To take new man to late DH's favourite place?

[Holidayfix]

Well it was our favourite place, we went there several times a year before DC and at least once a year for family holidays with DC, but DH introduced me to it as it had been special from his childhood. A beautiful place in UK where we hiked and did other outdoor stuff.

I thought I'd never go back without him and I haven't yet.

I also thought I'd probably stay single forever, but that's changed too and I find myself all wrapped up with a lovely man who's keen to share my interests. He's not a hiker but knows I love it and wants to go with me.

We could of course hike somewhere else , but I find myself excited to show him all my/our favourite spots. He probably thinks it's precious becuase of family holidays more than for us as a couple, but it's both. I have been hiking elsewhere alone since DH died.

If it makes a difference, this wouldn't be our first or only holiday together, an "extra" short break.

So, disrespectful to take him where all my special times with DH were? Or just too plain difficult once I get there?

And then there's this, that I know is unreasonable. Should I offer him all DH's old gear? I suspect he won't want it, but it will cost £££ to kit him out properly and I have all this stuff going to waste. But if he does take it, I'll be away with new man, wearing DH clothes in DH's special place...

I’d separate the clothes thing out, from the holiday preparation, and sort them for vinted/charity but before doing so, mention to your new partner that you’re about to pass them on and that if there’s anything your new partner wants to keep, he’d be welcome to.

I don’t see any issue with having a holiday in your favourite place, so long as you’re able to be honest about the past memories, but it won’t hurt to ask what your new partner thinks about this idea and give him a choice.

I would go somewhere else as a first hiking trip. You don't know how he will get on with that yet and you don't want him to sour your favorite place. If he enjoys hiking and it goes well, then take him.

We have been hiking. Not a hiking holiday as such but we've been on day hikes whist away. He's not a natural on the technical bits, but he wants to learn.

But it isn't just your favourite place in the world.

youve said it in your thread title "To take new man to late DH's favourite place?"

it was your (you and your DHs) favourite place, you went there several times a year. So it has special memories because of sharing times there many times.

your new partner deserve better. Taking him to this place under the guise of it being "a lovely place" is disingenuous and he deserves honesty, which is best achieved by not deliberately taking him somewhere with such significance. Give him a fair chance to make his mark in your life without traces of your former life conflating things.

I think 6 months is way too soon to take him to you and your late husband's favorite spot.

Find a new favourite spot with this guy. It's time to make new memories, not slot your new guy into the old ones.

I would also say no, don't give him your late husband's gear. I think you would be putting him into a bit of an uncomfortable position and he's probably not ready to fill your husband's boots.

What does this guy enjoy doing? Find new activities with him, you might enjoy them too.

I'm very sorry for your loss.

New man new start new places. Explore something different.

You need to find a new special place that's just for you and your dp imo

Honestly, I think 6 months with a new guy is too soon. He sounds lovely and I hope you have many happy years together but I think it’s still very new and runs the risk of spoiling the happy memories you have there if it doesn’t work out. Did your sons only want to go when they knew where you were going? If so, I’d suggest this visit should be a mother and sons one, save the visit with new partner for the next trip xx

I don't see anything wrong in you all wanting to share such a special place - however, with the clothes, I think that it might be a bit of a shock if you're all having fun and then one of you glimpses 'him' out of the corner of your eye because they're the clothes your husband would have been wearing on a man of similar size or build.

Something that you could do is pack something small that was his - maybe a buff or hat? - that you would know is there if you feel the need to have something of him there (other than the kids and whatever they're wearing) and if you feel it's right, you could wear it or just know it's with you.

I'd take him but do walks that he could manage with gear he could afford.