Do people expect food after dinner at wedding?

[Budka]

Ceremony is at 1:45 pm. We are serving very filling canapés and cocktails at 3:30pm and dinner at 5:30pm. There will be the actual cake, a homemade cake table, hydration station and a snack table. The wedding ends at midnight. The meal itself is A LOT, we are doing a sit down buffet (think Las Vegas buffet).

I've seen trends where a pizza/burger van turns up as guests are leaving.

Would you as a guest expect more food after dinner?

I personally wouldn’t. I do feel people get weird at weddings re good where they almost expect to be fed and watered on the hour, every hour. But in everyday life you would probably be happy with eating far less (I do appreciate dancing, drinking causes hunger).

But would you expect to be given more food after dinner and cake?

My sister thinks we should order a load of pizza to send people away with.

i dunno i find the idea a bit ott. We are serving a lot of food. People are not those bottomless pits! But I obviously wouldn’t want people to actually be hungry.

It's not just problems with entitled guests, brides seem to be trying to outdo each other. My neice told me that lots of her friends were married over recent years and people seemed to be trying to add an extra meal or attraction as compared to the last wedding they went to. Farcical really!
Personally I'd much rather have a glass of good wine and/or champagne than cocktails, they're ludicrously expensive and often very sickly so not good with canapés.
My DH's family are from Scotland where weddings typically take place in the afternoon followed by a huge meal, dancing and an all-night party. We were in England and had a morning wedding, a nice lunch (with lots to drink) and that was it. We wrongly thought that they'd be pleased to be able to go home the same day and avoid paying for another night in a hotel - instead they all felt short-changed. You can't please everyone.

@pollymere but the bride and groom are making this a more complicated wedding by having it at world class attraction with a tour laid on, a long time between ceremony and meal.

Eww no, you don't want to be having to rifle about in a bowl of nuts everyone's had their fingers in. Nuts and pretzels are bar snacks for people who are out drinking after having three square meals that day, not people who have probably had breakfast at 9am (or skipped it because they had a hair appointment or long drive) and a buffet tea at 5.30, and nothing else. Well except the 'substantial canapes' of course..!

@angela1952 Gosh, no wonder they felt short-changed. Your DH really dropped the ball on that one. They probably drove, so after a lunch with lots of booze how would they have been able to get home the same day? If people are travelling a distance you need to make it worth their while.

Your wedding food sounds perfect to me OP. But then; I went to a wedding where they served chips OR a hotdog (not both!) and the bride didn’t cut the cake because she thought it was something “you did at home”.

The tour is self guided. We have put together our own guide. People don’t have to do it.

We have a similar timeframe to you with a sit down dinner at 5:30 and are having a buffet of hot and cold snacky bits come out at around 10:30 (as well as the wedding cake, as we are having a different dessert with dinner), with the plan to end the music at 1am. If I had dinner at 5:30/6 I would be hungry again in the evening, especially if there is drink involved.

I completely own that I am being a snob on this specific point. I am not in general a snob in life though.

But for me, pizza is something that I have as a cheap takeaway when I am being lazy and can't be arsed cooking. It is not something I expect to eat at a fancy wedding in a smart venue. I would be disappointed to be offered junk food in that environment is about the best way to phrase it.

I went to a wedding with similar timings and we were all given a fancy cupcake as we left - it was the wedding favour but mostly people ate it then and there.

I personally would struggle to eat a full meal at 530pm after canapes so would likely under-eat dinner and then be super hungry at 10pm - but that's a me thing! If you're doing some sort of snack table that seems like plenty, though the tradition here (in Scotland, at least at the weddings I've been to) is something like a bacon roll around 9/10pm to get you ready for the second round of ceilidh dancing :-)

But I'd be delighted with a table of crisps, cheese, crackers, whatever and then it's not more queueing up and hot food making a mess after several drinks.

The criticism of OP is getting ridiculous now. Some posters are saying, in the same breath, both that you must over-cater and that the canapés are too much because people will be saving themselves for the main buffet. The logical conclusion of that is that she has to keep catering over and over until last knockings just in case someone hasn’t eaten the previous offerings.

I think it’s horrible to be piling on the OP like this, bending over backwards to criticise her.

OP, crack on. You’re fine.

Thank you. Thats exactly what it felt like. I can’t plan for EVERY eventuality. It’s simply not possible.

I haven't read all the comments but your wedding timings were very similar to mine. Ceremony 2pm, canapes 2:30pm, meal (not a buffet) 5pm, We didn't have any separate evening guests either. At 9pm, we cut the cake and the venue put out some cheese, fruit, mini desserts and the wedding cake. We also had a person serving ice cream which was needed as it was roasting! While people had some of the buffet, most was wasted as people were too busy dancing/drinking/socialising to care about food. I think your initial plan sounds fine.

@BettyBardMacDonald · Today 12:00
I think having generous bowls of nuts and pretzels on each table after the meal is sufficient; people can soak up the booze but there's no cooking involved and little service to repeatedly refresh them.

@owlexpress

Eww no, you don't want to be having to rifle about in a bowl of nuts everyone's had their fingers in.

