To find it weird when parents refer to their children as their “best friend/s?”

[ThatArtfulCoralFinch]

I get that parents are close to their kids but I always find it odd when people say their child is their “best friend.” Maybe I’m missing something but isn’t there something a bit off about that? Am I the only one who finds this a little strange?

For those of you saying you're (best) friends with your children why is that preferable than being their parent?

Surely if you're close, enjoy spending time with them and have a positive relationship that's a very admirable relationship to have achieved with your child and you can just be proud you're a good mum and you have a close relationship.

I think this is just weird. Do you not have an adult friend who is your best friend?

Do you talk about your hopes and fears and issues in your life with your 8 year old? Do you pop out for coffee or a glass of wine with your 8 year old to catch up with stuff.

I think your issue is you need some adult chums.

Just weird af and to call your 8 year old your bf.

@Endofyear I agree that the emotional support is the key difference. My Dad relies on me for emotional support and it can be wearing tbh. I don’t think I’ll never rely on my children in the same way.

Love it. 😍I have 4 cats. All my best friends as I cant find any adult humans to be my best friend. Tried my dc to be my BFF. That didn't work. Trying kitten stuff now instead 😂

I have a friend who is similar. I think it's lovely to be honest (definitely not a situation I would find myself in with with my parents!) and if all parties are happy then it's not harming anyone. I don't really see it as any different to siblings spending lots of time together.

No but everyone I know like this has had very little life after the parents passed

@ThatArtfulCoralFinch Really!!??
Parents do what they feel right and then they come on MN or social media and read this waffle that makes you feel like you do everything wrong!

I think it's a bit odd. It's even odder IMO for teens/adults to say their mother is their best friend. A very young child might say that, but beyond that I would say it's a bit unhealthy and enmeshed. I can't quite imagine any adult saying that their parents were their best friends or their favourite people or whatever, no matter how close they are.

Potentially, but you can't spend your life worrying about what might happen in 20/30/40 years time!

You could easily have an adult 'best friend' who moves away/has a falling out with you and be stuck in the same situation.

@Endofyearthats how I word it, they’re my favourite people.

I think it's a bit sad to find it weird. Depends on age of course. I'm 36 and my mom is definitely one of my best friends but she's still my mom! We have an absolute scream of a laugh together and have very similar interests/views/moral compasses. I respect her and she respects me and my choices. I support her and she supports me, it's reciprocal.

She will tell me when I'm being an idiot like a parent would but she always has my best interest at heart and we have a very honest relationship.

I also have other friends! It's not either or

I love my child, I think they’re great, they’re funny and we have the same sense of humour and we can spend vast periods of time together in each others company
and not have a crossed word. I enjoy being with them. However, I am their parent and that will always be the case, no
matter what. That balance hasn’t shifted and I can’t imagine will?! So, no, we’re not best friends. I have a best friend and the relationship that we have is not even on the same level.

I think that is so lovely. I would love for that to be my future.

Yeah I kind of get it. I mean obviously I'm the parent, I set the boundaries etc.

But we spend loads of time together, I know him, I "get" him, he's the most important person in my life and as he's only 5 I'm still the most important person in his - for now 🤣

I think often it's just a phrase people use.

On the other hand when it's used in the context of the kid being a mini me or the parent projecting loads onto the child or not actually being a parent because they don't want to upset their "friend"... Yeah, that's weird.

I say it to my children. I don’t mean it in the sense of being friends vs parent/child. I mean it to convey to my children that I am always on their side and I’m always in their corner, no matter what.

I think this is it. It doesn't have to be either or. Both teen dd and I love spending time together but we both spend loads of time with others too. She has a 4 day weekend off school this weekend and she has just been telling about her plans. If I am lucky I will see her for a few hours Tuesday after work. There is plenty of room for other people too.

My DD has at least 6 ‘best friends’. Sadly I’m not one of them. Evil mum all the way here! 🤣

Depends on age. Under 25-probably. More mature adults-why not?

This really annoys me too, I usually see it as an instagram caption "walks with my bestie", ugh just no!

However, my daughter is almost 3 and is going through a phase of calling anyone she feels safe with her best friend, she learned the phrase at creche. I'm not correcting her because she is very cagey and nervous around people so I'm happy for her to be able to tell us who her safe people are.

I've been saying that lately, but only because my 3 year old started it and I think it's cute!

I only say it to him though, and my other son too, its not something I generally discuss with other adults other than my DH!

I think it's lovely too. I really hope my DD's want to spend time with me when they're older. My own mother doesnt enjoy my company, so it warms my heart to hear about lovely relationships like this.

Not sure why this bothers you. I am sure different people mean different things when they say this, but the truth is, a lot of us do not have many friends or any at all. If we are blessed with having a child and have a good relationship with them, they would be our best friends. Plain and simple.

Yes me too but there’s a difference between spending time together and being completely socially reliant