To have deleted my enormous to do list

[BusyCM]

Being self employed my work life and home life is constantly entwined and my to do list was getting longer and longer.

I can get a bit obsessed with lists and plans and really beat myself up if I dont stick to them.

I've got really wound up this week because it was so ridiculously long that I was considering cancelling a meal out with my parents this weekend, we don't see them often but I felt really overwhelmed and behind.

Dh asked me to read out what was on my list and kindly pointed out that none of it was important, the world wouldn't end if I didn't 'Make a photobook' or 'deep clean the dining room'.

So I've deleted the whole list.

It's temporary and I'll start a new one for sure but I suddenly don't feel anxious or behind, I just feel still and present.

Some of it was semi important, but nothing will get forgotten I'm sure. I have to trust my own organisation skills and brain that I have things under control.

Am I super weird?

I read a book that said that, for the lists of things you want to do, but nothing bad will happen if you don't do them, you should think of them as 'might do' lists rather than 'must do' lists.

So the photo book is a 'might do'.

Deep cleaning can almost always wait forever and I'd never cancel a family event or anything else fun, relaxing etc for cleaning. Life's definitely too short.

But it's true that you'll never get to the end of your to do list so there's no point missing out on the nicer parts of life by trying.

I got rid of to do lists about 5 years ago and I love it. I felt bullied by a list.

I have a don’t forget list on the calendar for really important jobs like “apply for passport”.

if I am super busy I will do a daily time plan for each hour 6am-8! I do this when I’m working 2 jobs.

Sounds like my husband, tells me not to worry about doing the jobs now but has no intention of doing them himself. So they’ll just wait for me.

It's surface clean, hoovered, dusted and tidy but I wanted to spring clean it. Take down the blinds and wash then, pull furniture out and hoover behind, take light fittings down and wash them. That kind of thing.

A deep spring clean needs to be booked in as a joint task that you both do, and set aside a day for it.

When I worked I used the 7 habits method of basically only doing something if it is important or urgent. It's worth reading up on it to refocus if you do need lists at work.

And keep your work stuff separate. Every if you work at home, close the door and don't let it into your daily life.

wow you are very dedicated. ive never deep cleaned anything but im a scruff

Christ that wouldn't even get to my list! It just gets done.

@BusyCM congratulations!!

i do my list on my phone. Since the stroke my writing is slow & awful! But if also allows me to prioritise without having time rewrite the list.

maybe keep your 'to do list for very important things (renew passport)
& have a 'reminder' list for things that you'd like done, but aren't critical (photo book)

I find making a list means I'm not constantly thinking about it because I know I won't forget as it's written down.

Categorise tasks as to whether they are Important or not and if they are Urgent (to do today) or non-urgent (can wait)

1 - Urgent and Important - DO these today.

2 - Urgent but Not Important for you personally to do - DELEGATE it. Your urgent task might be to ask someone else who could do it more easily than you, e.g. Is DH driving past the shop anyway and can pick up that one thing you need?
As DM used to say when we were teenagers, she didn’t feed, grow and keep a 6’ tall son at home to be climbing on chairs to change lightbulbs herself.

3 - Important but not Urgent - bonus if done today, but can wait. Things with deadlines you mustn’t forget to do.
At some point they will become Urgent, but you can DELAY them for now. Paying a bill when it first arrives or booking the car in for a service next month might fit in here.

4 - Not important and Not Urgent - DUMP these (or have a separate “Might be Nice” list for things like sorting out that box of old photographs or finishing a certain craft project)

As PP say, sub-divide tasks to their smallest component so, rather than “sort out a certain cupboard/ room”, have tasks to tidy one drawer or gather together one set of things spread across the house that needs storing together.
That way the Important and Urgent bit (“find passports”) doesn’t get lost in a vague “get ready for xyz upcoming trip”.

Sunday i sit down and separate my to do lists into days. I also have an 8th list . Outstanding. If it's not achieved by the end of the week it goes in there. Its now a very long list but as it's not in my view daily it doesn't bother me.

Thanks for bumping my 8 month old thread

It was pretty sad to read my OP and see I was thinking of cancelling a day with my parents. My dad has been really poorly recently and thinking of preferring to deep clean my dining room feels horrific.

I've never deep cleaned anything in my life apart from when social workers came round to assess us as adopters so that would be straight off the list

Is that because you don't think of it as deep cleaning, just regular and your house is immaculate or you don't clean these things mentioned and your house is filthy?

You were unreasonable for putting stuff like photo books on a To Do list.

A To Do list is for the stuff that MUST be done to make life work.
If you want stuff like photo books to be reminded, have a separate Nice-to-do List - this can be tapped into when/if you have some spare time.

Well done for noticing your situation and having a big Start Over! Good luck 🩵

I'm sorry to hear your Dad's not well. It does rather put things into perspective doesn't it🥲

Your DH is a sound man.

Never put more than five items on a to do list.

Sad news of your dad - I hope things will improve x