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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Granny card on Mothers Day

62 replies

BeTaupeBear · 10/03/2025 13:39

I’ve noticed in the shops a lot of Happy Mothers Day Granny cards - I’m sure there always have been but I’ve only just noticed!

I wondered if it was the done thing for children to give their Grans cards?

I don’t remember doing it when I was younger but I have a baby so will need to decide if we will be and wondered what the consensus is

AIBU- yes totally normal and expected to give Granny a card from grandchild
AINBU- not expected, you just get a card for your own mums

OP posts:
Llllllllppppp · 10/03/2025 14:21

I wouldn’t buy one for a Grandmother unless she’s a mum substitute.
Once you start with things like this it becomes expected by the person.

Pleasegodgotosleep · 10/03/2025 14:53

My kids do and I did as a child. Just see Mothers Day as a celebration of all mothers or maternal figures in your life. Totally personal thing.

TrixieFatell · 10/03/2025 15:02

I would have loved these when younger as my nan was very much a mum to me for some of my childhood. I wouldn't have felt as left out

InALonelyWorld · 10/03/2025 15:06

Me and my DC have always got or made my DGM a card for mother's day. We go for lunch, do some gardening and have a nice relaxed day. We do the same with my DGD for father's day. They deserve the recognition way more than either of the parents who birthed me do, so why shouldnt they be celebrated and thanked for their significant part in our life. In reverse, she would also help my DC get/make cards and gifts for me.

Unfortunately my DGM died at the beginning of the month, so it will be the first year where we won't get to do any of that.

mewkins · 10/03/2025 15:11

It was referred to much more as 'Mothering Sunday' when I was a kid so we made cards for anyone mother-like that we wanted to send something nice to to acknowledge the nice things they did for us (endless babysitting and sweets 😁).

Belaymehearties · 10/03/2025 15:19

DCs had a greatgran, nanna, grandma, (step) nanny, and me. They loved making mothers day cards to colour, stick bits on and send as they were close to them all. Sadly they've all passed on now.

Still find it hard not to need to buy one for my own DM who died 3years ago.

Screamingabdabz · 10/03/2025 15:21

We always get a granny card for my mum from the kids (now adults). It’s a fairly traditional thing to include grandmothers on Mother’s Day.

JohnTheRevelator · 10/03/2025 15:32

My DGD has always given me a mother's day card and present.

curtaintwitcher78 · 10/03/2025 15:33

As a kid I always sent my nanas and great grandma cards on Mother's Day.
I'm late 40s and still send one to my remaining nana (and to my mum, obviously).
In recent years i event get one for my godmother.
I always get a card and present from my godson.

I suppose it depends on how close you are though. They've all mothered me in their way, and I'd like to think I was there for my godson.

JaceLancs · 10/03/2025 15:35

I’m 60 and growing up we always got Grandma a card n flowers for Mothering Sunday
My adult DC do same for my DM

Ohisitjustme · 10/03/2025 15:36

I don't particularly get on with my mum and feel all the "love you so much you're an amazing mum" cards don't work for me. So I sent her a grandmother's card from the DC

DilemmaDelilah · 10/03/2025 15:38

I always sent one to my grandmother who was a HUGE part of my life, and then I always made sure my children sent one to my mother (as well as the one from me). I don't remember always getting one myself!

starfishmummy · 10/03/2025 15:51

They've been around for years. We've never bought them, just send one from all of us.

HarryVanderspeigle · 10/03/2025 15:56

No, it's weird. My kids gran is not their mum. I buy my mum her mother's day card. I have let the kids pick it some years, so she did get peppa pig cards a few years in a row. I tend to find most of the card designs awful anyway. I have (one sided) arguments wiyh the card stands about them all being pink, frilly amd covered in butterflies. They can all do one.

KnickerFolder · 10/03/2025 15:58

We gave our DM’s a Mother’s Day card and gift from all of us as a family. The DC made the cards when they were older.

RedHillLady · 10/03/2025 16:04

I'm late 50s and always gave my gran a mothers day card.
My kids write cards for their gran and nana.........they have a lovely relationship with both grandmothers and it's a little thing that gives a lot of joy.

We only do cards, and each "mum" gets a token gift and card from their child.

Rainbowclouds101 · 10/03/2025 16:06

steff13 · 10/03/2025 13:43

I would imagine there are people who don't have their mother for whatever reason and their grandmother is filling that role.

This,

& I buy a happy Mother’s Day card to my nanny from my son as she looks after him whilst I work and is a motherly figure in his life

CheeseWisely · 10/03/2025 16:12

When I was a kid my (narcissistic and really not very nice, on reflection) Grandmother would have gone BALLISTIC if she didn't get a card and a gift from me as well as my Mum on Mothers Day.

In order to set expectations I told my Mum when DS was born last year that I wasn't going to be repeating that pattern. She'll get a card and a gift from me, not from him. She won't get separate birthday / Christmas presents from him until he's old enough to choose them either (except for his first Christmas when she got a Grandma mug and a tree ornament with his handprint on it).

SeaShellsSanctuary1 · 10/03/2025 16:14

It may be to do with childcare and the fact that many more children spend equal amounts of time with their grand/parents

MyTwinklyKhakiPanda · 10/03/2025 16:20

When I was a child (in the 70s) it was Mothering Sunday and i made cards for my Mum and Nanny. I now have a grandchild and have had a card from him via my daughter last year which was lovely

(we’re an arty family who tend to make cards & gifts tho so baby handprints pics etc. I realise this might not be everyone’s strength ofc!

I think its entirely possible to do Mother’s Day etc without getting into rampant capitalism :D

every family has a feel of it so decide what you feels right for you

Maray1967 · 10/03/2025 16:31

steff13 · 10/03/2025 13:43

I would imagine there are people who don't have their mother for whatever reason and their grandmother is filling that role.

Yes, my gran outlived my mum by several years and do I sent her one from me and DB.

We send a Nan/Granny card from our DSs to MIL and DSM.

TwattyMcFuckFace · 10/03/2025 16:33

I bought my brother a Father's Day card from his cats 🤷‍♂️

I can't vote OP because it's a case of different families doing different things.

One person's normal is another's strange.

CandyCane457 · 10/03/2025 17:10

I’m inbetween your AIBU and AINBU….

AIBU- yes totally normal and expected to give Granny a card from grandchild
For me, jt is very normal but also not expected. I don’t expect everyone to give their granny a Mother’s Day card.

AINBU- not expected, you just get a card for your own mums
I think people can get a card for their mum, but also for their granny should they wish too

Im 35 and for as long as I can remember tneyve been available in shops. Since I was little I’be always got my nan and grandma one. But aso don’t think it’s an expectation and wouldn’t be appalled if someone told me that they didn’t!

Boomer55 · 10/03/2025 17:12

As a granny of 5 - no, no, no. Don’t. 🙄

The day is for Mums - not Dads, grannies or anyone else 🤷‍♀️

Londonrach1 · 10/03/2025 17:13

Depends on whom brings you up. I've a friend who was bought up by her gran. She doesn't have a mum and refuses to talk to her mum. (her mum choose drugs over her children leaving them with her mum, my friends gran at a young age)