Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Teaching- any other jobs that make you cry regularly?

363 replies

Whosaidthattt · 16/03/2025 00:21

I quit teaching last year, after years in a negative, toxic environment, which I thought was my fault.
Most days, I cried on the way to work, at lunchtime in a cupboard or driving home. I now see that this was the culture rather than me. It took changing a 20 year career to see this.
Is there any other job out there that has staff regularly crying before/during/after work? It's so wrong!

OP posts:
ThatOliveHedgehog · 16/03/2025 09:05

This is a really sad thread to read. We owe a lot to those working front line roles in teaching, health and social care sector who are dealing with all these stresses. These are vocational roles that people should be able to stay in for their entire careers, but it just doesn’t seem possible anymore as burn out is so high.

I’m a speech and language therapist in the NHS. It is a stressful role as we have long waits and don’t have the capacity to offer the input that we know children desperately need. BUT we at least do have an hour per appointment and a very supportive team surrounding us. I rarely cry at work. I see how hard our teaching colleagues work and it’s a different world.

ShagratandGorbag4ever · 16/03/2025 09:06

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Those teachers had less to contend with in terms of pupil behaviour and parental expectations than modern teachers do.The likelihood of a pupil telling a nun to fuck off was pretty low, and if it happened, the nun would have been at liberty to crack the pupil over the head with a ruler; in fact, it was probably encouraged for the good of the pupil's soul.

Hairyesterdaygonetoday · 16/03/2025 09:06

I’ve had many different jobs over the decades. The only time I remember crying because of the job itself was as a teaching assistant. It wasn’t a heavy workload or a rough school. But I was young and eager to please, and the kids (age 12-14) knew they could play me up. I left in tears one day.

At the time, I was planning to train as a teacher. I’m so glad I had the chance to find out that wasn’t the career for me!

Some stress is unavoidable. But there’s no excuse for bullying by colleagues or management, or rudeness by service users.

Sending love and hugs to everyone having a bad time at work, especially in the essential services eg teaching, healthcare, social work.

RoseMarigoldViolet · 16/03/2025 09:07

Mischance · 16/03/2025 08:43

And we have so many posters on this site badgering/cajoling/bribing their children to pass their exams and setting total store by education - for what? ...... to finish up in jobs that are so stressful they make you cry.

The world is crazy.

This is thought provoking …

AchNo · 16/03/2025 09:08

I don't think I've ever cried due to work. I've had a few public facing roles and people can be awful but nothing has made me cry, I think I box work into a different compartment in my brain.

Didshejustsaythatoutloud · 16/03/2025 09:14

Prettybubblesintheair · 16/03/2025 01:16

Healthcare receptionist. Regularly shouted at for things that are out of my control, not my fault or because my hands are tied by government requirements. Do you really think I get a kick out of asking you to fill in a form, do you think it’s a hobby I do for fun? I speak to 100+ patients a day and generally repeat the same things over and over. I’m sorry your healthcare provider is running late, they aren’t even in the building yet because they can’t be arsed to get here on time but you’re right, it makes perfect sense you shout at me about it. Do you think I want you sat in the waiting room glaring at me because your appointment is late? And yes, I do understand “I do work you know, I don’t have all day”…funnily enough I also work, here in fact! I’m not here because I’ve completed Netflix and had nothing better to do. I am here, at my job, on time…would you like me to try and teleport the healthcare provider so you can have your appointment and be on your way? Because believe me, I would much, much rather you were seen on time. Yes, this provider is always late and has had several disciplinary warnings but they are still at least 45 minutes late, every day.

Next time you’re at the doctors or the dentist, please just fill in the fucking forms without arguing with reception. We know you’ve been here before, we are very well trained in which forms are required and when. And if your doctor/dentist is running late, don’t shout at the receptionist. She is there, on time, doing her job. The fact that your health care provider went to uni does not give them the right to be late, they’re not off doing something big or important. They’re grabbing a Starbucks on the way in or scrolling tik tok in the surgery.

Oooh, is this why many gp/dentist reception staff are horrible to us nice polite people. Take it out on all of us. 😂

HelenWheels · 16/03/2025 09:16

community carer
knowing you just dont have enough time to provide optimum care

Didshejustsaythatoutloud · 16/03/2025 09:18

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Hilarious😂 The nuns of the 1920s were too busy making others cry.
Your too funny 😁

Slowhorses1 · 16/03/2025 09:19

Poppins2016 · 16/03/2025 07:37

IANA(C)L, however I have friends who are...

Pressure, long hours, demanding bosses...I've observed that people who do that job tend to be high achieving and self critical, with similarly high achieving and critical bosses, who don't react well to even small mistakes. Pleasing the client (to close deals/bring in the money) is the most important thing, even if it means you're up all night several nights in a row/working on your days off when you should be looking after your children ("that's what you're paid a high salary for").

I think this is a really insightful post. Obviously there are plenty of jobs where the conditions or environment are toxic. But it’s interesting to consider the personality types drawn to particular jobs, and if that makes them more vulnerable to feeling emotional about work. So in the cases quoted it is because they’re self-critical and high achieving types. In the cases of teachers / people in healthcare etc it might be because they are particularly empathetic and went into a career motivated by the desire to help. Add in external factors or toxic work environments and it’s going to be even worse.

Mumof1andacat · 16/03/2025 09:19

Admin - I know but I have had some managers be so cruel and nasty. You are lower than them and they will address and treat you so you know your place.

