To have deleted my enormous to do list

[BusyCM]

Being self employed my work life and home life is constantly entwined and my to do list was getting longer and longer.

I can get a bit obsessed with lists and plans and really beat myself up if I dont stick to them.

I've got really wound up this week because it was so ridiculously long that I was considering cancelling a meal out with my parents this weekend, we don't see them often but I felt really overwhelmed and behind.

Dh asked me to read out what was on my list and kindly pointed out that none of it was important, the world wouldn't end if I didn't 'Make a photobook' or 'deep clean the dining room'.

So I've deleted the whole list.

It's temporary and I'll start a new one for sure but I suddenly don't feel anxious or behind, I just feel still and present.

Some of it was semi important, but nothing will get forgotten I'm sure. I have to trust my own organisation skills and brain that I have things under control.

Am I super weird?

That’s nice.

Categorise to A, B & C
Delete C weekly

I think you should give yourself a pat on the back and go and enjoy your meal! Writing lists and having to do bits can really bog you down. Deep cleaning the front room can wait a few days; go and enjoy yourself and the tasks you've set can be done another time.
Don't get me wrong I love a whiteboard with my daily to do jobs written on, but life is for living, not ticking off jobs. Enjoy your family time.

I like a list, but you have to control it, not let it control you.

I use a physical A4 note book for my list. The left hand page is "really ought to do" and the right hand page is "long term projects/aims". Deep cleaning the dining room would be on the left, but making a photo book would be on the right.

I don't have timescales for anything, but anything I really ought to do sooner rather than later (on either side) gets highlighted yellow.

I could have written your post! I got the Ike app and it helped a bit - it's one of those ones where you categorise things on a urgent vs important matrix. Helps me to prioritise but like you I still seem to have a huge list of things I'd like to do! Laughed at the photobook example just because I have similar things on my list!

The only way to control list stress imo is to write the list as you do things and immediately tick it off. I used to have endless lists that made me feel like I never did anything because they just kept growing.

Also have this too - whiteboard in the kitchen for really urgent things that concern the whole family/my husband (ie not just my pet projects). Another thing I'm trying to do is move some of the mental load onto my husband so use this as a way to make my list more visible. He's a good guy but I have this thing where I let the lists control me a bit/think it's on me to clear the list!

A bullet journal might help you prioritize.

Try Eisenhower matrix instead. It has a whole box for tasks which you can immediately delete or delegate to others. Although, it does take a while to admit to yourself that 90% of tasks on your list don't require your "specific skillset".

I read a good piece of advice on here the other day. It was that, if you think of something you need to do, either do it immediately or forget about it without giving it headspace. If it's important enough, someone will follow up or it will reoccur to you later when you're better able to deal with it. But don't waste mental energy thinking about what you should do, either do it or mentally dismiss it.

Worth reading Four Thousand Weeks by Oliver Burke man, gives a different perspective on how to think of your to do list and managing your time

Yes this, is the Ike app! :)

Just do a Things I Have Done list instead. I love lists and there are more things on the done list than ticked off the to do list.

Actually some really good suggestions here! The Do it now or forget about it is similar to another rule I have about housework, if it takes 60 secs or less, do it now.

If I spent the time I spend writing and organising my lists, I'd get a lot more done!

On any list I write I put on one thing that I have already done. Then I ceremoniously tick it off. Somehow it's massively motivating and I then work my way through the rest. Works for me.

That's some good husbanding right there, op

Yanbu to do it - i myself for that all the time 🤭🤭🤭

I also do one task whilst the kettle boils, like wiping the worktops down.

When I write lists I also write some things I already have done just so I can tick some stuff off from the outset 😂 I’m sure it’s a form of cheating BUT who cares, the lists are for me and it’s motivating.
i think you were right to delete the whole lot. There will ALWAYS be things to do but mang of them don’t have serious consequences if they’re not done.

I love a to do list but nobody needs to deep clean the dining room.

Deep cleaning my home can wait until after I'm dead x

It was revelatory for me when one or other planning guru - can't remember which one - said you "You will never get to the bottom of your To-Do list". Up until then I'd always thought if I just worked hard enough I'd tick everything off. Not so. Life happens, priorities shift and emerge and items always get added to your list. I've made my peace with not trying to finish it all and am so much happier for it.

I used to work for a guy who spent hours writing his to do list every morning, then stressed about it. Honestly, he could do a dozen things he added in the time he spent writing it.

I write urgent stuff in my journal, the rest doesn’t matter. I’m organised so housework is done on a daily rota, I don’t enjoy it, but grit my teeth and get it done first thing.

Life’s too short to stuff a mushroom, as a wise woman once said.

I used to write a diary entry every day to the point where I was actually stressing about writing in my diary and keeping up with it. I realised there was no real point to it and stopped and the relief was immense! Sometimes we are our own worst enemies.

Came here to recommend Oliver Burke man.

What on earth is deep cleaning?
Thungs are either clean or not, surely?