not inviting me»

Am I just old or is that really fucking dumb? Never heard of this before.

Kiddo?

@HellDorado yes, some people use the word “kiddo”. So what? No need to derail the thread.

Her friend is using it as a sarcastic "thank you for the invite" I guess?

I've never heard of it either ...

It’s hardly derailed it 🙄

I don’t think you’re unreasonable at all.

However, do make sure you look in on your friends with kids. It can be a very lonely, excluding place. This might be a cry for help from her.

My husband never lost his friends when he had kids (literally a decade before they did), however he was instantly excluded from so much (not maliciously, but he obviously couldn’t go golfing and drinking every Saturday anymore). They made no spec for stuff he could actually get involved in or even dropped round for a cuppa. It’s only now that they are having kids that they realise what they did.

Just reply with 'lets plan something when you next have a sitter'.

Is she posting 'tyfti' when you post pictures of yourselves on the walks etc, or when you actually invite her to something. From the title I thought it was the former but reading the post I'm not sure

Just respond and say ' family day out' or 'you wanted to come on our date?. That will soon stop it.

Why would she have a sitter unless she'd already got something booked?

I never heard this expression before.
So basically your friend comments this when you post photos family days out or trips somewhere? She is very rude. And having 14 months y.o. is not an excuse.
The first time I would ask her clearly and simply what did she mean by that comment. And after her explanation I would tell her that it was your family event. And stop there. If she wants to do something together she should have expressed it differently.
If she would continue posting I wouldn’t comment at all , just leave it there.

Simple solution - don't post the fact that you went for a walk on social media.

Well she's a weird fucker isn't she!

Totally this!

The best response to << ty inv >> is:

"For what? We didn't invite you. Why would we?"