To be honest?

[SpeakFromTheHeart]

NC for obvious reasons. Apologies if it's long.

My DGM's funeral is next week and I'm wanting to write something for me and DB to honour the significance she had on our lives. I wish to do this mindfully but without filtering our truth.

For context: We were very much raised by our DGP's and in every way, expect conception, my DGM was our mother. It was them who took us to school, who picked us up when we were down, who shared life experiences with. Without them it's likely we wouldn't know what it was like to be loved and cared for. Our own mother (their daughter) neglected, abused and often exploited us, not just in childhood but also as an adult. I am LC with her.

My mum will be at the funeral and has so far took on the devoted grieving daughter role and excluded me and DB from arrangements. I'm trying to refrain from making us a target on the day but I want to remain true to myself and recognise my DGM for everything she was to us. Obviously circumstances won't be mentioned.

AIBU to do this or is the upset just not worth it? WWYD?

There is nothing wrong with what you have written.
You are not saying your mother was a shit mum; you are saying what your GM was to you.

Sending you a huge hug. This can not be easy for you, or your brother.

A friend of mine stood up at a funeral and said, Uncle James was a difficult man!

My concern would be how your brother might feel about reading it out...

But please don't let your mother's feelings get in the way of saying what a beautiful and wonderful person your grandmother was. I love your words: 'She was our greatest source of love, security and support. She taught us what it means to be strong, to love deeply, and to care for others with an open heart."

@ChateauMargaux Thank you 😊. As far as i know my brother won't be reading it out. He originally wanted to do his own but said he was struggling with the wor,ds and pressure. He was grateful when I offered to do mine for both of us instead where he is free to add in anything he likes and will go by his approval. I hope to do the reading but depending on my ability on the day with DC then the celebrant will read it for us.