Constant arguing because I word things wrong

[Wellthatwasalogday82]

Dh and I barely talk and that because every time I open my mouth DH moans about how I have worded something or I have aid something wrong or answered a question not how I expect an answer. It is draining.

Today's example. Dh is making lunch. Asked I wanted a roll and what in it. I said I wanted some cheese, just sliced not grated. I then added I can it if you want (as he keeps moaning i don't do anything - thata a whole different story)

Blew up and went mad as apparently that's me saying he's not capable, and I should have said would you like me to help and do it?

Other examples, if he asks if I want a drink and I reply with squash please, that's not the answer as I should just say yes and then he'll ask what I want.

I'm so tired from it all

Hes a cunt

Get rid

This is NOT your fault, @Wellthatwasalogday82 - this is your 'd'h acting like a total arsehole. And gaslighting you into thinking it is your fault.

He is deliberately doing it to wind you up. I couldn't cope with that.

Oh FFS. He's a controlling bastard.

You can't win with this one OP. If you'd just answered "yes to the question about a drink then no doubt he'd have complained that you should have said "yes, squash please" so that he didn't have to ask a second question asking which drink.

Has he always been like this?

He’s just being a dick, and it’s tiresome - exH is the same. Mine would also say he’d told me things he hadn’t, and claim I’d not mentioned things or events clearly in family calendar. This is why mine is an ex. It’s no way to live and eventually wears you down.

Can you explain how you feel and say you want to improve communication? Your H is not being reasonable at all. He likely won’t change.

If he can’t try and change then, seriously, think whether you can live like this forever. Because it affects your self esteem and it’s just not worth it.

Other examples, if he asks if I want a drink and I reply with squash please, that's not the answer as I should just say yes and then he'll ask what I want.
My DH is the opposite, if I said yes and waited for him to ask "what" he would say that it's like getting blood out of a stone. Good naturedly though.

Your DH is being awkward, is he like this with other people eg work colleagues, extended family, or just you?

He's trying to score points with every conversation. Sit him down, speak to him very slowly and clearly – as he has the emotional intelligence of a toddler – and tell him that unless he stops, he's out! See if he thinks you worded that properly!

You’re being emotionally abused

I hope you don't have kids with him, this is the sort of behaviour that escalates

First response nailed it.

Why are you still with him OP? Do you feel trapped?

Perfect and succinct analysis.

Blimey he sounds like my 15 year old dd being finickity and even she's not as bad as that! He needs to grow up

another vote for #cunt

He doesn't like you OP.

If you stay with this man, you will be sentencing yourself to a lifetime of walking on eggshells and never being able to get anything right for him.

It won't matter how much you think before you speak. His issue isn't that you say things wrong. He just wants a verbal puchbag and you will do.

Stop trying to give him what he wants. You will never succeed. Do yourself a favour and give him the elbow instead.

He's either ill, an arse hole or both.
My exhusband was and is like this. He was getting ill with a neuro psyc disease, probably a a hole too. He still does it but at least I don't have to live with him.

You don’t ’word things wrong’. Your partner is just a controlling, manipulative prick who gets off on criticising you to make you feel insecure. Get rid of this piece of shit. He’s awful.

He doesn’t like you.

Another saying first response nailed it. It's not you, OP. Get rid.

I've had one of these. It's so bloody wearing. You get to the point where you don't want to say anything because it will be wrong. I have come to the conclusion that I would rather be single for ever than have to feel I am walking on eggshells in my own home.

This is not the sign of a healthy relationship. It’s not you - its totally him!

Get rid.

OMG, this has just reminded me that when I was living with my step dad if I asked a question that was in the format 'would you like rice or pasta' he would answer 'yes' and I'd have to ask again, separately, to find out which.

Apparently it was to 'teach me to ask unambiguous questions' but what it really taught me is that he's a petty dickhead who believes he had the right to have the world exactly how he wants it and that if people don't do things the way he would they are both wrong and doing it deliberately to annoy him.

It's exhausting and infuriating and an absolute control freak move which will undermine your sense of self and have you second guessing everything you say and do. I had it inflicted upon me, but you can choose to walk away from it and I cannot recommend highly enough that you free yourself from his spite-fuelled bullshit.

Mine sometimes does this, but only when he’s in a mood. Fortunately it’s easily sorted (in my case) by telling him he’s being an arse.

I can’t imagine living with it all the time. My sympathies @Wellthatwasalogday82

What do you think would be the outcome with yours if you just eye-rolled and told him what an idiot he was being?

This behaviour benefits him quite a bit. You're easier to manipulate if he convinces you that you can't get anything right. He gets to be right all the time - about everything.

It's obvious that you haven't actually done anything wrong to an outsider