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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Claiming to not be able to afford it - it’s just a dig, isn’t it?

53 replies

affordingit · 10/03/2025 13:37

Sitting with a group of friends (including my sister). We were talking about all sorts but the conversation moved to food shopping. One of my friends asked me if I’d been to the newly opened higher end supermarket. I said I had after work and that we’d got some amazing yellow sticker items for the freezer. My sister declared ‘I don’t go there personally. I can’t afford it’ and laughed to herself but I could see peripherally she was looking at me the whole time. She and BIL are very big earners and way outearn me and DH, which she will know. I was left feeling awkward and didn’t really know what to respond with. It kind of dampened the conversation too. What could her intention here be - anything other than to show me up? I don’t feel I could confront her as she would downplay it and say I’m taking meaning from it that wasn’t there/making things up. It was less that she said it and more how she stared me down as she did.

OP posts:
Bluenotgreen · 10/03/2025 20:14

I have a friend like this. She often says she can’t afford things or expresses shock at something I have spent money on.

Truth is, she just prioritises completely different things to me, and that’s absolutely fine. It does annoy me when she pleads poverty though…

Shubbypubby · 10/03/2025 20:58

My sister earns far less than me (neither of us are rich or high earners by MN standards) but she usually buys posher/more expensive food than me and always goes to much classier/more expensive restaurants. We just have different tastes. I'm a Sainsbo's supermarket/local pub type of woman and she likes the posher things in life. Just how you chose to spend your money 🤷🏻‍♀️

kitchentablegardentable · 10/03/2025 22:20

I think she was wanting you to say "you earn way more than you, you can afford it".

Sounds like attention seeking.

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