Teenage boys rooms/hygiene

[YourChirpyCoralAnt]

AGHHH.

I have two DS 17 and 19.

They are both at college full time. They both help and do their chores in the main places of the house.

It's their rooms and hygiene. Ones room is an absolute shit heap but he's obsessive about washing his clothes and being clean having nice hair and skin etc.

The other one has a tidy room but will happily go days without a shower and will end up stinking to high heaven if we didn't force him into the shower.

Anyone have any advice on what to do? My youngest can trash his room within a day. I have no idea how.

Not being rude, but having seen replies on other posts:

. They watch me and dad clean regularly. Dad is hands on.
. We have shown them how to use cleaning products. They are able to clean the other parts of the house.
. We have probably about 100 times sat in their rooms whilst we show them how to step by step clean them with the correct products and systems
. I don't want to hear from people who have young children leaving judgey comments who have 0 experience with teenagers
. I don't want to hear from people blowing their own whistle about how they moved out at 19 and they don't get why it's so hard
. I appreciate I'm 'lucky' they help around the house but ones room and ones hygeine is affecting the common areas by smells
. Dont need any stupid comments telling me to kick them out or divorce my children or anything ridiculous of the same ilk

I need some genuine advice from other teenagers parents or is this just what it is 🤣 don't really know any inappropriate discipline for them at this age as they are both driving/learning to drive and are basically adults.

Mine are younger teens. I have turned WiFi off to get room cleaning done.

We got mice once and that scared the crap out of them and we had tidy rooms for good year

I can't help, sorry.

My DS is moving out soon and it's the one thing I'm genuinely excited about.

I'd rather have a walk round Chernobyl than enter his room 🤢

I have younger teens but it's bribery in our house.

WiFi goes off until it's done. Pocket money / treats are not paid for if basic chores are not done.

If they want to live like pigs in their own place that is fine but in MY home there are rules. I don’t discuss them. They are just the rules.

I'd also agree that girlfriend was the tipping point for tidying his room here- it's still not brilliant but less of a health hazard. He also fortunately loves sleeping in a cold room with the window open- making sure the window's open every day definitely helps with the teenage boy aroma.

When mine were teens, their rooms varied but were generally pretty untidy. I left it alone and only insisted that

Bed linen changed regularly
Cups, plates etc were brought down (this involved some nagging)
I only did laundry if they put it in the laundry basket. I did not pick up dirty clothes from their floor so if they wanted it washed, they brought it down.

Otherwise, I just closed the door and left them to it. Usually they would have a big overhaul and clean when it got bad. I always told them I was happy to hoover if the floor was clear and spray and wipe surfaces if they were clear-ish.

The personal hygiene thing I would tackle head on - he needs to shower every day and it's non-negotiable. Being smelly and dirty is unpleasant to be around and is unacceptable 😒

A girlfriend perhaps.

Mum to two teenage boys who share a room. I just go in to open the window or put clean clothes in. Yes its untidy but its up to them to keep it clean and tidy. Only rule is no food in the room

He’s been with his girlfriend for 2 years, so I don’t think it’s that. I’m leaning towards alien abduction tbh the change in him is that dramatic!! 😂
He's pinched my new wax burner now!

Your house, your rules. Suck it up or leave. When you say it, MEAN IT. Job done.

Rules. Everyone here has to have a shower every day. Otherwise, dinner won’t get served.
tidy up once a week for cleaner

Yeah can’t really throw a 15 year old out for being untidy. Or even a 17/18 year old if they’re still at school. That would be really shitty parenting.

My DH would deal with it and they all respect him enough to do as he asked. Beyond that back off, they may change when girls begin to feature in their lives more.

Tell them there’s mice in there or tell them if they get sick it’s going to be pretty difficult to clean up their stuff and it’ll have to get dumped. No advice just make sure the window gets opened daily

But she said the smell is going through the house, so it’s beyond their room only.

This is what i do these days (16 and 19yo). Made the mistake of having en suites made for them and the mess was/is revolting. Seem to be unable to flush an effing toilet, esp overnight. After a year of begging, pleading, yelling, cajoling I have up 2 weeks ago and got a cleaner.

I feel your pain!

My DS cleaned his room ore regularly when he got a girlfriend who was staying over. He's always been great at personal hygiene but the room was a shit tip.

Had to enforce him checking out rubbish each week open windows while he was out and shut the door

I remember reading a story once about a mum who bought a pack of uncle Ben's microwave rice - the one with black / brown bits in - and sprinkled a few bits in her teenage son's dump of a bedroom. Told son there must be mice due to the filth / food everywhere and room was soon spotless 😂

I struggle to think that I’d be on board with the “shut the door and ignore” approach.

That’s a home that I pay the mortgage for, that I work to maintain and keep in good repair/condition.

All for someone to treat part of it like a bin? No way.

Concentrate on the DS who has issues with personal hygiene,just leave the other one to his own devices.

I would ask him every day if he's showered and if not why not. Treat him like a toddler for a bit .

My son is the former - he always looks good, showers daily and is quite obsessive about his oral hygiene and skin care (thanks to his first girlfriend at 15 who was into make up and skin). But his room can be a tip. I'd rather it that way round!

He's doing mechanics at college. Him and his friends all go to the pub on a Friday after college all greased up and I think the time he goes theres loads of other trades in there and he's saying well they are all dressed the same. That's a big problem. He got sent home to change from a club after trying to get in with work boots and had to drag all his mates back to ours to change so I think that's at least instilled him now changing into nicer trainers when he leaves the house.

He's receiving guests while you're at work 😂

OP - I think the only thing that works with teenagers is withdrawal of privileges/money.

Decide what you're prepared to let go/what's non negotiable. Have a timetable if you have to. If they don't do what you want them to do switch wifi off/don't give them lifts/withdraw allowance, whatever you think will affect them the most.

My teen son gets in the shower when I tell him to but doesn’t wash! Jsut stands in the hot water! I mean Jesus it would be the work of twenty seconds to wash his pits when he’s already there. I do not understand and have no advice OP only sympathy