First time parents, lots of arguments

[CrazyFTM88]

We have a 7 month old baby. While everything was great in the beginning, we're just not getting along now. I feel constantly unappreciated, overworked and sleep deprived. If I hear "I was just about to do it" from him one more time, I'm going to scream. He feels like he can't do anything right and that I'm crazy and demanding and negative.

We had a massive row as I was unhappy he didn't give me a lie in this morning. He said he would but stayed in bed, didn't get up when baby woke up and let me listen to the baby babble and then whinge for 20 minutes. Just kept saying he'll do it in a minute. Obviously I was fully awake at this point. Bear in mind baby is a bit unsettled atm and I had to wake up 4 times last night and the night before while he had 2 full nights of sleep. All I asked for is a half an hour lie in. It's all I wanted.

We shouted, he told me I ruin everything, and I'm too negative and critical. After this row, I just felt all the love I have for him die. I don't even care about him anymore. I'm not even angry anymore. Just sad and confused.

I don't know if there is any way to salvage this.

Can you alternate nights - one in with baby, one in other room - so you can both get uninterrupted sleep at least half of the time? I think that'd really help you. Sounds like you're both sleep deprived!

You have to not micro manage him (not a dig I get where you are coming from) .

So baby wingeing and it's his turn to get up, stick ear plugs in and pull the cover over your head. Wait it out, he will get up eventually then have half hour from when he gets up. So don't give a time just you will get up half hour after him.

Asking him to load the dishwasher, leave it and wash babies stuff in sink. He will do it eventually.

In terms of contribution I have found it easier if we have set jobs, so I cook mon- thurs, dh cooks fri- Sun. That includes planning , buying ingredients if necessary and cleaning up. I do laundry in week, dh does sat/sun. Dh does hoovering, dog, garden, bins, diy and computers, I do dusting, sweeping, tidying,bathrooms. I don't check if he does his jobs and vice versa. (By the way we are 16 years in now. There was a lot of rows in the past)

When ds was a baby and not sleeping through we tag teamed. I went to bed at 8pm, dh dealt with bed time and gave ds a bath expressed bottle around 10/11pm. Dh would go to bed after, and I would take over when baby woke in early hours. We both averaged around 7 hours doing it that way. We also each took a lay in until 9/930 every weekend.

There is nothing like the white hot rage of fing partner not getting up and letting baby babble and whinge while your trying to sleep on when you have been up at night with the baby

I must admit on a less proud moment I literally dumped baby on dh head when he kept saying on a minute