Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Brags about dc height/weight etc

84 replies

ProustianMadeleine · 09/03/2025 17:24

I've never been able to understand. Why do people try to brag about their child's weight, height, shoe size?

I can maybe understand a newborn baby, "wow what a chunk, 10lb 6oz, well done you!"

But for example, BIL speaks about DNeice's height like its some sort of achievement for him! "Oh she's soooo tall for her age" "the tallest in the class" "dwarfs the other kids, even the boys!"
She's not freakishly tall as he seems to claim. She's 11 and a similar height to my 12 year old DD.
And who cares anyway? It's likely she'll average out and become one of the smaller children as she gets older because most boys will takeover in height with puberty.

We're also not a tall family in the slightest. DH, BIL and FIL are all under 5"11.

I also know someone who would brag about her 10 year old DD being in ladies size 12 clothes and having size 6 feet like she was so developed and mature.
She's now a very normal sized 15 year old.

I know we all think our children are great but I'll never understand this kind of crowing oneupmanship.

OP posts:
FrannyScraps · 09/03/2025 17:43

Well there's probably something quite primal in raising your children to be 'big and strong'. Like a survival of the fittest type of instinct. If you think about animals, the runt of the litter type expression is used. Not saying we do that with children, but there is a generally something positive about growing and development in them that is quite satisfying.

tentimesover · 09/03/2025 17:59

Often children can feel insecure or be bullied about being outside of the average size wise.
Parents are just making their dc feel better and saying it's a positive not a bad thing to be taller/bigger than peers.

I have a tall teenage dd who has been called bfg, big foot, lanky etc throughout school. She's beautiful and her height it beautiful and we do take any opportunity to tell her that being tall is not a fault.

GrandHighPoohbah · 09/03/2025 18:02

It is odd, isn't it? As if hitting puberty younger than some of the others is some kind of personal achievement.

CarpetKnees · 09/03/2025 18:20

It isn't a 'brag' though. It is just conversation. Catching up with people who you thought love your dc.

Someone's height isn't something they have 'achieved'.

Bragging would be if they had achieved something.

RandomUsernameHere · 09/03/2025 18:25

Agree, it's odd to make a big deal out of something that children have absolutely no control over, almost "praising" them for being tall. Especially as tall children often do not end up as tall adults.

steff13 · 09/03/2025 18:27

Are they actually bragging or are they just making conversation? I mean I have talked to my friends about one of my sons wearing a men's size 13 shoe, but I wasn't bragging, I was complaining about how hard it is to find a men's size 13 shoe. That same son is now 6'3" tall and weighed 10lbs when he was born. Also no brags, just facts.

JandamiHash · 09/03/2025 18:28

Yes it’s a weird flex isn’t it!
MN is the worst for it. Everyone’s child is “lean” or “strapping”. Which makes me wonder who the parents are of all the stout pudgy kids I see

Hoppinggreen · 09/03/2025 18:31

I hated DS looking like a 5 year old from about age 3, people treated him like he was older and then were surprised when he acted his age. According to MIL it was the same for DH
DS always stood out and it was only from about Y10 when his peers caught up, he hated it

Hugattack · 09/03/2025 18:32

I’ve noticed this. My DD’s class does have some very tall children in it and there does seem to be some competitiveness over which kid has biggest size of uniform or has biggest shoes.

TeenLifeMum · 09/03/2025 18:32

Sometimes it’s bragging but other times I think it’s interesting conversation. My friend had tall dc same age as mine but look about 5 years older than my girls. Mine all seem to look 7 until 13/14 when they have a growth spurt and shocked everyone by being taller than all the tall dc. Dd1 was shortest for so long then year 10 summer term she grew from 5’2” to 5’9”! I find it fascinating. I’m 5’4 so it was a bit of a surprise to be honest. She’s also a size 6 so a bean pole (unlike my curvy figure).

TheMorels · 09/03/2025 18:37

I don’t think it’s bragging. We might not like it, but male adult height is still an important factor.

I have a shortish husband, (says he’s 5’10, probably 5’9), so do I feel happy our sons are 6’1 and 6’3? Yes. I know first hand how hard it is to be the short one in the group, my husband is teased for it and would hate the same for our sons who were both the shorties in their classes until they were nearing the end of secondary school.

I don’t think anyone cares about shoe size though. FWIW, I’m 5’8 and my shoe size is a stumpy 3.

JoyousEagle · 09/03/2025 18:41

I also know someone who would brag about her 10 year old DD being in ladies size 12 clothes

I would assume anyone bragging about a 10 year old being an adult size 12 is overcompensating for worries about that child's weight tbh.

Bushmillsbabe · 09/03/2025 19:07

Hoppinggreen · 09/03/2025 18:31

I hated DS looking like a 5 year old from about age 3, people treated him like he was older and then were surprised when he acted his age. According to MIL it was the same for DH
DS always stood out and it was only from about Y10 when his peers caught up, he hated it

Same. DD1 has looked about 5 when she was 3. Had a tantrum in Sainsbury's, as 3 years do when tired/hungry, an older lady tutted 'school children shouldn't behave like this' at me. I replied 'she is just 3' she said 'yeah right'.
Now at 9, she looks 12-13, with size 5-6 feet. I talk about it, but as a worry, not a boast. On holiday some teenage boys were clearly flirting with her, she had no clue I dont think, just thought they were 'weird', but it does concern me that people think she is older than she is. And buying age appropriate school shoes it a nightmare, it's all slip on shoes, which are no good for running around in.

babyproblems · 09/03/2025 19:13

FrannyScraps · 09/03/2025 17:43

Well there's probably something quite primal in raising your children to be 'big and strong'. Like a survival of the fittest type of instinct. If you think about animals, the runt of the litter type expression is used. Not saying we do that with children, but there is a generally something positive about growing and development in them that is quite satisfying.

