Anyone else unhappy with their child’s primary?

[ChilliLips]

I’m a bit stuck. DD is in year 2. The school itself is fine - lots of outdoor space, nice teachers. But the classroom itself is somewhat chaotic - 1 teacher and 3 one-to-ones, severe behavioural issues in a few of the kids, half of the class are significantly behind which they’re struggling to cope with. DD is very able but I feel left to sort of drift as she doesn’t ‘need’ attention, I do understand that objectively. I met with the head because one of the children was repeatedly attacking her, only to be told they have no money and are wrangling with a large number of kids with significant delays in their learning and there’s only so much they can do. It was very honest I suppose, but he basically just told me she’s in the wrong setting.

I’m not convinced the other local state primaries are any better, from what I’ve heard. I’m getting a significant pay rise in 18 months so am considering sending her to the local prep but it feels like a last resort, as I never wanted to go down the private route. I also have a toddler who would need the same treatment. I’m also reluctant to take her away from friends unless I’m sure it’s the right thing.

If you were in this position what did you do? TIA

The one to ones could be for SEN . Bit harsh to say it's the failings of other parents.

Just because a child needs one to one doesn’t mean their parent is failing them! What an idiotic ignorant thing to comment.

Hi OP I'm in secondary not primary but I work in SEND, many parents belive one to one TA support is wonderful but as I think you have found it is quite often about containment of behavioral problems.
I can't comment on your finances and lifestyle but I am a naturally low maintenance person myself who doesn't spend much so if you know you are similar I expect you can afford private education.
I do think your daughter has been unfortunate in her primary school but the number of children with SEND and severity of the SEND is increasing a lot and many professionals think covid created a huge spike in some disorders. Mental health professionals are increasingly concerned about the use of social media which many parents seem to allow children as young as primary age completely free unrestricted access to.
And you wouldn't have to pay for private 6th form the behavioral problems evaporate because of the GCSE grade requirements of A levels. However there are very good state sixth forms and much worse ones. But it's not too hard to spot the difference and it is certainly good experience for independent life as a young adult.

Does this account for tax? I wasn’t sure from previous posts? Because obviously you pay school fees on your taxed (net) income. This looks incredibly tight, even if your income figures are indeed net. FWIW anyone I know who sends more than one child to private school either earns 200k plus a year or has significant family help.

Also bear in mind that your peak (secondary) school fees time won’t be for at least 10 years. A huge amount can change in that time- what about illness, redundancy, if the bottom falls out of your industry. Or just burnout- having 2 kids takes its toll. Plus fees and sundries are only going to rise, and you haven’t even got your qualification yet.

Personally unless more significant issues arise I wouldn’t go private, I’d give it a couple more years until your eldest is maybe year 4. It’s possible that the children with most severe needs may move schools- this can happen with more time for medical professionals to intervene. I’d get your DD assessed by a private tutor who specialises in 11 pls half way through year 3 and then consider tutoring or make another plan for secondary at that point.

I am a year 2 teacher and I would advise you to move to private in your situation if it is possible. The current year 2 cohort are the children who were 2 years old during Covid and missed out on vital socialisation. The extremes of behaviour we have seen in year 2 classes across lots of schools are, in many cases, due to SEN not being picked up early enough and vulnerable parents not being supported during really important years in their child’s development.

On the other side there are those children who had lots of attention and individual input if parents weren’t working. These children are just expected get on with things alone while screaming and chaos from the few disruptive pupils happens around them.

What did you decide? Were in the same situation but can't afford private. Dc is happy but I'm really not.

£15k sounds very cheap (incl VAT)!
You should expect fees to rise too.

It’s so sad that state primaries are becoming less and less suitable for NT children as the numbers of children with SEND is going through the roof and need so much in the way of teaching resources. A ticking time bomb for government finances, really.

It's the luck of the draw in primary whether your children is in a tricky year group or not. However, I don't think that private is necessarily that great.

I'd also hang on a bit- as they move up through the primary school, the SATS issue becomes more prominent and the school will then start looking more at those children who are expected to get GD and consider their progress, too.

We concentrated on the fact that whilst our primary wasn't academically that great, we supplemented with extra work, music and sport outside of school and that we had better secondary options. The difference at secondary is huge, and DC are flying in spite of a slightly dodgy primary school. It was also hugely beneficial socially being at the local primary school - logisitics were dead easy and it was great for knowing everyone.

I'd move her to private and save as much money as possible. I wouldn't stay in a job where I was regularly spat at - if you can afford private now just do it. She may have to move back to state later, you may have to start your son in state- but the problem now is that she's in an unpleasant environment and getting a poor education. Definitely worth exploring bursaries, scholarships etc to reduce costs.

What does your child think of the school? Is she happy there? Does she have nice friends? Is the school a one form entry, or is there a chance they will mix the classes up at the end of the year? Were you or your partner privately educated? I wouldn't consider moving my child unless he/she were unhappy at the school. If you are concerned she is falling behind or not getting challenged enough, it would be a lot cheaper to get a tutor than go private.