Child Benefit Rival Claim Ex Partner Earning Loads!!!!!

[ProlongedAffair]

Me and my ex share 50/50 of our two children, it’s not court ordered but has been in place for the past few years. A few months ago I put in a claim for CMS and was awarded it, they see me as the primary carer because I get both children’s child benefits. I also discovered my ex is earning a 6 figure salary.

Last week I got a letter from child benefit saying that he is challenging my claim. I said to the lady that he earns too much to claim and I suspect he’s only claiming so he can try to get out of CMS. She told me that because he has the children for half the time and child benefit isn’t means tested, the likelihood is they will award child benefit one each! Surely that can’t be correct, can anyone advise who has been through their rival claims process?? He will then be able to claim CMS from me!!

😘

This thread is actually really difficult to read.

Basically, the OP thinks she should get CM because he earns more than her - even though they have the children 50/50. Unfortunately, you are not married and not in a relationship so you’re not entitled to any of his money. His children are, but they get that when they are with him 50% of the time. He should get CM for one child and if you’re claiming CMS from him why shouldn’t he claim it from you? Yes he out earns you but frankly that’s none of your business and I can’t for one second understand why you think you’re entitled to any of it.

There doesn't need to be any spite.

She could accept that he does what he does in his 50% of the time and he could accept that she does what she does in her 50% of the time and money doesn't need to be discussed.

If there's spite over money, CM won't affect that. We pay CM and BM still competes with us. We booked a trip to Lapland, so she booked a trip to Florida. We push the boat out for a special present for SD, she buys a bigger one. It doesn't make our time any less fun to be honest.

I’ve no idea? I have two kids with an ex. I know. Don’t speak to me like I don’t know about kids either two households on different salaries.

They still don’t lose out. They aren’t entitled to the same lifestyle in both houses. That’s life. It is not anyone’s responsibility to pay towards their ex if they are supporting their kids 50% of the time. The kids get the lifestyle each parent can give them, they don’t lose anything because it’s not theirs to begin with.

This 100%.

Legally she is entitled to claim child support if CMS agree with her claim.

I don’t think the OP has said if she is struggling but with everything, bills food childcare increasing in price maybe she is and she needs to put that claim in to afford to get by? It’s not always simple as “just earn more money” like at least one person above said 🙄

Yes, it's correct. My ex-husband did just that. We had two sons 50/50 and he put in a rival claim for the eldest. I was earning around £20k pa at the time, he was earning well in excess of £100k. So he had to pay back the entire amount of CB as way over threshold, but wanted to prevent my son from having it via me. All about revenge for leaving him, and meanwhile I struggled to afford things like new furniture for our new privately rented place (I left due to coercive control).
The good news is I actually had the last laugh for his atrocious behaviour as I since went on to have another child with my second husband and of course two-child cap but I get CB for her and my other son.

So they gave it to him?

But he won't get any of the child benefit, because he earns six figures. So he will simply be depriving the kids of the extra money their mother gets for them from DWP. He won't benefit and the children's much lower earning other parent will lose out - and by extension, so will the children.

How is reducing the money your child's other parent has to spend on them, when it doesn't come from your pocket and you won't get a single penny yourself, make sense?

We also don't know if she's the lower earner because she took a career break when the kids were tiny, for example. In which case he absolutely benefited from her unpaid labour, which has had a lifelong impact on her own earning capacity. That may not be the case here, but it's pretty common.

That's not his problem. He is not responsible for her, only half of the children's needs, which he is covering by having them 50% of the time.

If she's struggling to survive then there are a few avenues she can go down, but trying to trick CMS into awarding her a payment which she's not entitled to with a 50/50 arrangement was never going to go her way.

50/50 and you want the child benefit and child maintenance. Poor bloke

@everychildmatters there isn't a 2 child cap for child benefit. You can claim it for any number of children you are responsible for

Totally agree. We have my DSD 50:50, DH continues to pay a small amount of maintenance as privately agreed (CMS calculation online is zero) and his ex claims the child benefit (we couldn’t be arsed disputing it). Some women are just raised with a sense of entitlement to men’s money and it’s embarrassing in 2025. We should all be capable of supporting ourselves and 50% of our children’s needs.

@ProlongedAffair Yes they did. It was a huge financial struggle, especially as I was setting up a new home and only working pt as my youngest was only 3.
I did call HMRC to explain he was over threshold but they said he still had every right to claim and then pay back, even though that was effectively taking money away from my child.

There isn’t a two child cap on child benefit. The two child cap is for universal credit.

He won't get any money from CB which is probably why he had no issue with her claiming all of it before.

However, she is now using the fact she gets CB to try and take money from him, because it makes her officially the primary carer, even though in reality she does the same amount of care as him.

In order to defend himself, he's now setting out to prove they have equal care and the first step is claiming half of the CB. If she hadn't gone after his income, she could have kept the CB.

OP was happy to lodge a CMS claim to deprive them of money at their father’s house.

She should have just left it as it was, but the red-mist jealousy over six figures took over.

@JoyousEagle Ah I see - I assumed it was for CB as well as UC. I've never had UC so no idea how it works. Thanks for clarifying.

But if she’s struggling to feed them properly or heat the house? Hypothetically. Is he not responsible for his children’s needs at all? And vice versa. So if he had a medical emergency while the kids were with him on his time and had literally no one to leave them with she should say “nah mate that’s your problem to take care of them while you bleed out/go into cardiac arrest/whatever”? Because as a mother I couldn’t and wouldn’t switch off like that if they were with their other parent and not me, if they were in need at least.

@Bailamosse If ex is earning six figures he would have to pay back all CB.

And the financial split is discussed at divorce proceedings- after that it's a clean break.

He’s doing it to stop the CMS claim OP lodged.

@ProlongedAffair
How many more times are you going to ask the same thing? HMRC have told you. Everyone on here has told you.

He is going to succeed in his claim. They 100% will award him one of the kids CB and you the other. You’re going to have to get used to it.