Child Benefit Rival Claim Ex Partner Earning Loads!!!!!

[ProlongedAffair]

Me and my ex share 50/50 of our two children, it’s not court ordered but has been in place for the past few years. A few months ago I put in a claim for CMS and was awarded it, they see me as the primary carer because I get both children’s child benefits. I also discovered my ex is earning a 6 figure salary.

Last week I got a letter from child benefit saying that he is challenging my claim. I said to the lady that he earns too much to claim and I suspect he’s only claiming so he can try to get out of CMS. She told me that because he has the children for half the time and child benefit isn’t means tested, the likelihood is they will award child benefit one each! Surely that can’t be correct, can anyone advise who has been through their rival claims process?? He will then be able to claim CMS from me!!

If you were smart OP you’d agree to drop the CMS but ask to keep the CB claim for each child.

Oh ok should have read into it more

Start thinking about evidence for this primary cater claim. Eg is it you who takes time off work if they are ill?

It depends who the children are staying with.

But for example, I will sign the permission forms for school trips and he will send half the money. Or I will organise the GP appointments and whoever the children are staying with is who takes them. That’s the sort of admin I mean.

Why are you unable to accept that you are equal carer with your ex?

Because then she’d have to accept she isn’t entitled to both CMS and CB and that doesnt align with her goals

This!!

OP just clearly stated its shared. She signs the forms and he pays the bills, her own example. What a terrible inequality she suffers! (That's sarcasm in case the OP is too dense to realise)

Hey @ProlongedAffair

When you get the paperwork through and you lose the CB for one child. All the CMS for that child. All the UC you're claiming for that child. And have to pay him CMS for the child now seen as "his", are you going to run up and down outside the CMS office yelling "but he's got a good job, give me money!!"

You are. Aren't you.

I'm here for when they award him CB for both, because that's what he's entitled too. Hope you aren't relying on UC paying your rent because you're more fucked than you know if you are.

You really aren't absorbing this are you?

How many school trips or gp/dentists appointments are there per year?

Do you see that in your example there you have to undergo admin for a job (such as signing a form 1 minute max) and he ALSO has to undergo admin to send you half (also probably one minute max).

Do you see that where you made the gp appointment (benefit of the doubt 5 mins on the phone making the call) but he takes them on his time (travel plus waiting plus a 10 minute appointment) that the actual taking them is more admin that the call.

Do you see at all... after 30 pages of people telling you you aren't looking at this right.. that anyone might have a point in arguing you are not, in fact, doing more than he is..

I didn’t think about any of the other benefits and I imagine this situation has transpired because OP has tried to get more CMS than she’s strictly entitled to. She could have kept her mouth shut.

@ProlongedAffair

Started happening! Hilarious.
It's a direct consequence of your behaviour.

You found out that your ex earns a six figure salary and fancied gettting your hands on some of it.
Well, your actions have consequences.
As previously mentioned, the best thing you can do is withdraw your claim for CMS on the understanding that he withdraws his claim for the CB.

Taking a chance on any other result is madness.

It’s honestly an impressive accomplishment to have gotten mumsnet rooting this enthusiastically for a male ex in a split-care situation. At least you can cling to that during the find out portion of this exercise.

out of interest, OP, what did you expect him to do when you blew things up?

If you get any housing costs through UC the child will no longer count as they are not resident. That can have a massive impact with bedrooms allowed etc

Assuming OP wasn’t lying about salaries in her first post, she’s making £60-70K and the father is making in the low six-figures. So I’m guessing housing benefits won’t be a downside… but it also emphasizes how grabby this woman has been. She’s not struggling to get by, she just got jealous when she found out that her ex was earning more and wanted a cut to [as she said] put in savings for holidays and such.

You’ve also said he pays for private dental and medical cover for them, so if you’re going to go down the route of counting how many forms you do, you can’t claim to do all of the medical/dental admin.

If you did/do then that would be fair .
i think of you had out down ALL the facts form the start it be an easy answer.
doctors
hospital
dentist ( you already said he pays)
school trips
I could go on but you won’t do that.
if you write it ALL down you would see for yourself what’s fair
ypu do deserve it if it goes truthfully you do more mentaly or physically .
right now he does half and pays more and has had then one more day.
You really are going to have to dig deep to win this one truthfully .

If she was making 60k she wouldn’t be getting a child benefit either.

Have you imagined this?

I can't see anywhere that states her earnings

It was in her previous thread before this one. When she asked if she should go after ex due to him earning six figures and 300 responses said no you already get £300 per month from him and it will destroy the goodwill.. like exactly what's happening now.

@Mooselooseinmyhoose she can’t be earning to be bothered about CB…

@AlwaysCoffee25 Incorrect. At 60K of gross earnings a single parent would have a reduced child benefit but would still received a benefit. But if OP has a partner living with her then she may receive the full amount.

@LePetitMaman OP had a previous thread about this under a different username about a month ago. It's very clearly the same poster. https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5272624-aibu-or-my-ex-child-maintenance?postsby=MoneyWoe

He’s always been good at paying maintenance so I thought he’d just go with what CMS recommended. Plus I told him CMS wouldn’t let me legally open a case unless I was entitled to it, which is still my understanding.

In that case, why didn’t you say “hey, I ran the calculation and it looks like CMS think you should be paying £400 instead of £300, would you be ok to put it up a bit?”

Or whatever the numbers were.