ElorinFae · 16/03/2025 09:20

Headteacher.

Why do adults treat each other so badly?

Why are some adults not able to follow policy?

Why do some children have such a poor quality of life?

Why is OFSTED the worst experience ever?

Why have I not had a full nights sleep from the day I started by job?

Crapola25 · 16/03/2025 09:23

@ShagratandGorbag4ever busy morning trolling?

Alabamasunset · 16/03/2025 09:24

Prettybubblesintheair · 16/03/2025 05:20

I’m actually very good at my job and despite what I’ve written, I’m polite and helpful to every patient. It’d just be nice if people used a bit of common sense and realised I’m asking them to fill in a form for a reason, not because I think it’s a laugh. And I am not the reason your healthcare provider is running late, shouting at me won’t get them here any quicker.

I don't understand why anyone does healthcare reception work. It's major stress for minimum wage. So of you're being paid minimum wage, why not go and work in Waitrose instead?
I am a clinician in a medical centre. I look at all our lovely receptionists who have to deal with rude and complaining and abusive patients who get irate and vent at the receptionist, and I just don't understand why they do it for a job. They are on minimum hourly rate. It's an outrage. They could go and work in a nice shop or garden centre for the same money and have a much nicer time at work.
I also think if all healthcare receptionists walked out and got other jobs, then the pay might get increased. It's a disgrace what healthcare receptionists are paid.

Newyearnewmewoooop · 16/03/2025 09:24

Social work

Wonderberry · 16/03/2025 09:26

Doctor, the workload, abuse from other staff and patients, and the truly traumatic events we witness and are involved in, together with no pastoral support and poor working conditions

alexisccd · 16/03/2025 09:26

Corporate law. Fuck me. I’m doing ok now i’m senior but my husband had two huge mental breakdowns where he sat and rocked in a corner. You need to be really robust to get through the junior years and the ongoing nonstop stress and lack of sleep from long hours and weekend working take its toll. You are incredibly well paid but it’s like being bled dry while you are alive. I’m really selling it aren't I….

Fallulah · 16/03/2025 09:27

I cried more in my NHS management job than I have since I career changed to teaching. My boss there was an absolute micro managing loon (think she realised they didn’t actually need two Band 8s and was constantly getting involved and nit picking to prove her worth - shortly after I left and wasn’t replaced, they got a new chief exec and my old boss disappeared).

My teacher crying is always rooted in frustration.

ConflictofInterest · 16/03/2025 09:27

I've never seen so many adults cry until I did an admin role in a hospital. Nurses and doctors cry all the time, I was shocked. It was the worst job I've ever had as they all took it out on me as the next rung down too. Horrible place. I didn't cry though I just left. Whereas most of them had been there 20 years plus and seemed trapped in a hell of their own making.

northerngirly · 16/03/2025 09:28

Working in theatre made me cry most days at times.

Ilovelurchers · 16/03/2025 09:28

For balance, I have been a teacher for two and a half decades and worked in a variety of workplaces, and have never cried regularly because of it. Some schools have suited me more than others, and when I have found myself in a workplace culture I don't enjoy I have moved on.

I love my current workplace (large comprehensive in an area of high deprivation, so on paper challenging, but it's a great school and community I think). I never cry. Most days I feel grateful and privileged to work there.

There is a lot of bad press about teaching as a profession. Many of us still absolutely love it, honestly - i guess we just don't write articles/start threads about our love for it very often, so it's possible to get a skewed perspective......

If someone hates it so much it makes them cry regularly, I would suggest changing schools first off - and if you still hate it after trying a few schools,you may have to accept it's not tge career for you, But it's varied and interesting and I think most people can enjoy it and be successful as teachers in the right context.

Marchingintoapril · 16/03/2025 09:30

Full time carer to my severely disabled teenage son.
Obviously I love him to bits, but I cry at the thought of not existing as a person beyond my role of carer.
It can get quite isolating.

HelenWheels · 16/03/2025 09:33

as an primary school ina/ta my dd was regularly brought to tears, i so wish i had encouraged her to leave rather than stick it out.
she left at the end of the summer term.

ElfinsMum · 16/03/2025 09:35

Occasionally reduced to tears by big 4 tech consulting. Similar reasons to the PP lawyers i imagine.

Crushed between unreasonable clients, unreasonable bosses and unreasonable targets.

I do sometimes wonder if I am just a poor personality fit for my industry. Ironically I am attracted to teaching but all the posts on MN about what a nightmare it is and the long hours scare me.

medlow · 16/03/2025 09:35

EggFriedRiceAndChips · 16/03/2025 00:42

Corporate law. Every single day.

Shit my son has just started that after working as a paralegal whilst he finished his degree. Same firm. What was it you hated? The hours, the pressure?

Sherry1978 · 16/03/2025 09:37

JeanGenieJean · 16/03/2025 01:23

Your post is why I am always polite to receptionists, even the moody ones, because you have to put up with so much. I imagine you above anyone else wishes everything ran smoothly.
A bit of respectful politeness costs nothing and makes things less stressful for people in your job.

My son choked when he was a 5 year old and was saved by a massive ex army neighbour. Everyone told me to take him to A&E to get checked to see of everything was OK. I will never forget the receptionist. She didn't look up at us once and said "why are you here? He survived didn't he?" . I couldn't believe it. There are good and bad out there!