Am I expecting too much?

[Honeysucklelane]

My DH is great at practical tasks, he’ll iron, food shop, put washing on, taxi kids about etc. But whenever I’m ill he’ll do everything else but take care of me. He’ll also make stupid comments like, “what’s wrong, you look like you’ve lost £10 and found 1p?”

Yesterday he told me I looked really pissed off and like I didn’t want to be there after persuading me to come out for a bit.

Ill with a chest infection atm and on an inhaler, antibiotics and steroids, which suggests my GP thought I was ill enough to warrant medication. I feel rubbish, but I’ve been soldiering on as best as possible.

I dread being ill and hate it as he always seems to make me feel worse. I guess you could argue he takes care by doing practical stuff around the house, but there’s nothing in the way of sympathy or any kind of emotional support and he expects me to look cheerful. Is this just a man thing?

Thank you. The lack of empathy is the worse tbh. I’m not expecting him to do loads around the house, I wouldn’t even mind if he just came and watched TV with me. It’s like he physically and emotionally removes himself and gets annoyed that I’m not looking happy, and doesn’t ask how I’m feeling. It’s been going on for a week now, I’m sure he thinks I should be back to normal by now! Wish I was.

He sounds really awful.
The measure of a man is how he behaves when you are vulnerable, and he is really shit.
Your mistake was accepting this.
Punishing you because you are ill are the actions of a nastiness u kind man.

If you are on antibiotics and steroids, you are ill.
You need rest and recuperation.

Can you move to a seperate bedroom?
You need to rest up snd you really need to rethink your relationship.

This is not a good man.
Certainly not one that you ever want to have ill health with.

During Covid a woman I know was very ill. Married a long time with two grown up children. Her husband was like yours, always very dismissive of her or the children being ill.
Never showed any kindness apparently.
Very much an attitude of get on with it and stop complaining.
She thought she was used to it.
Her friends dropping over care packages were kinder to her.
She recovered and then he got it a couple of weeks later.
She visited her sister and told him to crack on like she had when she received his poor me texts.
He was slow to recover and she realised that she no longer loved him.
They divorced last year and he has long Covid.
She is happy with her decision.
It wasn't the only reason they divorced but she said it chipped away at how she viewed him and she realised she didn't want to retire with him.
His life is very different now.
His grown up kids are not around for him much either.