I think it’s this

tipsandtoes · 09/03/2025 19:32

CarpetKnees · 09/03/2025 18:20

It isn't a 'brag' though. It is just conversation. Catching up with people who you thought love your dc.

Someone's height isn't something they have 'achieved'.

Bragging would be if they had achieved something.

That's the point. Some parents do crow about these things as if they were an achievement worthy of bragging about

tipsandtoes · 09/03/2025 19:35

TeenLifeMum · 09/03/2025 18:32

Sometimes it’s bragging but other times I think it’s interesting conversation. My friend had tall dc same age as mine but look about 5 years older than my girls. Mine all seem to look 7 until 13/14 when they have a growth spurt and shocked everyone by being taller than all the tall dc. Dd1 was shortest for so long then year 10 summer term she grew from 5’2” to 5’9”! I find it fascinating. I’m 5’4 so it was a bit of a surprise to be honest. She’s also a size 6 so a bean pole (unlike my curvy figure).

Please don't go calling her a bean pole. Girls that age that are really skinny and tall hate having no shape. It can really be very damaging to their self esteem. They get called things like a 'door' or chopstick. It's not easy for them

tipsandtoes · 09/03/2025 19:38

TheMorels · 09/03/2025 18:37

I don’t think it’s bragging. We might not like it, but male adult height is still an important factor.

I have a shortish husband, (says he’s 5’10, probably 5’9), so do I feel happy our sons are 6’1 and 6’3? Yes. I know first hand how hard it is to be the short one in the group, my husband is teased for it and would hate the same for our sons who were both the shorties in their classes until they were nearing the end of secondary school.

I don’t think anyone cares about shoe size though. FWIW, I’m 5’8 and my shoe size is a stumpy 3.

How do you stay upright? 😂

Didimum · 09/03/2025 20:16

Doesn’t sound like bragging, just like they are talking about things they might find interesting and their kids. People also talk about their kids being smaller than average too.

MixedBananas · 09/03/2025 20:18

It make no sense as at school anyone not average is bullied. Too short bullied. Too tall bullied. Too skinny bullied. Too fat bullied. Etc etc etc.

Didimum · 09/03/2025 20:19

TheMorels · 09/03/2025 18:37

I don’t think it’s bragging. We might not like it, but male adult height is still an important factor.

I have a shortish husband, (says he’s 5’10, probably 5’9), so do I feel happy our sons are 6’1 and 6’3? Yes. I know first hand how hard it is to be the short one in the group, my husband is teased for it and would hate the same for our sons who were both the shorties in their classes until they were nearing the end of secondary school.

I don’t think anyone cares about shoe size though. FWIW, I’m 5’8 and my shoe size is a stumpy 3.

Since when is 5ft 9 short? 5ft 9 is the average height for a man in the UK.

I feel like people are so obsessed with 6ft+ men that they forget that 5ft 9 is a completely normal, not short height (and I say this as someone with a 6ft husband and 6ft 4 dad!)

NotSmallButFunSize · 09/03/2025 20:20

GrandHighPoohbah · 09/03/2025 18:02

It is odd, isn't it? As if hitting puberty younger than some of the others is some kind of personal achievement.

I know someone who talks about her yr5 needing a bra (she doesn't really, a crop top would be absolutely fine) as if it's some kind of reflection on her wonderful parenting 🤔

Used to drive me mental when mine were younger how much people seemed to brag about how big their kids were - who cares?! Now they're teenagers they are all pretty much the same size!

modgepodge · 09/03/2025 20:24

I am guilty of talking about my children’s size, but not in a boastful way (I don’t think!) I just have 2 extremes…first one was tiny and as a baby/toddler was always in clothes for much younger kids (now age 6 she is average height but very skinny). The other is a toddler and enormous! Since about a month old has been wearing clothes for older babies. Yet they were virtually identical birth weights. I find it surprising so I do talk about it (especially as upon meeting my baby lots of people say how big he is) but I’m in no way boasting, just making conversation.

Crazycatlady79 · 09/03/2025 20:32

My twins are the tallest girls in their year (and, likely, the largest feet), which has never been something I've bragged about.
The only people who ever seem impressed with it are the females in the Dad's family, as they are all quite short.

TheMorels · 09/03/2025 20:32

Didimum · 09/03/2025 20:19

Since when is 5ft 9 short? 5ft 9 is the average height for a man in the UK.

I feel like people are so obsessed with 6ft+ men that they forget that 5ft 9 is a completely normal, not short height (and I say this as someone with a 6ft husband and 6ft 4 dad!)

Show quote history

My 5’9 husband is the shortest adult man I know. So it’s not average for us. Also, as I said, my husband hates being on the short side and we’re glad our sons are tall.

Pebbles16 · 09/03/2025 20:36

babyproblems · 09/03/2025 19:13

I think it’s this

Show quote history

I concur as I am a very short arse person that was id-ed well into her 30s.

In the end we are either tall or short, developed or non developed and have very little control over the situation.

I reached my maximum height (5' 1") at 12 and almost maximum bra size (30E at 12, now a 32F at 40 years later). I went into the summer before secondary school looking like a preteen, by September I was emulating Dolly Parton.

My "poor" parents had to deal with me shorter than everyone apart from my grandfather's mother who maxed at 4 foot 9. Luckily no one made a big deal of it. I've always fancied being taller, but I suffer from vertigo!