Child Benefit Rival Claim Ex Partner Earning Loads!!!!!

[ProlongedAffair]

Me and my ex share 50/50 of our two children, it’s not court ordered but has been in place for the past few years. A few months ago I put in a claim for CMS and was awarded it, they see me as the primary carer because I get both children’s child benefits. I also discovered my ex is earning a 6 figure salary.

Last week I got a letter from child benefit saying that he is challenging my claim. I said to the lady that he earns too much to claim and I suspect he’s only claiming so he can try to get out of CMS. She told me that because he has the children for half the time and child benefit isn’t means tested, the likelihood is they will award child benefit one each! Surely that can’t be correct, can anyone advise who has been through their rival claims process?? He will then be able to claim CMS from me!!

@Quinlan You're right, they will. He will have to pay it all back in tax but rather that than his child actually benefit from CB, eh?

For how long and on what basis?

Of course if my child's other parent didn't have food or heating I'd want to help if we separated, as a one off or an emergency. If it was regular, I'd want to know, what is he earning and what is he spending those earnings on? Why am I having to subsidise my ex's lifestyle? If he can't accommodate the children or provide for their needs, should they be there at all?

This happens all the time when Mums send their kids to their Dad's only to get a phone call asking for £20 to stock the fridge or top up the heating meter. The general response to this is that it's deadbeat behaviour and Dad needs to get on top of managing his finances and stop sponging.

Well the child is benefitting from a lot more than that in CMS now anyway due to OPs claim so the kids are hardly starving as a result

Depends how the divorce is managed. Not everyone has legal advice (hence why not everyone has a clean break). I know a surprising number of people who decided to forgo legal advice when divorcing on the grounds that it is just too expensive. The idea that not having the split be fair may be even more so doesn't always impinge, and in fairness if there aren't major assets, even a pension, they may be correct.

Difficult to know what to say here as I don't really understand why you think you should get CMS or all the CB, other than "but he earns more".

You have 50/50.

@ToKittyornottoKitty I don't know how she's getting CM if it's 50/50? Ex can challenge that.

Incidentally, there's nothing in the OP to say that they were ever married, either. In which case domestic contributions are ignored on splitting. CM is the sole duty the non-SAHP ever has to the other.

We don't know the story so it may not be relevant. But there's a lot of assumptions being made in the other direction here.

If he has both DC 50/50 I don't see why you should get CMS for them. He let you claim the CB for both. Now you've put in a claim for CMS he has retaliated by putting in a claim for CB. Yes, if he has 50/50 care he is entitled to put on a claim for one DC, whether he gets any money for it he probably doesn't care. He's just stopping you being greedy.

OP - you shouldn't be receiving CMS if it's 50/50 and your ex has every right to challenge this. Salaries are irrelevant here. Assuming you work?

You've been told several times he has a high chance of getting it because your arrangement is 50/50.

But he won't get any of the child benefit, because he earns six figures. So he will simply be depriving the kids of the extra money their mother gets for them from DWP. He won't benefit and the children's much lower earning other parent will lose out - and by extension, so will the children.

Wrong... he will benefit, because each having 1 child CB is likely to weaken OPs already weak argument for getting cms from him, and so he may not have to pay her cms.

@PinkyFlamingo As a 50/50 parent for many years I can tell her this...

1. He can claim CB for one child if they have two.
2. He can stop paying CM as none is due.

Did you read the OP? They had an amicable coparenting relationship that stretched back for several years. If the OP had not decided to start a CMS claim despite the fact they have 50:50 custody then they would have continued having an amicable coparenting relationship.

If she wanted to do the best thing for her children why did she decide to throw such a big spanner in the works?

But if she’s struggling to feed them properly or heat the house? Hypothetically. Is he not responsible for his children’s needs at all?

Is OP not? There are threads on here where a low paid man is paying very little cm. He is invariably cast as a lazy deadbeat for failing to earn more to support his kids.

But if the low paid parent is a woman? Zero judgement & the father should feel obliged to top up her income/continue keeping her in a more comfortable lifestyle "for the kids".

Because there's a vast difference in incomes and, presumably, lifestyles.

You could see the children spend every other week enjoying a leisurely breakfast served in the orangery by staff, after which they may ride around the grounds in their go-karts with real engines, hop in the pool or jog down to the courts for their lesson with a tennis pro (etc), then the alternate weeks' breakfasts are peanut butter on toast in the kitchen with a harassed Mum who needs to get to work, swimming once a week at the council leisure centre and rounders in a muddy park with jumpers for bases.

Clearly, neither home is bad - and this might be 'character building' (can you tell I'm an old codger who grew up poor?!) It's also confusing and unnecessary. The wealthy parent can and should contribute enough to permit the kids to enjoy at least some of their habitual comforts while at both homes.

I know a couple in a similar situation. They get CB for one kid each and then claim CMS from each other. One is due to pay £780 a month, the other £200. For a while it was peaceful so one just paid £580. Now things are bitter the actually each pay their amounts so their is an accurate record of it.

Hard disagree. It’s not for one parent to subside the other long-term.

Quite possibly, although each decision is different. Google 'Murphy child benefit' and review the case, its quite recent. You can quote it in the HMRC appeals process if you feel it is relevant. The judge looked at the impact the child benefit decision would have and who would stand to lose the most, as per HMRC procedures. You may want to get some legal / CAS advice to help with any HMRC appeal.

He won't benefit

He will benefit to the tune of only being liable for CM for one child.

Financially that will be considerably worth his while.

They are absolutely going to award him
one child . Unless you fight it now with information .
The questions I commented with earlier were to see if there was any way he wouldn’t be entitled .

I’ve read your updates and you just keep asking the same question .
Even if it’s 50/50 and you are the resident parent then maybe he won’t be awarded but you can only answer the questions truthfully and see if you can then call child benefit and update the information in your favour .

They are not subsidising the parent! They're subsidising their own children.

Exactly. If I was a man in these circumstances I’d be offering to take the children full time and facilitate regular contact visits until the ex sorted herself and her home environment out, not just handing her money. It’s the responsibility of the Mum to heat her home and feed her children during her custodial time, just as it is for the Dad during his.

That can happen in their own home and the children can vote with their feet.

Anyways, OP’s ex will likely have the CB claim approved and be able to counter the CMS claim.

So he should support the kids whilst they are with him, and also support you to support them, oh and the tax payer should also subsidise you supporting them too? Do you plan on using any of your own actual earned money to bring up your kids? You know, money you’ve earned from actually working?

Not likely but if he earns just over £100k and puts 20% into his pension then he'd keep some of the Child Benefit. Child Benefit is withdrawn gradually between £60k and £80k.
Clearly that's not likely the motivation here.

How dare he take 'my' money just after I've taken 'his' money.