Should I approach school or the teacher

[JadeMember]

I collected my DC ( twins ) from school today ( for ref. it is a private school ) and I was asking about their day. They said the Physics lesson was ok and they didn’t do anything because the teacher said she is tired and she put a documentary on for them to watch. They are in F9 but already preparing for GCSEs. This seems to be a reoccurring trend with this particular teacher. Sometimes she takes them out to play in the woods on the school grounds instead of the lesson. I wouldn’t mind, if there was an educational purpose for it, but my DC said that they are just chatting. She is suppose to be their teacher for the next three years to take them through GCSEs. I don’t think her teaching is adequate. I have been told by some parents with children in F11, who have the same teacher, that they have to do tutoring outside the school for Physics because they are behind the other children who have different teachers. On top of it all, this teacher has a child in our year and my DC are good friends with her child. We know them for years ( they joined our school in F6 ) and I know the teacher more as a mum acquaintance. This is the first year she is teaching my DC. I feel like I would be an asshole to complain to school without trying to talk to her first. Also what if I do complain and she finds out it was me. Our DCs are a part of group of 8 close friends and they do a lot of stuff together at the weekends ( sleepovers, shopping, activities etc ). I don’t know how to approach it without making it awkward in the group. Do I just suck it up and pay for a private tutoring, talk to the school or talk to the teacher?

What does "s**l" mean?

@TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne at a guess, suicidal

That’s really interesting. I haven’t gone through the UK school system myself because I grew up in a different country. We have two senior schools in our area and as I said before 6 private schools all going to GCSEs and couple of them to A levels. I did think about taking my DC out of the school last year and starting senior school somewhere else but they are happy and thriving at the school. So I would either take them somewhere else and hope they will be ok or stick with the devil you know. I calculated earlier that with the school fees now we are paying about £100 per day for school and when I’m told that the teacher is tired.. I get pissed off. Sorry I didn’t mean to go on so much!

Sorry yes but I wasn’t sure if we can say the word.

I have no idea. Our DCs are friends but me and her as mums never really got that close. Our chats have never been very personal. I’m definitely closer to couple of other mums in our group

I'm sorry for the situation you are in, we all want to do the best we can for our DC. Now you are stuck with a school where your DC are happy but they may have unqualified teachers who are not following the syllabus necessary for GCSEs. You are having to supplement this with private tutors. It is awkward to raise any concerns about teaching quality because so many teachers are known to be also parents of pupils and your fees are probably higher because the teachers get substantial discounts.

I would be more inclined to raise the concerns with the school before I knew the information about her DS and MH. I wish I never asked her. I’m going to email my DC form taker as he has no children at school and see where we will
go from there

Why not?

I wanted to be sensitive to the people who might find it disturbing/triggering. And also I don’t know if the admin approves so I didn’t want the post to get deleted

This is unfair but less of a concern than being taught by adults who may be graduates but not qualified teachers. There should be a governing body to whom you could complain.

Teaching in private schools is inferior . You get paid less but the work.is easier and behaviour better. I can't believe people pay for private school and then pay for tutors on top.Yet the VATis supposedly the most unfair thing ever
OP.ypu need to make a formal complaint but it probably will mess up your dcs friendships.

Having been at secondary school where a parent taught at it’s bloody awful - teens are trying to separate from the family and have their own lives at school having a parent poking round your school life is social death. Would never inflict that on my teens.

That’s not what I meant at all. I just mean if I was paying extortionate fees to a private school then yes I would expect the teaching to be amazing because otherwise why bother?

That doesn’t mean I think state schools are “less deserving”.

and I’ve personally worked in state schools for years, never attended a private school myself or have worked in one. I fully support state schools.

I'd email either the head or the HOY. To be polite you should probably copy the teacher in too.

Keep it factual i.e. don't say, "teacher said..." say my children told me they had watched a documentary on turtles in physics and I wondered how this linked to the physics curriculum?

It is probably a misunderstanding but I just wanted to check.

Sometimes things that don't look like learning actually are. Eg I have taught cell biology with students being the cell membrane and ball pit balls diffusing in to and out of the cell. To anyone walking past it would have looked like a ball fight.

Are you a troll? Giving you the benefit of the doubt and you are genuine- I cant understand why anyone would be so passive about their children’s education. The standards in maths are so bad you have to pay for tutoring and the school goes along with it.

You are paying for this establishment to educate your children. That plainly isn't happening.

The boundaries between your relationship with the teacher and her professional responsibilities are clearly blurred.

What are their results like?
How do former students get on at A level?

i would be looking for an alternative school for my children and giving notice now before Easter.

The GCSEs results for school are very good. I don’t know about A levels as our school only goes up to GCSEs. There is definitely a lack of teachers and school is trying to attract the teachers by offering big discount on the fees. In turn though a lot of teachers have children at the same school. Not all of them are teachers, they only need to be qualified in the subject they are teaching ( I didn’t know that before). Last year, school couldn’t find permanent Maths teacher and my children ended up having 5 different teachers in one year (hence math tutoring). They have a new maths teacher who is brilliant but we are keeping tutoring just in case. We looked at alternative school and they all seem great but so did our school at first. Children are very happy there so I’m reluctant to move them

I agree
My DC are at Private and I expect all interventions etc to be included. I wouldn't be happy about paying for tutoring as well and fortunately I don't need to
OP you need to approach the school, it looks like too many lines are already blurred and you might wnat to consider if you are actually getting your moneys worth here.
We don't send our DC Private purely for results, its the whole school experience but I do expect a decent standard of teaching as part of that.