To find it weird when parents refer to their children as their “best friend/s?”

[ThatArtfulCoralFinch]

I get that parents are close to their kids but I always find it odd when people say their child is their “best friend.” Maybe I’m missing something but isn’t there something a bit off about that? Am I the only one who finds this a little strange?

I think my cat is my best friend.

is this ok?

I think this is one of those cases where actions speak louder than words.

I know lots of adults who have deep, meaningful friendly relationships with their parents.

I also quite a few parents who refer to their children as 'my bestie' or 'my best friend,' or children who say 'mummy/daddy is my best friend,' and who have wonderful parent/child relationships.

I can also think of a (much smaller) number of people who say 'ooh, DD is my best friend!' and they use the phrase to excuse a rather 'off' parental relationship.

IMO, people who aren't great parents, aren't great parents. It's not got much to do with terminology. It's that some people are lazy parents and lean into 'oh, I don't read with DS much ... but we're great mates!' or 'yep, I did forget DD's packet lunch but we're bezzies!' Those people would always find a language that let them excuse their parenting.

My mum and my adult dd are definitely among my best friends. I think it’s weird when people say it about their small children though unless they are playing along with the child’s game. My young children (and dd when she was little) aren’t even my friends and it would be a very unhealthy friendship if they were

Yep. Weird.

Absolutely agree. I love my adult children dearly and I am there for them through anything. We are close. We are not friends. We are Mom/Daughter and Mom/Son

I think, as another poster said, it's a turn of phrase! I'm a single parent to a young daughter. We spend all our time together and j often refer to her as my little best friend! That doesn't mean to say we stay up drinking wine and gossiping together!!! I think you're overthinking. I have a lot of boundaries and can be very strict when I need to be. But we also have great fun together and are a little team.

YANBU. There’s an Insta mum blogger who calls her toddler DD this. Drags her round coffee shops, cinema and hair appointments all day… she’s 2. Hopefully she has a life outside of this but virtually every minute of their day is accounted for on stories and she never seems to have any play dates, toddler groups, family visits… it’s all a bit sad, literally just them 2.

@weareallcats That’s how it is with my children as well. I’ll always be there for her and listen to her problems, for example, but I don’t expect her to listen to mine. I phone a friend if I need a moan and vice versa. 🤣

Those here who have said they call their DD their best friend, do you have other children?

The mothers I know that say this about their adult daughters seem over invested / involved in their daughters’ lives. And I think that it has hampers the daughters’ independence

Same here. One acquaintance actually moved to be close to her daughter at University! How about letting the young woman assert her independence??

And a family member's suffocating relationship with her adult daughter ended up playing a big part in the daughter's divorce. Who wants their MIL glued to their wife like a barnacle?

I agree.

I love mine but I don't want to be their best friend. I'd think I'd failed if I was tbh. Their bf should be someone they are at school college uni work with etc.

Me too, there’s not a chance I’d have a best friend that treats I’d die and to me the way my 15DS does.

I think it blurs the lines between parent and child. Its not a term I've ever used.

I don't think it's weird when you are talking about grown up children to be honest. I think it's lovely that they have level relationships with each other. My parents were shit so I like seeing healthy, happy family relationships.

My dd is 15 and she is great to be around. We are a lot alike and our relationship is very easy. Obviously there are boundaries there but we both enjoy spending time together. I'd like to think that that will continue as she gets older.

Meh, I can see why it bothers people as it implies a lack of parental boundaries but I think it’s possible be both.

My DS is 8 and is definitely my best mate. I love hanging out with him and have so much fun together. Same with my mum tbh!

But I’m also a very authoritative parent to him too.

My kids are all adults. We are definitely friends, if by that, we share common interests, actively enjoy doing things together etc (eg I went snowboarding with my eldest yesterday... bad move.. I'm too damn old!) but at the end of the day I am MUM, and that is a far more important relationship.
We share thoughts, and advice (goes both ways) and I value them as adults. There is friendship in our relationship but I will always be their parent !

I think it's odd. My experience is that the parent often overshares with their "best friend" child.

I have adult sons and I would say they're my favourite people in the world ☺️ I love spending time in their company. But it's not a 'friend' relationship. I talk to my closest friends about things I wouldn't talk to my sons about. I wouldn't lean on my sons for emotional support - I have my female friends for that.

You are never your child’s best friend

and yes I do think it’s problematic having seen adults say this - their boundaries are all over the place

Ok I get that. But from the other side do you really want her thinking the same about you. She's 19. Surely she needs to have proper friendships with people her own age aNd have best friends in that group.

Of course none of that detracts from get close relationship with yiu. But surely yiu don't really want your daughter thinking you are her bf

Totally agree. Your kids should not be your best friends. Nor you theirs.
I am my children’s parent. We are very close. But I am their parent. And I parented them well!

I feel the same about referring to one’s child as “the love of my life” and an evening together as “date night”.

So my 4 year old and 2 year old call my DH and their best friends. Nothing we imposed on them, they just picked it up from nursery. Is this weird? No I don’t think so, it’s cute if anything and some days apparently im
not their best friends!!

My mum was my best friend. I’ll never have another like her. We knew each other inside out and could communicate with a single look. I miss her dreadfully.