Would you over extend yourself with this house purchase if you were me?

[Proopo]

Dh and I have found just the most gorgeous home. It needs some tlc and modernisation but it could be absolutely spectacular. Location is superb, dog walks would be like a page out of The Wind in the Willows. It feels so rural but it is only a few miles from a very pretty town. Well several. Plus excellent transport links into London

It is at the extreme end of our budget. Dh and I have had some tough few years and were really planning on the next move bringing peace into our Iives. But this opportunity with the house is so compelling.

We would probably put in a brand new kitchen before we moved in and then just do a room at a time. The reception rooms and bedrooms don’t really need doing and the bathrooms are in good nick just very ugly

We really wanted to move somewhere that didn’t need a lick of paint if we were to go towards the top of our budget

Didn’t you just go home with friends after school and then get picked up?

I genuinely had no problem with having a social life. No one I went to school with lived in walking distance from one another anyway. We all got dropped off/caught the bus into town on Saturdays. How social is a 10 yo?

I think some people are blowing things out of proportion

No I didn’t. Not all parents have time or willingness to be taxis.

my 10 year old does lots of activities and sports. But sure they are all different, some prefer to stay home.

you asked for views, don’t ask if you don’t believe other people’s experiences.

I wouldn't. Peace is priceless, be it financial or otherwise.

This doesn't happen anymore.

Parents drive the children or they don't go places. Rural living today is nothing like 10 years ago let alone any further back.

If you don't want opinions then go for it. Buy it.

Longer working hours, both parents working, the increase in wrap around care, technology which means you can't just sneak on the school bus means this doesn't happen anymore.

Children do not have the freedom like we did growing up. Even if yours are allowed, their friends won't

What stops teens catching buses into town these days?

What difference does it make if a child is catching a bus from a suburb into the centre or a village?

50% of your income, wanting to start a family, house needs a renovation, consumer costs all over the place with political economics.

No chance. You'd be mad to put yourselves at such a high risk position.

Yeah I think you are right

I raised my family in a large, old house in a village and it was a great time! You've already lived that life so you know all the pitfalls of rural living and how to overcome them. We never did replace the kitchen (we just painted it) or redecorate all of the rooms (ceilings were very high and we couldn't be arsed!) but I loved that house and my family (all grown & gone now) have wonderful memories of the life we had there.

If it’s 50% of your income just to service the mortgage, how do you propose paying the extortionate nursery fees to allow you to earn your portion of the 100%, from which that 50% needs to be paid? Brutally, renovations or no renovations, you cannot afford it. Nursery full time will be £1k a month minimum where you live.

The only way I would even vaguely consider this would be if it turns out the income is earned 90% by your high earning husband and 10% by you, in which case it would come down to what does it leave you to live on if he covers all costs in their entirety.

I haven’t read all your posts and the house sounds idyllic. However, we have a one year old and live in a lovely house only 1.5 miles from a train station direct to London. We are looking to move to a small town/ large village though. Even though it’s only a half hour walk to the station, it’s not walkable because it’s a 40mph road with no footpath. Our village has no shops so you have to drive everywhere.

I get the train to work which is only 40 mins but it’s actually up to 90 minutes once you factor in the mile walk/cycle/bus either side.

Its only once we had a child that this bothers me. You have to get a car everywhere. You can’t take the pushchair along the nice footpaths.

I would look for a smaller house in one of the nice towns nearby. That’s what we are planning as soon as we can.

It’s not even that rural imo. I would be commuting to London daily. A good sized town is a 5 ish min drive away.

Yes but not a compromise your future children are choosing to make. Just be really careful about accessibility for older kids to see their friends and go out, if you are planning on being there a long time.

Also we only have a bus twice a day. At 9:20 and 9:40 and back at 12pm and 1pm so no point getting a bus. And a dangerous walk to the station.

And think about who they would be getting the bus with. Are there lots of children of a similar age nearby or would the bus be on their own?

You’ll never know in advance how possible children will turn out so make your plans as they suit you and to fit your finances patience and time now!

having always bought properties that would benefit from being done up I’d say go for it! Location is all and you clearly like this one.

I think you’ll find the peace you seek by being in a property and place you love, regardless, property work can be done a bit at a time.

Id leave the kitchen for now - live there for a year and see what matters the most to you both going forward.

I would go for it, but recheck the finances with children in childcare and after school club.
I think the kitchen is perfectly fine for now, I suppose the dilemma would be if you don't start works straight away then do you ever?
What does your DH think?

what Would your disposable income be and what will the likely cost and income impact be of having children.

i bought my dream house four years ago. I love it. Mortgage payments are double what I had. The house is more expensive to run, to heat, to furnish.

had I stayed in my old house or bought a cheaper house I would have a better car on the driveway. What I am now getting a bit annoyed about is I have less money for holidays and I am not saving nearly as much as I used to - and my savings have disappeared on home improvements!

but I can afford it - I am not in financial difficulty and my job is secure. But it is a trade off

Why I think you should: it’s the location you want and you say you love the house.

Why I think you shouldn’t: you’re talking about putting a brand new kitchen in place of a perfectly serviceable one after already stretching your budget.

I'm hopeless with money and crazily romantic about homes! 26 years ago my dream house came up. It needed EVERYTHING! Wiring, heating, damp, rotten floor joists! You name it we needed it. We spent every last penny on buying the house.
26 years later our home is done. I know no one, family or friends, who don't love it. It has character and charisma but mostly it is comfortable, warm and like a giant hug!

I say if you want a house because it's talking to you, listen and make it happen! (But I am hopeless with money 🤣❤️)

Personally, I would consider the amount of money you are considering spending here against your 5 and 10 year plan.
As you say you are hoping to start a family, it’s likely that mat leave and nursery costs will play a part in the next 5 years.
Also, from experience of living in a similar part of the world (I’m guessing - you can see where from
my username), commuting to/from London while managing nursery drop offs and pick ups is no fun at all.
Looking at the 10 year plan, is where you are planning to buy good in terms of schooling?
If this house is only intended to last you the early years of family life, perhaps it isn’t wise to choose something requiring a lot of work (and therefore money) if what you are really hankering after is some green space and peace. Then look to move again in 5 years with a mind to schools.
I have a friend who has moved 3 times in the last 5 years in this area because they didn’t think sensibly about the repercussions of what they were doing.

I wouldn't. It's hard to imagine now just how mentally, physically and financially draining having kids is. Juggling a baby, a reduced income (either from working less or paying childcare) with a house that needs work but was at your max budget won't bring you peace. Starting a family isn't always a straight path. That can drain your finances too.

Upper end of your budget means not enough money to make the changes you want.
If you want a quiet peaceful existence then don't do it.

Where on earth would you live if you redid the kitchen before you moved in?

Why do people keep referring to extortionate nursery fees now? This is outdated information. It’s not anymore for the last year or 2. Children who are 9 months + can get 15 free hours per week and 3 year olds get 30 free hours per week. This is as long as you (and your partner) each keep your earnings under £100k pa.
This is a considerable reduction so I don’t believe childcare costs £1000s anymore like people refer to, I certainly don’t pay much and I have 3 under 4.

No. Not unless you can comfortably afford it.

we’re moving out of London for a nicer lifestyle (close to where I was raised), would like to start a family

Dc are expensive so I wouldn't over extend on a house