Particularly hilarious as that first poster is currently pontificating on another thread about how disgusting it would be to be given homemade brownies in a wedding goodie bag for hygiene reasons, and being quite rude about the posters who have said they would eat them.

No, didn't drive, most flew or came by train on previous days. Pleanty of time to get home if they'd wanted to - which many of them did.

Honestly, I think your wedding and your timings sound absolutely fine. It sounds like a fabulous day, your guests are lucky to be invited and it's not remotely your job to be all tied up in whether or not your guests have managed to feed themselves beforehand. I presume most adults, knowing a wedding is starting at 1:45, can plan around that or go without food for a few hours. Even those coming in from out of London are surely capable of having a few crackers and some water on the way?

I also agree with the PP who has said getting everyone onto the bus will be like herding cats, and then, allowing for London traffic, you are not going to have too much standing around time at the cocktail reception.

I would provide a bit of food, burgers or bacon rolls or pizza a bit later, because people will be hungry and have consumed quite a bit of alcohol and it's just fun. We always do bacon rolls at the end of the night when we have a party and everyone raves about how much fun it is.

My only question is whether you really need the snack table in between?

Hope you have gorgeous weather and a lovely day @Budka. This thread is mad!

Give it time, Ihopeyouhavent

I agree it's turning into a pile-on - AIBU very often does - and a lot of it's from folk who haven't even read OP's posts and seem to be commenting just for the sake of it with things like "What if they've left the main meal because they're chatting", which really isn't for OP to deal with

Shame really, since it's clear she's already doing a lot to keep guests happy, but as many have said you'll never please absolutely everyone so might as well just relax and enjoy it now

Aah it's one of these threads;

Op: 'Am I being unreasonable?'

Everyone: 'kind of'

Op: 'I'm not though'

For me it would hinge on the fact that if the wedding is 1.45 and people have got ready and travelled there then they've probably only had breakfast and will fall on the 3.30 canapés like wolves, so I'd really really over cater there to make sure people aren't missing out when others take more than their share.

5.30 is pretty early for dinner and personally the last thing I want when I've been drinking all day is cake so I'd appreciate something savoury later, especially if you're expecting people to stay and dance until midnight or beyond. If it wasn't provided I'd probably leave in search of it.

If the snack table is unlimited , ie it's replenished regularly and nothing runs out I wouldn't bother with any more food .
But having said that I have been to 2 weddings where the buffet was demolished like a plague of locusts had descended and there was nothing left . We still talk about it to this day , i would be mortified if was my wedding and guests weren't fed.

I think your plan is totally fine. I love canapes and a drink, especially if the weather is nice outside. The meal is good timing as drinking in the Sun can go to your head to best to get on with that. Shortbread is good call for the transport as its easy to make, easy to store and doesn't make hands to sticky.
At the end of the day not everyone is going to agree on how you should do things so you just have to go with what you want. If guests are hungry by the time the wedding starts they can also bring their own snacks in there cars or grab an early lunch at there hotels.

we did bacon butties and croissants at about 9.30

These timings are very normal especially here in Ireland - if you are having a church wedding, church is 90 percent of the time 1pm, you might get the odd 2pm one. Then drive to reception with canapes on arrival with dinner being served around half 5. There is always food served around 10 or half 10 and the band stops for this. My own wedding was a ceremony onsite as reception, venue wouldn't allow a 3pm wedding had to be 2:30pm,which i wanted - 2:30pm was the compromise, they wanted it earlier, dinner was sit down at half 5 with serving before 6. We also had food served at 1/2 10 similar to what Op is saying she wants to serve. The only thing i made sure i did on mine was that speeches were after dinner, not before which is quiet common and then people are starving

You're completely missing the point OP. You dont have to plan for every eventuality, but the majority of people on the thread are telling you that they would expect evening food to be served, as they would likely be hungry later on in the day. So your chances are, based on the majority views here, that the majority of your own guests are going to see this the same way we all have, they will be hungry in the evening and expect another food option. Every single wedding iv been to has been another evening buffet, pizza, bacon barms etc. You've asked for opinions but im not sure why as you're not accepting what anyone is saying! If you want your guests hungry and wanting to leave early, for the sake of a bit of extra food, then that's completely your choice.

I’ve said I will look into food later on.

I don’t know why people think I have chosen to disregard feedback.

Even just evening parties I’ve been to there’s always been food served at 10pm. Even though in theory we would have had dinner at home before coming to the party. I would expect a small buffet style food option at around 10pm at a wedding after having not eaten since 5.30. It’s pretty standard.

Youve said you'll look into it, whilst also still arguing your point that you dont agree with it.

How is it gross? Most people will have had breakfast and no lunch due to the timings. They’re having their next meal at 5:30pm, with a small snack at 3:30 (if it’s any more than a small snack at 3:30 then they won’t eat much at 5:30. And then a sandwich or slice of pizza at 9.

So breakfast in the morning, an afternoon snack, 5:30 second meal, and a sandwich. Plus cheese and cake as a dessert. How is that gross? That’s normal for the vast majority of people. Three meals, a snack, and a dessert.